moral dilemma

Clario

should i keep a friend's secret if i know it'll hurt another friend.. or is it best to keep shtum

Reply 1

twiga

That's a hard one, but you've been single for a long time so I say go for it. You can do what you want.

Reply 2

Fleece

:| i'm guessing you know more about the situation than the rest of us twiga.. :confused:

Reply 3

Clario

well, my best friend's been cheating on her bf. the bf is a good mate of mine due to him going out with my friend so i feel reluctant to get involved. thing is, my friend has been sleepin with her bf's best mate.. supposedly im the only one who knows. what to do what to do

Reply 4

Little Girl Red

Okay well this is my opinion on the whole "keeping secrets" thing.
If your friend has told you a "secret" which directly affects the other person, or is about them, and which you think they deserve to know...tell them.
My best friend told me that she was cheating (sleeping with somebody else) on my other best friend (a boy, obviously). I told him. THey broke up. She was less than impressed with me, but in my opinion he deserved to know.

Reply 5

IzzTheGreat

I'd say tell him. If he's your friend and you care about him then you should let him know. But I know it's an awkward situation - I've been part of it (as the cheating party :redface:

)

Reply 6

username18215

Let her know you're not comfortable with the situation, ask her to tell her boyfriend what is happening. If she doesn't then you should.

You can't exactly say you're "good mates" with the boyfriend if you're going to stand there and let it happen.

Reply 7

Tarts_n_Vicars

I wouldn't tell him. I know you think he should know but it could come round and bite you in the behind if you're the one who fesses her up - they could decide to stay together and both will be peed at you - her for telling him and him for not telling him sooner.

If she's a good mate of yours it's unfair of her to have put you in this position and I think you need to have it out with her rather than get involved in the situation with him directly. It might also help if you spoke to the guy's mate who your friend is sleeping with - if he's the bfs best mate he's not doing a very good job of it is he?

You could also try telling your mate that you'll tell the bf if she doesn't to force her into confessing first. Good luck!

Reply 8

ApeXaviour

I agree with Tarts_n_Vicars, you shouldn't tell him. It's not your place. If he asks you outright don't lie. But for all other intents and purposes "you don't know" and you should stay out of it.

You will break a bond of trust between you and your best friend and I personally consider it to be meddling. It's pretty much a golden rule not get involved in domestic issues, and that's what this is. More often than not both parties will see you as the one to blame (I know, makes no sense right?) if you do meddle.

Reply 9

dogtanian

I'd make it clear to your friend just how you feel about her actions. Tell her that she cannot continue to treat her boyfriend (and your friend) like a complete mug if you two still want to have a close friendship. I couldn't be friends in the same way with someone if that were the case.

Reply 10

Segat1

^^^ What they said. I would recommend you tell your friend you aren't happy, don'tt agree and if they don't tell their boyf about it in 10 days then you will tell them yourself.

Reply 11

CherryGarcia

u should be a grave, I mean you should keep a secret I think, better for everyone...

Reply 12

dogtanian

I personally wouldn't threaten to tell. That'd probably just make her resent your interfering.

Besides, she can't care that much about her boyfriend for that to affect her too seriously. But I'd like to think that making my best friend aware of the fact that the situation was making me like them less as a person and was affecting our relationship would make her think twice...