Attractive girl but with no friends Watch

Anonymous #1
#1
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I just wondered if anyone else is in a similar position as me.

I've never been one of the popular girls and I didn't become 'attractive' (in my opinion) until I was about 16/17. I've always had friends but these days they are few and far between apart from a couple of really good friends that I have had since I was about 13.

I find it hard to make friends. I'm quite quiet, not really shy just don't talk that much. I find I get along a lot easier with guys than girls, though I would quite like some female friends. Problem is, most of the girls I know are either very *****y and extremely concerned about self-image etc or they just don't want to know me. I've been told by one girl who I got to know while we were both wasted that she used to see me as quite intimidating before she got to know me because I didn't say much and was so 'pretty'. This made me quite sad as I get the feeling I must project this image of being stuck up or something when I am not.

I feel as though if I were average looking I would have more friends because girls either have that weird *****y thing where they hate other girls who are pretty (even though they are gorgeous themselves) or they see me as cold/un interested and as though I think I'm better than them or something.

How can I stop projecting this image? I'm not arrogant or stuck up, I'm just quiet, but I do want to get to know people!

I'm sure I will get some abuse for calling myself attractive because having decent self esteem clearly means I am a cocky ***** who thinks she is god's gift.. :dry: oh well

Anyway thanks in advance to helpful answers.
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Cesare Borgia
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Firstly, I think we should be the judge of whether you are attractive or not.
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Venomilys
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you don't have to be attractive to have friends

who bases friendships on looks? I know quite a lot of people who don't have great aesthetics but they are way way more popular than me. I'm slightly introverted so obviously have less friends, it's all about personality
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Ilyas)
you don't have to be attractive to have friends

who bases friendships on looks? I know quite a lot of people who don't have great aesthetics but they are way way more popular than me. I'm slightly introverted so obviously have less friends, it's all about personality
Did you even read the post? I wasn't saying that at all! :/ I was saying that other girls have this weird competitive jealous thing where they don't want to know me because I'm a 'threat' or something stupid, or I come across as stuck up to others.

P.s. I'm not saying I'm like super amazing looking, just attractive.
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michaelhaych
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Beauty?
Low Self-Esteem?

Hi, I don't believe we've met! :cookie:
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Cesare Borgia)
Firstly, I think we should be the judge of whether you are attractive or not.
Kinda irrelevant. If I showed a picture of myself and you thought I wasn't attractive then fine but that doesn't help me, I know I am considered attractive among certain people. And if you saw me and thought I was attractive, that doesn't help either. I don't care if anyone here thinks I'm ugly/average etc I'm just asking for advice on how to project a better image of myself, and not as some stuck up stupid bint.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by michaelhaych)
Beauty?
Low Self-Esteem?

Hi, I don't believe we've met! :cookie:
I don't have low self esteem, nor high. Just normal.
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DivineIntervention
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I'll be your friend. Add me
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Phonicsdude
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I just wondered if anyone else is in a similar position as me.

I've never been one of the popular girls and I didn't become 'attractive' (in my opinion) until I was about 16/17. I've always had friends but these days they are few and far between apart from a couple of really good friends that I have had since I was about 13.

I find it hard to make friends. I'm quite quiet, not really shy just don't talk that much. I find I get along a lot easier with guys than girls, though I would quite like some female friends. Problem is, most of the girls I know are either very *****y and extremely concerned about self-image etc or they just don't want to know me. I've been told by one girl who I got to know while we were both wasted that she used to see me as quite intimidating before she got to know me because I didn't say much and was so 'pretty'. This made me quite sad as I get the feeling I must project this image of being stuck up or something when I am not.

I feel as though if I were average looking I would have more friends because girls either have that weird *****y thing where they hate other girls who are pretty (even though they are gorgeous themselves) or they see me as cold/un interested and as though I think I'm better than them or something.

How can I stop projecting this image? I'm not arrogant or stuck up, I'm just quiet, but I do want to get to know people!

I'm sure I will get some abuse for calling myself attractive because having decent self esteem clearly means I am a cocky ***** who thinks she is god's gift.. :dry: oh well

Anyway thanks in advance to helpful answers.
I used to have similar problems. Sometimes people would act all shy around me, especially girls. Or guys would get super passive aggressive. I know how you feel. Best advice I can give is to do things you love so that you give off positive vibes and you'll meet people that way.

