Worried about my Mum

Umm yeah, basically my problem is that I can't stop worrying about my Mum. She always seems to be looking after me and my family and never really looks after herself at all, because she's too busy looking all of us. I don't know what to do because she just looks so depressed all the time. She told me tonight that she's trying to diet and look after herself a bit more because she's 5 stones overweight.

I asked her if she'd stop buying junk food such as crisps and snacks for my family (mainly my brother) since we don't need them, because I know that since she is always busy thats pretty much all she has time for. My brother isn't very helpful, he's 14, still very dependant, but he's also hitting a "difficult" age, and demanding stuff from my parents and also calling them names, which hurts their feelings a lot.

I'm just scared that she's going to get so worn down that her health is going to be in an even worse state too or even lose her. I'm worried that I haven't done enough to help. I keep my room clean and try to help more around the house, but I feel that maybe to help I should start shopping for groceries and maybe start cooking meals that might help her lose a bit of weight and get some confidence back.
I had an idea of getting all the junk and fatty foods in our house and just getting rid of them, and making healthy snacks instead.

I'm so worried that I'm being selfish and there's no-one I can talk to about it. :frown:

Sorry if this sounds stupid but I'm so worried about her.

Reply 1

Crimson Black

13

I don't think you're being selfish at all. Have you talked to her about it at all? Talk to your brother. Take a firm "sibling" stance; explain to your brothers how you think your mum feels, and ask them to alter their actions. It's what I had to do a few years ago too, although it wasn't half as bad as what you're describing.

Help around the house, yep. Going shopping is a great way of helping anyone. Ask her whenever you see her whether you can help: persist if she says "there isn't anything, darling".

Talk to your dad about him and mum taking a holiday off somewhere, relax, or a holiday for you and your siblings for an extended period of time together in order to let your mum recouperate, and perhaps address her own problems. Hope that helps :smile:

.

Reply 2

Sithius

16

Most mothers of families are like this, keep in mind I am only basing this idea over what you have told me. The situation could be a lot different...

Reply 3

fordeletionpurposesonly.

Anonymous

Umm yeah, basically my problem is that I can't stop worrying about my Mum. She always seems to be looking after me and my family and never really looks after herself at all, because she's too busy looking all of us. I don't know what to do because she just looks so depressed all the time. She told me tonight that she's trying to diet and look after herself a bit more because she's 5 stones overweight.

I asked her if she'd stop buying junk food such as crisps and snacks for my family (mainly my brother) since we don't need them, because I know that since she is always busy thats pretty much all she has time for. My brother isn't very helpful, he's 14, still very dependant, but he's also hitting a "difficult" age, and demanding stuff from my parents and also calling them names, which hurts their feelings a lot.

I'm just scared that she's going to get so worn down that her health is going to be in an even worse state too or even lose her. I'm worried that I haven't done enough to help. I keep my room clean and try to help more around the house, but I feel that maybe to help I should start shopping for groceries and maybe start cooking meals that might help her lose a bit of weight and get some confidence back.
I had an idea of getting all the junk and fatty foods in our house and just getting rid of them, and making healthy snacks instead.

I'm so worried that I'm being selfish and there's no-one I can talk to about it. :frown:

Sorry if this sounds stupid but I'm so worried about her.

Aaaw bless you. It sounds like your mum is blessed to have a son/daughter like you that cares so much.

You already do help out about the house, so how about making sure that your brother does his share? perhaps the two of you combined could do the hoovering / dusting... or you could go foodshopping or something. Also, have a word with him, explain to him that calling your parents names and demanding things isn't the nicest way to be.

If your mum wants to lose weight, how about you help her out with it? she might be looking for encouragement, so how about you suggest that you go for a walk as a family of an evening, or even just to two of you. That'd mean you're with her and can chat about your day etc whilst she gets healthy. Also, you could help her make a chart of how much weight she loses, or go swimming or something with her. Just to let her know that she has your support.

Don't stress about it too much hon, you're doing your best and can't be expected to do any more :smile:

Reply 4

PennyRoyalTea

10

Try and talk to your brother , erm 'sort him out'..make him understand that hes hurting your mum, tell him to be a bit more sympathetic towards her, my parents would be upset if I called them names..[upset being an understatement]..

Reply 5

Thanks for your advice.

I've tried speaking to my brother a few times before, but it's ended up with us both rowing or he just hurls abuse at me even more. I wish he'd grow up and realise a bit that the way he acts is really not acceptable. The way he talks to all of us is really out of order if I'm honest.

I've tried to talk to my Dad too, but he is so abrupt with all of us all of the time I don't feel like talking to him makes any difference. He's very happy being head of the family, and doesn't like it when he doesn't get everything right. He ends up screaming at my brother and I just don't think it helps :frown:

. I don't think he appreciates my Mum as much as he could.
I guess I'm saying my Dad can tell people what to do, but in the opposite situation he wouldn't want to hear anyone else telling him what he tells others. That's why I don't think I should talk to him.

I figured I'm old enough to try and make a big difference, so tomorrow when my Mum and Dad are at work, I'm going to try and talk to my brother, then I'm going to clear out the junk food, I dunno, put it all in a bag or something. I think I might try cooking something healthy for when my parents come home too.

I just want her to feel better about herself, because then she can do a lot more of the things she'd like to do.

Reply 6

PennyRoyalTea

10

Anonymous

I've tried to talk to my Dad too, but he is so abrupt with all of us all of the time I don't feel like talking to him makes any difference. He's very happy being head of the family, and doesn't like it when he doesn't get everything right. I guess I'm saying my Dad can tell people what to do, but in the opposite situation he wouldn't want to hear anyone else telling him what he tells others. That's why I don't think I should talk to him.

Hmm sounds like a typical indian father.....well maybe instead of talking to your brother or dad, talk to your mum? Give her some moral support, sounds like she could use some..

Reply 7

Beelzebub

Maybe you and your mum could take up something new together, like pilates or yoga classes? Would help you bond, so that she knows that you're there for her, as well as helping her relax and loose weight, and giving her a break from family life.

Reply 8

barbie

i know lots of mummys that have similar aspects to what youre describing, and your mum is lucky to have someone like you caring about her! :smile:

helping her out with little things, and like you were saying offering to do things like the shopping so she has less to think about would help.. you dont want her to feel that youre taking for granted all the stuff she does.

Worried about my Mum

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