The Student Room Group

how to stop loving your BF?

I want to stop loving my BF. The problem is that we are too different and he now tells that he wants to marry me etc. But I understand that I am not sure if I will be happy with him, coz we have to many arguments, and we are just too different! We want different things, I am 20 and want to go mad, I mean do stupid things with my partner, like dance on the streets, go to ice rink together, make love in cars, go to the disco and getting drunk together, then go home and have sex for all nite, but he is 27 and he is so calm and pragmatic... There are many things, but there is no need to write them I just dont want to be with him any more, I got it, but the problem is that I am madly in love with him, but I understand that I dont want to be with such a person, I just cant accept what he is and i am tired to be that pusher, who organizes evrth etc... It is just my first real relationships and I am kind of sceared to lose it, and I also cant cut it at one moment coz as soon as I start talking about breaking up he starts to cry and get to my heart, but after a few days evrth is the same..so the question is how do I stop my feelings, and I want to do that first and then break up with him, so his tears wont get to my hearts...how do I do that?
Reply 1
Anonymous
I want to stop loving my BF. The problem is that we are too different and he now tells that he wants to marry me etc. But I understand that I am not sure if I will be happy with him, coz we have to many arguments, and we are just too different! We want different things, I am 20 and want to go mad, I mean do stupid things with my partner, like dance on the streets, go to ice rink together, make love in cars, go to the disco and getting drunk together, then go home and have sex for all nite, but he is 27 and he is so calm and pragmatic... There are many things, but there is no need to write them I just dont want to be with him any more, I got it, but the problem is that I am madly in love with him, but I understand that I dont want to be with such a person, I just cant accept what he is and i am tired to be that pusher, who organizes evrth etc... It is just my first real relationships and I am kind of sceared to lose it, and I also cant cut it at one moment coz as soon as I start talking about breaking up he starts to cry and get to my heart, but after a few days evrth is the same..so the question is how do I stop my feelings, and I want to do that first and then break up with him, so his tears wont get to my hearts...how do I do that?


If you're not happy in this relationship, you should end it.

It's not fair on you and him if you continue.
Reply 2
Firebird
It doesn't sound like you love him, it sounds like you love being in love. Get your friends together and have some girly time, and realise that you don't need him, and split up with him for good. He's 27, I'm sure he's been dumped before. He'll get over it.

Alternatively why don't you be spontaneous? He might want that, but he feels he can't cos he's older...

thats the problem, I am trying to be spontaneous all the time, but he just cuts it, he tells my ideas are mad, like that time, I have decided that it would be kinda cool, to go on a road trip around Italy and may be some other countries, I printed map, made out roads that we could get, like hotels even thought about money, first he told that it was too early to think about it (it was plan for summer, and what? if I got this idea now, what wrong in that just to sit and discuss it) then he told that it would be too complicated and I dont understand anth in this life, but come on, it is not so hard, and btw when he wants to do smth he always does it!!!And I have planned evrth... every time I suggest smth he tells I am a naive little girl and he needs to protect me..but i am tired of it..i feel like in a cage..
Reply 3
If you're wishing he was different and don't think you can be happy with him the way he is, I would suggest breaking it off.
Reply 4
Same view as blissy.
Reply 5
it is just hard to cut it, coz I feel I am liek addicted to him, you know with my heart or smth, I just understand with my mind that it wont work out... :frown: and he always starts to get to my heart when we start to break up....