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Woudl you ask your bf/gf to get tests before that stage of sex?

Would you guy ask your bf/gf to do the test of STDs, HIV ect. I mean that kind of test before you would have sex with them?

If your partner asks you to go get tested, what would your initial feeling be?

How would you ask them without they maybe feeling you are not believe in them?

And finally, when do you think would be the best time to ask??

Reply 1

President_Ben

15

If you're both mature grown up people, anytime should be fine. If you're at that stage in a relationship, communicating your feelings should be pretty easy-going.

Reply 2

blissy

15

http://www.thestudentroom.co.uk/t191116.html
Have a look at this thread too :smile:

Reply 3

Tarts_n_Vicars

13

Anonymous

Would you guy ask your bf/gf to do the test of STDs, HIV ect. I mean that kind of test before you would have sex with them?

If your partner asks you to go get tested, what would your initial feeling be?

How would you ask them without they maybe feeling you are not believe in them?

And finally, when do you think would be the best time to ask??

Dare I say it....if the sex was going to be without a condom (hopefully at least the pill would be used instead :eek:

) then YES definately without a doubt absolutely no way would I have sex unless we'd both been tested.

I'm assuming that's the nature of the question because if you're using condoms then STDs and the catching of them, although always a risk, would probably not register that high on someone's agenda. If someone asked me I'd be ok with it - so long as they got tested too. It cuts both ways y'know?

And it's got nothing to do with "believing" anyone - STDs happen to all kinds of people, not people who are bad or promiscuous. So, I would not be in any way offended if a partner asked me to get tested...again so long as he did too.

Reply 4

lessthanthree

Of course I won't be offended if I'm asked to get one - I'd expect the same from him if we were going without condoms.

But presumably you wouldn't if your partner were a virgin? And how about if you knew your partner had a very limited sexual history -- for example had only had sex with one person, who was a virgin too? I'm not saying it's only promiscuous people who get STDs, but surely there are some people with whom the risk is so tiny as to be negligible.

Reply 5

lessthanthree

Virgins can carry stuff too y'know. I haven't in the past, but I should have asked, really.

I know it's just about possible for a virgin to have picked up an STD by a means other than sex, but is it not truly very unlikely (unless the person has been at risk of HIV from a dodgy blood transfusion or needle sharing)? I'd have thought that insisting a virgin partner has a test is just neurotic.

(sorry about being anonymous on this, it's just that I thought I might feel the need to write personal stuff about myself....)

Reply 6

lovelee-jublee

12

I didn't ask my boyfriend to do a test and he didn't ask me. But he told me that with his ex he got tested, as did she.

Looking back I should have asked him anyways, because he could have got something after the test was performed. I didn't feel the need to get tested as I was a virgin, but again, I still should have. I wouldn't have been offended if he asked me to get tested, and I wouldn't expect my boyfriend to get offended either.

Reply 7

twiga

15

My ex flat-out refused when I asked him to get tested, even though he'd never been tested for anything and had had unprotected sex in the past. However the waiting time at the local GUM clinic is about 10 weeks for "non-urgent" appointments which isn't good really :frown:

Reply 8

Book-worm

8

men can catch sti's off a toilet seat, so they can be more common than you think.

Then again, men shouldn't shag toilet seats! lol

Reply 9

El Scotto

15

Anonymous

Would you guy ask your bf/gf to do the test of STDs, HIV ect. I mean that kind of test before you would have sex with them?

If your partner asks you to go get tested, what would your initial feeling be?

How would you ask them without they maybe feeling you are not believe in them?

And finally, when do you think would be the best time to ask??

There shouldnt be any issues about asking a boyfriend/girlfriend about it... but make sure you get the timing right... If you leave it last minute it'd be a bit of a passion killer dont ya think?

Reply 10

mangomaz

14

twiga

My ex flat-out refused when I asked him to get tested, even though he'd never been tested for anything and had had unprotected sex in the past. However the waiting time at the local GUM clinic is about 10 weeks for "non-urgent" appointments which isn't good really :frown:

no way, thats ridiculous. How did you react to that?

Reply 11

twiga

15

mangomaz

no way, thats ridiculous. How did you react to that?

I refused to have sex with him without a condom :biggrin:

(I was on the pill at that point so pregnancy wasn't an issue).

Reply 12

Fluffy

15

Anonymous

Would you guy ask your bf/gf to do the test of STDs, HIV ect. I mean that kind of test before you would have sex with them?

If your partner asks you to go get tested, what would your initial feeling be?

How would you ask them without they maybe feeling you are not believe in them?

And finally, when do you think would be the best time to ask??

Yes - without a doubt. Make it more of a couple thing, by going together. Anyone who refuses if a tosser for want of a better word, and you're probably better off (and healthier) without them!

When to bring it up? When you feel you would like the relationship to progress...

--------------

Book-worm

men can catch sti's off a toilet seat, so they can be more common than you think.

Reply 13

blissy

15

Fluffy

When to bring it up? When you feel you would like the relationship to progress...

Or, if you went to the clinic I did, 10 weeks before you would like the relationship to progress!

Reply 14

Fluffy

15

blissy

Or, if you went to the clinic I did, 10 weeks before you would like the relationship to progress!

Come to London :biggrin:

Or lie and say your ex has just told you he has Chlamydia...

Reply 15

twiga

15

Fluffy

Come to London :biggrin:

Or lie and say your ex has just told you he has Chlamydia...

Hehe I might try that to get an appointment fast!

Reply 16

mangomaz

14

twiga

I refused to have sex with him without a condom :biggrin:

(I was on the pill at that point so pregnancy wasn't an issue).

Yeah you go girl!!!! Let him feel the rubber!

Reply 17

twiga

15

mangomaz

Yeah you go girl!!!! Let him feel the rubber!

Hehe. Well it's not an issue any more, as we're not together but I'm definately going to get myself tested in the near future to check he hasn't left me with any nasty mementos.

--------------

lessthanthree

Caring about your health isn't neurotic, especially since it takes about 10 minutes to have a test done. If a test required that he do the inca trail, swim back to england and climb up the side of the gherkin building with suction pads I might waive it, but why risk it on something so avoidable?