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Getting over a bad experience

This is going to sound really stupid, but I have suddenly developed a real fear of driving and I need some tips on getting it under control. I've been driving for 2 years, but a few weeks ago I was driving back from my boyfriend's when I lost control of my car. It was a fairly familiar, straight road, with a 60mph speed limit and I was only going about 50, but it was raining heavily, I hit a patch of water, and from there I have no idea what happened but it was as if someone else was driving the car. I guess I aquaplaned, I could hardly see for the water splashing up around my car, and I skidded right into the opposite lane before somehow ending up back on the correct side of the road but across a grass verge with my front wheel an inch from a ditch when I managed to stop the car. It was only a few seconds later that a massive lorry went thundering down the opposite lane and if things had been different he'd have hit me, and I can't get over that thought. A very kind couple stopped to check I was okay and could get out of the mud and wouldn't drive away until I was safely on the road again.

No damage was done but I can't stop thinking that if there had been any traffic coming when I spun into the opposite lane, or even coming up behind me, I'd have been in a very bad way. I know it's stupid and irrational but now, when I drive, I constantly find myself thinking things like 'If it happened now, I'd smash into that wall and die', or 'If it happened now, my car would flip into that ditch'. I was so lucky to be unhurt the first time that it's made me feel like I'm not really in control of my car any more. I'm scared to drive fast and terrified of driving in the rain - I had to drive back from my boyfriend's down the same road in the pouring rain again tonight and I was really shaking and driving ridiculously slowly. It sounds so stupid but, because I don't really know how or why I lost control the first time, I'm so scared of it happening again. Even the sound of a puddle splashing over my tyres makes me panic because that one time I had absolutely no control over the car and it really traumatised me. I'm even a really nervous passenger in other people's cars now.

Any tips on getting over this? I know it's really stupid, I have to drive a lot and I don't want to always be fearful, but this one experience has shaken me up so much that I don't feel in control any more and am constantly thinking 'what if?'.

Reply 1

TrentEnd

2

If you fall off a horse, you've just gotta pick yourself up and get back in the saddle. Same thing here - you'll be nervous, but the longer you leave it,the harder it'll get

Reply 2

TrentEnd

If you fall off a horse, you've just gotta pick yourself up and get back in the saddle. Same thing here - you'll be nervous, but the longer you leave it,the harder it'll get

Thanks for your reply. That was the exact reaction I had, which is why I've still been driving everywhere, but it's a couple of weeks later and it's not got any easier yet :frown:

Having to drive down the same road in the rain tonight brought it all back even more, but I deliberately didn't pick a different route. I just hate feeling so scared.

Reply 3

*soph*

14

How about getting some advanced driving training with an ADI, so you can build up your confidence again?

Reply 4

brunswick

Its not stupid at all, I'd say its a perfectly natural response to feel nervous after such an incident. Perhaps it would be best to try some mini-lesson type things, ie try driving with a friend/relative in the car on roads you know well and try to avoid driving when the conditions aren't good until you gradually build your confidence. Or perhaps just have a few refresher lessons with a qualified instructor - not because you need to learn more, but because they'll hopefully make you feel more confident about your abilities and you'll realise that you will be ok whilst driving. Good luck :smile:

Reply 5

*soph*

How about getting some advanced driving training with an ADI, so you can build up your confidence again?

That's not a bad idea Soph, thanks. I'm not sure I'll be able to afford anything at the moment but it's definitely worth looking into.

Reply 6

TrentEnd

2

good luck

Reply 7

username30638

13

Anonymous

This is going to sound really stupid, but I have suddenly developed a real fear of driving and I need some tips on getting it under control. I've been driving for 2 years, but a few weeks ago I was driving back from my boyfriend's when I lost control of my car. It was a fairly familiar, straight road, with a 60mph speed limit and I was only going about 50, but it was raining heavily, I hit a patch of water, and from there I have no idea what happened but it was as if someone else was driving the car. I guess I aquaplaned, I could hardly see for the water splashing up around my car, and I skidded right into the opposite lane before somehow ending up back on the correct side of the road but across a grass verge with my front wheel an inch from a ditch when I managed to stop the car. It was only a few seconds later that a massive lorry went thundering down the opposite lane and if things had been different he'd have hit me, and I can't get over that thought. A very kind couple stopped to check I was okay and could get out of the mud and wouldn't drive away until I was safely on the road again.