You're not arrogant. You're a cocky ***** who thinks she's god's gift. I like that.
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michaelhaych
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Kinda irrelevant. If I showed a picture of myself and you thought I wasn't attractive then fine but that doesn't help me, I know I am considered attractive among certain people. And if you saw me and thought I was attractive, that doesn't help either. I don't care if anyone here thinks I'm ugly/average etc I'm just asking for advice on how to project a better image of myself, and not as some stuck up stupid bint.
You could always make friends with boys. They're not going to hate you because you're pretty. Quite the opposite in fact.
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Niassuh
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I actually find it difficult to talk to the "popular girls" I've tried, though.
I have a friend who was in your situation, that's not the case anymore
You need to go for the shy ones like yourself, often they have more depth and personality than most; they're loyal too
Good luck and don't feel down, god\allah gave you good looks so don't wish you were something else; plus everyone probably wants to look like you so it would be kinda...ungrateful to think like that
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catherinec
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I'm the same as you.

I have very few female friends.
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fazz
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The whole popular girls are *****y towards over attractive girls really annoys me because i would say in my group of ten close girl friends 8 are very attractive and at college when we got speaking to people we found out a lot of people assumed we would just be *****es and really superficial which it turned out we weren't. We all liked to take pride in our appearances but it was quite sad to think people thought we wouldn't want to speak to them. Basically think of it like this - you're saying people are judging you on your appearance yet are you not doing exactly the same by just presuming the 'pretty popular' girls will not be friends because your attractive?

Give them a chance, try talking to them, you'd probably be surprised.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Sparkie3222)
Ok, it's the girls who wear make-up and are popular who are the ones who I dislike the most. It is pathetic. Who cares what you look like? In the case of men, it is better they fall in love with you for who you are not just how you look!


Anyway, they will not be your real friends if they go by how you look. They are only a proper friend if they like you, for you.

Seriously. No need with all this "how I look" crap. I don't mean it harshly, but just get on with life, and know that you can be happy who you are.

In fact watch this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gc4HGQHgeFE
It is clearer the way he describes it all...

p.s. I do know how it feels to be like that. Unsure whether you are pretty or not. I just got on with my life, and just acted me.. I had a nice amount of friends - never properly 100% true I suppose, but when I was 16 a boy noticed me.. and now nearly 2.5 years on and we are still having fun!!!
Thank you for your response, though I don't think you really got what I was saying. I have no issues with my appearance, and I don't want to be friends with those *****y girls who obsess over make-up and stuff like that. I just don't like that some people view me as stuck up because of I am both quiet and attractive. I feel people see me and assume I must be loud and confident and then when I am quiet they think 'Oh she must think she is too good for us to speak to us'. I want to appear friendlier but I don't know how, I'm polite and take an interest in people, rarely talk about myself, what am I doing wrong!

(Original post by Phonicsdude)
I used to have similar problems. Sometimes people would act all shy around me, especially girls. Or guys would get super passive aggressive. I know how you feel. Best advice I can give is to do things you love so that you give off positive vibes and you'll meet people that way.

You're not arrogant. You're a cocky ***** who thinks she's god's gift. I like that.
Ha ha I'm not cocky! Just want people to realise I'm a normal person, I'm not arrogant. I'd rather know I'm decent looking than be one of those girls complaining all the time about each and every part of them even though the majority of them are perfectly lovely.


(Original post by zalwanich)
well you say you're attractive... Lets see a picture and i'll judge that.
As I said before, that's not the point, irrelevant and not helpful.

(Original post by michaelhaych)
You could always make friends with boys. They're not going to hate you because you're pretty. Quite the opposite in fact.
Yes but I find friendships with guys who just want to sleep with me are not very good friendships. I have one close male friend I've been best friends with since I was about 14. If he ever started flirting with me or something it would creep me out and I'd be pretty devastated, he's like a brother to me, a friend and nothing more.
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Arekkusu
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I just wondered if anyone else is in a similar position as me.

I've never been one of the popular girls and I didn't become 'attractive' (in my opinion) until I was about 16/17. I've always had friends but these days they are few and far between apart from a couple of really good friends that I have had since I was about 13.

I find it hard to make friends. I'm quite quiet, not really shy just don't talk that much. I find I get along a lot easier with guys than girls, though I would quite like some female friends. Problem is, most of the girls I know are either very *****y and extremely concerned about self-image etc or they just don't want to know me. I've been told by one girl who I got to know while we were both wasted that she used to see me as quite intimidating before she got to know me because I didn't say much and was so 'pretty'. This made me quite sad as I get the feeling I must project this image of being stuck up or something when I am not.

