Feeling horrible and like an ousider... Help?

Anonymous

I don't know what to doa anymore, and my hope has died, so I guess I have to resort to writing this up.

The truth is I am lonely. I moved here from overseas, and have just spent a term at a London University, and basically, I've only made a total of two friends, who both have their own lives outside Uni (whilst I have none). I have no friends in my halls, and every society I join doesn't help.

I don't drink/smoke, and have only ever been clubbing once, and I just feel so unexperienced, and like an outsider.

I don't actually go home until June, and can't drop out as I have paid a lot to get here, and I really love my course.

I just don't know what to do anymore- everything just hurts... Help, anyone?

The fact you dont drink or smoke or go clubbing isn't a problem,
Why not try going out with 1 or both of your 2 friends sometime and then maybe they can introduce you to people???

Reply 2

MNBStyle

The fact you dont drink or smoke or go clubbing isn't a problem,
Why not try going out with 1 or both of your 2 friends sometime and then maybe they can introduce you to people???

Because one of them is 2 years older, and commutes from Chichester everyday, and the other is a self-proclaimed recluse.

Reply 3

Anonymous

Because one of them is 2 years older, and commutes from Chichester everyday, and the other is a self-proclaimed recluse.

Well the age difference shouldn't be a problem and who cares if the other is recluse, is there noway you could go and see her???
And if your still at uni just try making friends in your lectures, everyone at uni has and maybe still is in the same position.
Its basically like being back at school again

Reply 4

SunburnedCactus

11

There's no "deadline" for meeting people, although things are geared that way at the start of the year there are still plenty of opportunities for making friends. Don't give up!

Reply 5

dude i live in london, seriously if you wanna meet up, feel free to PM me. i know what its like to be lonely when you dont share much in common with others around you.

Reply 6

lessthanthree

you can make more friends you know, it wouldn't be a betrayal. get out more on course or halls socials?

How? I am exculded from halls socials (I'm like a living ghost- no one realises I actually exist). And I know everyone on my couse (we're a very small department), and they make it quite clear they don't like us (by pointing and laughing for example).

Reply 7

Anonymous

How? I am exculded from halls socials (I'm like a living ghost- no one realises I actually exist). And I know everyone on my couse (we're a very small department), and they make it quite clear they don't like us (by pointing and laughing for example).

Us??? Whos us??? is this something to do with where your from or something?

Reply 8

MNBStyle

Well the age difference shouldn't be a problem and who cares if the other is recluse, is there noway you could go and see her???
And if your still at uni just try making friends in your lectures, everyone at uni has and maybe still is in the same position.
Its basically like being back at school again

She likes her "alone time" as she put it.

And at school, I didn't have many friends, I was "too opinionated".

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MNBStyle

Us??? Whos us??? is this something to do with where your from or something?

"us" is me and my 2 friends.

Reply 9

should that have come up as anon.?

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i take it you're from india?

Reply 10

teehar

should that have come up as anon.?

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i take it you're from india?

Yeah, so you know who I am now.. Brilliant. But who cares...

I'm from Aus, actually.

Reply 11

Nysh

Yeah, so you know who I am now.. Brilliant. But who cares...

I'm from Aus, actually.

Well why would they not like you then???? Australians are great :biggrin:

Reply 12

sorry, im an idiot, where is that geographically?

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oh australia, my bad

Reply 13

MNBStyle

Well why would they not like you then???? Australians are great :biggrin:

I'm not a typical Aussie- no accent, Indian origin, quite shy in general, huge fear of people in general...

Reply 14

dont worry about them, being friends with the people around you at uni, college, or whatever is not the most important thing. you can always find friends elsewhere, like here on TSR.

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i'm originally from india.

Reply 15

Nysh

I'm not a typical Aussie- no accent, Indian origin, quite shy in general, huge fear of people in general...

Oh right i see, well i personally wouldn't see that as a problem,
but thats just me, and so you have a social phobia aswell????
theres bound to be someone at uni who will be friends with you, after all you have 2 friends already try spending time with them when you can.

Reply 16

34253

2

Just talk to people you meet in halls and stuff and hopefully you will blend in with time.

Reply 17

lessthanthree

You don't *have* to be excluded.

what could you have done to make people dislike you so intensely? have you asked? because if it was getting to me that much I would. I have people dislike me, for sure, but I usually get to know why.

there's nothing but yourself stopping you from going to a hall or society social. what are the soceities like there?

i'm not sure of her full situation, but trust me it doesn't have to be something you do, it can more likely be something you are. i.e. brown. i hate to say it but in this country many students have serious problems with people of asian origin.

but yea, you will find somebody who is not soo judgemental, i eventually did.

Reply 18

lessthanthree

You don't *have* to be excluded.

what could you have done to make people dislike you so intensely? have you asked? because if it was getting to me that much I would. I have people dislike me, for sure, but I usually get to know why.

there's nothing but yourself stopping you from going to a hall or society social. what are the soceities like there?

I am in societies, but it's weird, it's like being an outsider, not knowing the ropes, just not feeling like I fit in.

As for socials, I feel so left out because everyone knows everyone else, and um, well, they're not exactly my scene- I just get really bored during them

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lessthanthree

I know. that's why it's good to catch them out and ask them :p:

It's not racial, both my friends are English. I have no clue what it was ab out, but I'm not the confronting kind of person.

Reply 19