No damage was done but I can't stop thinking that if there had been any traffic coming when I spun into the opposite lane, or even coming up behind me, I'd have been in a very bad way. I know it's stupid and irrational but now, when I drive, I constantly find myself thinking things like 'If it happened now, I'd smash into that wall and die', or 'If it happened now, my car would flip into that ditch'. I was so lucky to be unhurt the first time that it's made me feel like I'm not really in control of my car any more. I'm scared to drive fast and terrified of driving in the rain - I had to drive back from my boyfriend's down the same road in the pouring rain again tonight and I was really shaking and driving ridiculously slowly. It sounds so stupid but, because I don't really know how or why I lost control the first time, I'm so scared of it happening again. Even the sound of a puddle splashing over my tyres makes me panic because that one time I had absolutely no control over the car and it really traumatised me. I'm even a really nervous passenger in other people's cars now.

Any tips on getting over this? I know it's really stupid, I have to drive a lot and I don't want to always be fearful, but this one experience has shaken me up so much that I don't feel in control any more and am constantly thinking 'what if?'.

That's nasty :eek:

, sounds like you were very lucky!

I imagine it must be quite worrying driving again after that, but don't let it get to you too much. I consider myself to be a very good driver, but I've still had a fair amount of near-misses... it's a fact of driving, and you can comfort yourself by remembering that it happens to everyone at some point. All I can really say is don't spend your life thinking about what might have happened or what might happen in the future, otherwise you really will never be able to drive again... it's like worrying about terrorist attacks or earthquakes, if you worried about them all the time, you would never go outside.

Personally I never drive anywhere unless I'm completely relaxed and focussed on the journey beforehand, otherwise it's just too dangerous. Perhaps you could speak to your parents about it (assuming that they drive and are relatively good drivers!). Their driving experience could be helpful and they could probably sympathise / give you advice on how they deal with similar problems.

Hope that helps, probably won't but hey, I tried :biggrin:

Reply 8

smellysocks

I was driving home on Friday night, along a fast stretch of road that I am extremely familiar and have driven down a million times. I was on my own in the car and I was just thinking to myself, the only way somebody could possibly crash would be if they were drunk and went off the road. As I was thinking this, I saw blue lights ahead.

I caught up with the ambulance as it was only going 50 and I was going faster than this, as it's a straight national speed limit road with good visibility. I sat behind it for a while, but as we got to a village near where I live this ambulance stopped. So I stopped as well, to find a horrendous scene.

A car with passengers had crashed in to a wall. It being the early hours of Saturday morning, there wasn't many cars on the road. At the scene was just me and the crew of this ambulance. The driver of the car was on the bonnet and had obviously not had his seat belt on, I assumed he was dead.

I wont go into it too much, but I stayed for about half an hour, helping the ambulance crew and directing the little traffic that came down the road back to where they had came from.

It was as I was driving home form this, the long way, taking a 7 mile detour, as the road was completely blocked. I thought to myself, what if i had been coming along here ten minutes or so earlier? If I'd left the pub a bit earlier at the same time as a couple of my friends had. I may have been there when this happened and got caught up in it.

It was because i was thinking this, i didn't notice my speed had increased a little further than it should have and found myself going round quite a sharp corner at 90 mph. Luckily I have good control of my car and brought the back end in and all was fine.

But I suppose the lesson here is:

•

Don't think about it too much

•

Be careful, but don't be over cautious

•

Maybe get some offroad training, where you will do things you wouldn't do on the road, but helps you to be able to control the car better in those few crazy situations where you need to.

Getting over a bad experience

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