Break up confusion. . . . .

Hi, this is gona be kinda long so if you manage to read through it all thanks :smile:

First off, i split up with my girlfriend a few weeks back.

We were together a year and towards the end it just got really bad. Arguing, constant disagreements and ofcourse the problem that shes in a uni 90 miles away, and i have an equally busy life. There just wasn't time i guess.

I grew apart from her, but she still likes me almost as much. First time i've ever had to split with somebody like that and i still hate myself for it.
Partly because she was my first solid gf, and i know i still kinda like her, but it just wouldn't work between us. There are still some feelings but its best to walk away.

One problem is we still talk quite often, and i know it's the wrong thing to do because its kinda giving her false hope. But then i feel if i dont talk to her i'd just be abandoning her. She isnt really socialising well at uni and i can't help but feel im leaving her totally on her own :frown:

And now i find i'm liking somebody else. Its really soon after the breakup, but I really like this new girl. Its not just a physical attraction either. I talk to her quite often and find her more interesting than anything. At the moment shes the only thing that ever cheers me up.
Then I keep asking myself am I just looking for a comfort blanket cos im afraid to be alone?

Its all crazy - an ex girlfriend who i've hurt really bad and im trying to get over, a new girl i like who probably doesnt like me back but's driving me crazy all the same, i'm having a tough time among friends i dont trust anymore, and my family life kinda went down the pan a while ago. And now i can't be bothered working cos my social life is a mess.

At a time like this its just hard to pick yourself up and move on. Mainly cos i duno where to move on to :confused:

Reply 1

Anonymous

Then I keep asking myself am I just looking for a comfort blanket cos im afraid to be alone?

Yes.
Give it time.

It is unfair to both of you to get involved just to use her like a piece of tissue to wipe away your tears.

Reply 2

awkward_eagle

1

You sound like you've got a lot on at the moment with friend and family troubles, and having recently split up with your exgf too. If I were you I'd be inclined to wait and see how it goes with this other girl, don't rush into anything.

I was in a relationship which ended in a similar way to yours. My bf's feelings changed towards me, things went sour, but when we actually split I still felt a lot for him. I'm sure he was probably ready to move on and go out with someone else not long after breaking off with me, but if he had got a new gf and I'd found out about it, it would have been like a kick in the gut for me, even though I knew there was no hope of getting back together with him.

You don't say how recently you split up, but if it's less than a month then I'd be inclined to give it a bit more time, for your ex's sake aswell as your own.

Reply 3

Monkey_Maiden

11

Sounds similar to me, my bf broke up with me a couple weeks back and likes someone else, I'm finding it really hard to cope, not just with the fact that we will never be together again and do cute things like snuggle and hold hands but also the fact that he does like someone else too. I know its not up to me anymore what he does and who he likes but it's so horrible and upsetting when I know he's mostly over the whole relationship between us and moving onto somone else. I cant help comparing myself to her look and personality wise. And asking myself she's probably more interesting than me and is nicer than me etc.

I would say don't jump into anything too quick as your ex is probably really hurting still and wants to know your not completely over her just yet, also I know you like this girl but how does she feel back? Don't use her as a comfort blanket as you say as its not fair on her. If you broke up recently give it time.

Keep talking to ure ex on msn or so, she probably feels really alone right now esp if shes finding it hard to settle down and so far from her home and mates. She needs support.

Reply 4

Hi, I posted the original thread.

And it seems this certain somebody i like just hooked up with another guy. Typical. My luck is so bad and i must be blind. Really liked her too :frown:

So much for that. Atleast shes happy (that makes somebody atleast) :frown:

So it's now back to being a single man for the forseeable future.
I can't remember the benefits of this can sumbody remind me? :p:

Break up confusion. . . . .

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