nasty mentor

hi, basically im a first year nurse and before the christmas holidays i spent 2 weeks in placement. i loved the ward and the staff working on it and im goin back to that same ward when i get back to uni for 7 weeks. The problem is my mentor is really, really horrible! she was so rude and nasty to me during my 2 observational weeks, she even managed to make me cry(which is usually quite hard). I cant wait to get bk to uni to see my friends and continue my course, and im excited about the placement but as its gettin closer im gettin more and more worried about how i'll cope with my mentor that im starting to dread it! i know ive only got to get thro 7 weeks then ill hopefully never have to work with her again, but i really want to enjoy my first placement (well every placement!). does anyone have n e tips to help me get thro it? sorry to sound so wingey but im hopin some of you will have had nasty mentors and therefore understand my problem. thanks loads xx

Reply 1

qwerty_st/n

11

aww love it's such a shame that you've ended up with a crap mentor on your first ever placement :frown:

it sounds like she's not been very professional...on the occasions that she made you cry did she ever apologise? she undoubtedly knows that this is your first placement...so she should be more considerate of that.

in all of my placements (4 so far!), i've not had a mentor who was as nasty as that...granted i didn't see eye to eye with my first mentor either...but at least she was civil, and never said anything to upset me...there was this HCA once who rather bitchily said that i'd never make staff nurse...all because i didn't know where the blue pinnies were kept...it's a blow to your confidence when someone says something like that...i tend to try and keep my chin up and be a 'model student' for the rest of the placement..that way no one has any grounds for slagging me off...but if it's still pretty bad, take solace in the fact that your 7 weeks will be over before you know it.

also...you said you liked the staff on the ward (apart from your mentor) so work with other nurses whenever you can...and be totally fabulous with them...and if they've got any sense they'll tell your mentor what a good student you are.

i know it's hard at times...but you really cant let on too much that her behaviour is getting to you...cos then she might say you're like hyper sensitive and cant deal with situations like that..if you get my point...

...i guess one thing you can take from your experience is that you know you'll never be as bad a mentor as her when you qualify and it's your turn to mentor students...if you look at everything she's done wrong and do it the right way you'll be an excellent mentor...even if it is a bit far off yet!

try not to worry about her...there's a load of dragons out there...but they're far outnumbered by good mentors...you just have to ride it out because unfortunately it's all part and parcel.
i wish you the best of luck...and i really hope it's not so bad for you when you go back :smile:

Reply 2

fundamentally

15

Get used to it.

You will find that a lot of nurses are like that. At many hospitals, there is a culture of superior nurses being horrible to juniors. It suck, but that is life. That is one of the reasons that so many nurses leave and why they have to import nurses from overseas or use temp staff.

Reply 3

miss_buttercup

OP

thanks qwerty st/n your such a star. she was really unprofessional, my mentor kept being bitchy when i didnt know where anything was too, which is silly cos it was my first placement and indeed the first id ever worked in a hospital so i hadnt got a clue! oh well im just goin to try to keep my head up and be a good student for the other staff to see.

Reply 4

Steph D

Change your mentor. I know u might not want to make a fuss but u must stand up for yourself. Explain to one of the sisters or ward manager that u are not happy workin with your mentor and they should find a replacement mentor. If no luck there talk to the clinical placement facilitators....still no luck....ya personal tutor.
Its not easy training to be a nurse and over the past 16 months I have been treated really well and really ******. We must not put up with it.....They would not like it if it was them in that situation. I have had my confidence knocked by ppl who think they are so superior and health care asst and porters are the worse i tell ya.
On my last placement I got friendly with a 3rd year, I am a second. She loved the ward at first, I was unsure. One day I found her crying in the laundry room. Shocked as I was I asked her what was up. She replied she was sick of her mentor bullying her. critisin her and making her feel small. She spent the rest of the day upset. I heard her mentor and the ward sister talking about her. Slaggin her off saying she was lazy and her attitude sucked and she would never make a nurse if she is like this in her 3rd year. I was furious.....I said to them both do you mind....please do not speak badly about a student and especially not so I can hear. How unprofessional of you both. U have not considered how she is feeling. You have made her cry and knocked her confidence. She may be appearing lazy cos she has been demotivated and it will take a lot to build her confidence up. I hope I never hear you saying the same about me or any other student.
I never told the 3rd year.
For some reason I fitted in on that ward and they all liked me ....no doubt cos I aint 2 posh 2 wash and was running round with a bed pan constantly. And being in the second year you develop much more confidence, you become thick skinned cos lots a nurses are bitches.
I hear on my placements "oh no we have a first year...first ward.....and yes they are thinking buggger not gonna know anythin, not gonna be able to do anythin...dont let it get to you. We all have to start somewhere...and they forget they were students once.
Keep ya chin up.....get through ya first placement as best you can! keep us posted on how ya doin.
Ha Ha gotta tell ya I dont have a placement for this module as the ward has no mentors. An argument is goin on with the ward and allocations. The ward sez they dont have to accept students if they dont have mentors. Allocations are saying its not our fault you have no mentors. I am hopin whilst there bickering goes on that I can have a week off to chill....wont happen tho. But I worked all summer and Xmas need a break!
take care

Reply 5

miss_buttercup

OP

Steph D

Change your mentor. I know u might not want to make a fuss but u must stand up for yourself. Explain to one of the sisters or ward manager that u are not happy workin with your mentor and they should find a replacement mentor.

unfortunately my mentor is a sister and often manages the ward so i cant really speak to them about it. thanks for your advice, im goin to try to be a really good student so she hasnt got n e thing to bitch about and if she's still mean and rude im just not going to care! i feel much more happy about goin back now thanks everyone!x

nasty mentor

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