I feel as though if I were average looking I would have more friends because girls either have that weird *****y thing where they hate other girls who are pretty (even though they are gorgeous themselves) or they see me as cold/un interested and as though I think I'm better than them or something.

How can I stop projecting this image? I'm not arrogant or stuck up, I'm just quiet, but I do want to get to know people!

I'm sure I will get some abuse for calling myself attractive because having decent self esteem clearly means I am a cocky ***** who thinks she is god's gift.. :dry: oh well

Anyway thanks in advance to helpful answers.
Just posting to say that I was shy at school and people also assumed I was stuck up or thought I was too good for them. Being one of the smart kids didn't help.
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Kamenoko
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I just wondered if anyone else is in a similar position as me.

I've never been one of the popular girls and I didn't become 'attractive' (in my opinion) until I was about 16/17. I've always had friends but these days they are few and far between apart from a couple of really good friends that I have had since I was about 13.

I find it hard to make friends. I'm quite quiet, not really shy just don't talk that much. I find I get along a lot easier with guys than girls, though I would quite like some female friends. Problem is, most of the girls I know are either very *****y and extremely concerned about self-image etc or they just don't want to know me. I've been told by one girl who I got to know while we were both wasted that she used to see me as quite intimidating before she got to know me because I didn't say much and was so 'pretty'. This made me quite sad as I get the feeling I must project this image of being stuck up or something when I am not.

I feel as though if I were average looking I would have more friends because girls either have that weird *****y thing where they hate other girls who are pretty (even though they are gorgeous themselves) or they see me as cold/un interested and as though I think I'm better than them or something.

How can I stop projecting this image? I'm not arrogant or stuck up, I'm just quiet, but I do want to get to know people!

I'm sure I will get some abuse for calling myself attractive because having decent self esteem clearly means I am a cocky ***** who thinks she is god's gift.. :dry: oh well

Anyway thanks in advance to helpful answers.
I have had similar problems to you OP, but more to do with my shyness than competative *****y girls. I'm starting uni in a month and have no idea where I'm going to start with people. The only thing I've found that helps me is just taking a deep breath and approching people. Most of the time that's all it takes. If you show you're interested in being friends, they might be more receptive. Explain that you're really shy Most people find that endearing and I know I prefer shy to extrovert.
Good luck
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zalwanich
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Babe, you could be butterz. man up and show us a pic, then we might be able to properly help you.
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Kamenoko
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(Original post by zalwanich)
Babe, you could be butterz. man up and show us a pic, then we might be able to properly help you.
How exactly? She's already confident in her appearence. It's her personality she has a problem with and you can hardly help her with that from a picture.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Niassuh)
I actually find it difficult to talk to the "popular girls" I've tried, though.
I have a friend who was in your situation, that's not the case anymore
You need to go for the shy ones like yourself, often they have more depth and personality than most; they're loyal too
Good luck and don't feel down, god\allah gave you good looks so don't wish you were something else; plus everyone probably wants to look like you so it would be kinda...ungrateful to think like that
Thanks for replying. I'll take your advice. I suppose because I am quiet myself I gravitate towards louder people so they take some of the pressure off me talking etc But I think you're right, I'll try going for quieter ones.

(Original post by catherinec)
I'm the same as you.

I have very few female friends.
Why do you think that is?


(Original post by fazz)
The whole popular girls are *****y towards over attractive girls really annoys me because i would say in my group of ten close girl friends 8 are very attractive and at college when we got speaking to people we found out a lot of people assumed we would just be *****es and really superficial which it turned out we weren't. We all liked to take pride in our appearances but it was quite sad to think people thought we wouldn't want to speak to them. Basically think of it like this - you're saying people are judging you on your appearance yet are you not doing exactly the same by just presuming the 'pretty popular' girls will not be friends because your attractive?

Give them a chance, try talking to them, you'd probably be surprised.
I'm not presuming they won't like me, I've experienced it. I work in a bar and although I can chat to the other girls I don't feel they are genuine, there seems to be some *****y competitive feeling underlying. I don't really understand it because they are really pretty girls but they seem to be quite insecure.

From what you said it sounds like I am similar to you and your friends, in that people assume I am some stuck up ***** simply because I'm not unattractive. Thanks for your response.
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zalwanich
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(Original post by Kamenoko)
How exactly? She's already confident in her appearence. It's her personality she has a problem with and you can hardly help her with that from a picture.
yes i can. If you are ugly and if you are very good looking, then that changes the way people interact with you.
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