Can't cope with my parents

It's driving me insane - I just don't know what to do.

Basically my parents are really quite over protective of me, and it’s just starting to bug me so much. It doesn’t help that they argue so much (I seem to be the only thing they sort of agree on!). It’s mainly just little things, like making sure I go to bed at a reasonable hour. Stuff like that bugs me – especially my mum, she doesn’t understand that I need to finish my schoolwork for the night, and if that means the occasional late night then so be it. She always wants to make sure I’m in bed by 11. I know I shouldn’t be working this late anyway because my concentration around this hour isn’t great (!) but sometimes it’s necessary!
Another thing – my bedroom door – I recently started closing my door at night because I sleep better – but she always opens it and leaves it half shut! I think she resents me shutting myself off from her, but it would be nice to have a little privacy! Argh!! And she’s always fussing around in my room, insisting I tidy it, pick up clothes etc. It sounds picky and pathetic but she really drives me crazy!
Recently there’ve been loads of problems with grandparents – ie. being in hospital, nursing homes etc. and there’s been a lot of pressure on my mum. She tells me I should just not worry about it and get on with my life as normal and let my parents and uncle deal with the situation, but I can hardly sit around when she’s just broken down in tears about it all?! Especially when my dad is the biggest insensitive prat there is, and always says the wrong thing.

Sorry this sounds so messed up reading over it…I just don’t know what to do! Any I’m not sure what my question is…it’s just uber uber messed up problems with parents! :frown:

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I also ought to add I don't get on brilliantly with my dad - we've never really been great at communicating. Not sure how that ties into it but hey.

Reply 1

miss_buttercup

firstly hun heres a huge hug
i would suggest the way to get over it is to be honest, sit down and talk to your mum ,explain how your feeling and, for example, howyour not hiding anything and you respect her wishes but that you want to sleep with the door closed (which i think is a very fair request).
Try not to say n e thing in the heat of the moment tho cos it sounds likes shes under alot of pressure at the minute and shes clinging on desperately to you so that a) she wont loose you and b) your one thing in her life she can still have control over (grandparents getting sick is completly out of her hands).
hope it gets better soon x

Reply 2

MNBStyle

Have you said to your mum you close your door at night because it helps you sleep better??? if you aint then you should, then she might understand better.
Also point out the fact you like to have sometime to yourself in your room sometimes,
Theres many teenagers who would love a mum like yours (thoe they wouldn't admit it)
as for your room just try tidying it up a little bit before your mum asks about it, then it cuts off the hassle of her asking all the time.

Reply 3

Oddity

Don't worry. I love my mum but sometimes she drives me insane. The door thing, i got that 2. Why cant i keep it shut??? I mean...ill be living by myself in less than 6 months....about the sleeping thing you should really try to talk about that with her. its important she understands that it could interfere with ur schoolwork and that its good 4 ur grades. tell her its only occasionally and not all the time.
Since you write that ur grandparents are sick it might be that she is stressed out 4 that and is releasing tension on you. It is horrible when you actually understand that parents are human beings as much as us and that they make stupid mistakes as well. It is even more horrible when we need to be the grownups.
Sometimes parents have a transition phase when they start to realise that we are getting older and become over protective trying to cling on that power they used to have on us. its normal, we'll do it to our children as well. When i have a problem with my mother the best thing about it is to reasonably talk to her. not right after a fight or anything. just any time when she is free. sit down with her and tell her how you feel. I know this might sound cheesy but i really believe it is the right thing to do. Keeping things inside will just make you hate her and that will end up making you even more annoyed. its a vicious cycle. talk to her and see how it goes. make me know and good luck.

Reply 4

clairey87

Your mum is like that because she cares about you and it does seem like she has a lot of things on her mind at the moment. My Dad had 5 heart by-passes just around the same time my Granny (mum's mum) went into a home for the mentally ill. My mum was very very stressed and always picking at things. Although I can see now why she always said about picking up clothes - she'd spent ages ironing them or needed them so she could wash them! Maybe you should try and do the things she asks (like tidying your room etc) before she needs to pick at it. I'm sure it'd help her out a lot. You do need to explain to her that you do need the occasional late night for work though. I also had to explain that to my mum who thought that I was behind with my work as I had so much. x x x

I'm not too sure about the having your door open thing though - sorry.