?Can/Should I keep the secret?

Well I was just wondering if anyones been in the same situation that I'm in:

A few days ago I slept with one of my friends from Uni, he's in our close friendship group.

We decided not to tell any of our other friends, but I find not saying anything to anyone really hard, I know if I do, it'll get round though. And we'll get hassle about it I'm sure.

I'm not sure what to do? I'm slightly confused about how I feel about the whole situation of what happened, but I can't talk to anyone about it.

p.s. I'm sorry to post as anonymous user.

Reply 1

Objet trouvé

1

It depends. If it didn't mean anything, then leave it. If you want a relationship, then hiding it might prove difficult. To be honest if you both have a mature attitude towards sex then you could be completely open and casual about it. "Yeah we slept together, so what?" If you don't make it into a big thing, then it won't be.

Reply 2

-TMG-

9

Why would you want to tell anyone? Besides to brag:

"I slept with [someone] the other night"

I dont get it. There is no need to tell anyone.

Reply 3

Sithius

16

Yeah exactly my thoughts TMG!

I don't see what advantage it would bring to tell people? It's not like you have a guilty conscience to clear is it!

Reply 4

~~hannah~~

4

It's because I quite like the guy in question, and I don't know whether to tell him or not. And I want some advice from my friends, but obviously I can't.

Reply 5

~~hannah~~

4

when you say youre confused about what happened, do you mean you like him?

Reply 6

kriztinae

14

is it gonna go anywhere??
cos if it is then well u should talk to him and see if u guys should be honest together.
if it was a one off thing for both of you its safer not getting out

Reply 7

wendizzle22

1

Don't worry, by university age I'm sure no-one will be too bothered or hassle you about it.
The main thing is figuring out how you and him feel about what happened. If you don't feel bad about it, that's a good sign that you could let your friendship develop into a relationship (if you want it to of course!)

Reply 8

tomcoolinguk

13

I absolutely think you have to tell your friends. It sounds like you're feelings about this encounter have you left bruised, perhaps because it was quite casual? I think you feel a bit torn because normally you'd turn to your friends in a situation like this.

Reply 9

pumpkin7

13

i personally wouldn't say anything, because that will jsut show that you aren't very trust worthy.. and that will probably do you more harm than if the sex part got round.. :s-smilie:

Reply 10

LawQueen

14

Anonymous

Well I was just wondering if anyones been in the same situation that I'm in:

A few days ago I slept with one of my friends from Uni, he's in our close friendship group.

We decided not to tell any of our other friends, but I find not saying anything to anyone really hard, I know if I do, it'll get round though. And we'll get hassle about it I'm sure.

I'm not sure what to do? I'm slightly confused about how I feel about the whole situation of what happened, but I can't talk to anyone about it.

p.s. I'm sorry to post as anonymous user.

Silence sounds like the best option here until you've sorted you're own feelings about the matter.

Reply 11

Wanderlust

1

Keep it a semi-secret. Don't hide it:Covert information only remains covert for so long.

Just dont mention it, be comfrotable, et al.

Reply 12

random123

2

Why on earth do you need to tell anyone? If it's because you feel you have been hurt by the casualness of it or whatever, you should just get over it, or maybe get over yourself.

Reply 13

OMG i was in this EXACT situation just before we broke up for christmas. Me and my best friend got drunk and ended up having sex. then the next day he buggered off for the week - err to see his girlfriend! I felt so awful and confused about it all that i told 2 of my other best friends from uni who were really supportive and it made me feel a lot better having someone that knew about it and have someone to discuss my confusion with. So my advice is tell someone but make sure that they arent going to go and spread it around your whole friendship group x

Reply 14

Well I don't know what I think. I know I'm not hurt by the casualness of it. It doesn't bother me in that respect whatsoever.

I do think I may like him more than just mates, but that doesnt mean that the casualness bothered me.

I just maybe need to know where I stand.. I guess he'd talk to me if he felt anything more for me??

Reply 15

Well see how it goes between the two of you and if its uncomfortable or whatever then maybe should shuld talk to him about it. I still havent sorted my situation out :frown:

Reply 16

Jonatan

13

Anonymous

Well I don't know what I think. I know I'm not hurt by the casualness of it. It doesn't bother me in that respect whatsoever.

I do think I may like him more than just mates, but that doesnt mean that the casualness bothered me.

I just maybe need to know where I stand.. I guess he'd talk to me if he felt anything more for me??

If you like him why don't you ask him out for something a bit more romantic? I mean seeing that you've slept together chances are he likes you :rolleyes:

Reply 17

-TMG-

9

Anonymous

Well I don't know what I think. I know I'm not hurt by the casualness of it. It doesn't bother me in that respect whatsoever.

I do think I may like him more than just mates, but that doesnt mean that the casualness bothered me.

I just maybe need to know where I stand.. I guess he'd talk to me if he felt anything more for me??

Why don't you talk to him and ask him where you stand and how he feels! FFS if you're that bothered try doing something about it.

Shhhhhhhhhhh!!!!

Anonymous

Well I was just wondering if anyones been in the same situation that I'm in:

A few days ago I slept with one of my friends from Uni, he's in our close friendship group.

We decided not to tell any of our other friends, but I find not saying anything to anyone really hard, I know if I do, it'll get round though. And we'll get hassle about it I'm sure.

I'm not sure what to do? I'm slightly confused about how I feel about the whole situation of what happened, but I can't talk to anyone about it.

p.s. I'm sorry to post as anonymous user.

Why are you finding it really hard??? Its not as if either of you is in a relationship is it??
If it was just a fling then theres no point telling anyone really

?Can/Should I keep the secret?

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