"If it's irony you're aiming for, you might need to make it a bit clearer"

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Surfing Hamster
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#1
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"If it's irony you're aiming for, you might need to make it a bit clearer" - a comment from my English Lecturer noted on a coursework piece.

Any suggestions on how to make the irony clearer in this snippet?

"Societies range from the ridiculously sublime tiddlywinks club to the heated charms of the debating society; both of which have achieved a surprisingly high status among students."
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elpaw
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your teacher is right, that doesnt sound very ironic.

as for improving it, well im hopeless at english! im a physicist for gordon bennnet's sake!
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chrisbphd
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(Original post by Surfing Hamster)
"If it's irony you're aiming for, you might need to make it a bit clearer" - a comment from my English Lecturer noted on a coursework piece.

Any suggestions on how to make the irony clearer in this snippet?

"Societies range from the ridiculously sublime tiddlywinks club to the heated charms of the debating society; both of which have achieved a surprisingly high status among students."
I find your avatar offensive. What if somebody did have epilepsy?
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Surfing Hamster
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(Original post by chrisbphd)
I find your avatar offensive. What if somebody did have epilepsy?
Hmm..I see what you mean.

Maybe I should make my font bigger for people with poor eyesight, and enhance the contrast?

Get over it! :rolleyes:
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Ben.S.
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(Original post by chrisbphd)
I find your avatar offensive. What if somebody did have epilepsy?
Then the answer would be, 'yes'.

Ben
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llama boy
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(Original post by Surfing Hamster)
Societies range from the ridiculously sublime tiddlywinks club to the heated charms of the debating society; both of which have achieved a surprisingly high status among students."
Societies range from the sublime yet enticing tiddlywinks club to the heated attraction of the debating society; both of which have achieved a high status among students that can only be described as "perplexing".
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hattori
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(Original post by Surfing Hamster)
"If it's irony you're aiming for, you might need to make it a bit clearer" - a comment from my English Lecturer noted on a coursework piece.

Any suggestions on how to make the irony clearer in this snippet?

"Societies range from the ridiculously sublime tiddlywinks club to the heated charms of the debating society; both of which have achieved a surprisingly high status among students."
*windblows tumble weed*

don't see the irony at all

maybe you should pick on something more obscure than debating.
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emom100
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(Original post by Surfing Hamster)
"If it's irony you're aiming for, you might need to make it a bit clearer" - a comment from my English Lecturer noted on a coursework piece.

Any suggestions on how to make the irony clearer in this snippet?

"Societies range from the ridiculously sublime tiddlywinks club to the heated charms of the debating society; both of which have achieved a surprisingly high status among students."

I don't know about making it more ironical but the "rediculously sublime tiddlywinks club bit doesn't flow very well.
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me!
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#9
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A professional tiddlywinks player is called a winker, true fact. Hehehe it was on Big Brother I think...
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