The Student Room Group

Guys and Crying

Ok, obviously I'm insecure about this, otherwise I wouldn't be posting anonymously. Should guys cry? And if they can, what should they cry about?As far as I can see, they can cry about a death of someone close or the relegation of their football team. What if we started crying about failing university applications or being lonely or being dumped?
And also does our sexuality have anything to do with how emotional we can get?

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Reply 1
I cry all the time, I'm not ashamed to ammit it. It isn't just girls who feel lonely some nights and have a quiet cry in their beds.

I cry whenever I see a really sad film (Bambi still gets me).
Reply 2
Guys can cry as much as they like in secret, at films, about their problems, etc. But the only acceptable time to cry in public is when someone dies (no, not when your team gets relegated, get a grip). And no, sexuality doesn't affect emotional-ness.

(in my opinion)
Reply 3
Of course men can cry if they feel the need - if they restrain themselves they are merely victims of social pressure. Men may tend to cry less, which is fair enough, but there's little need to restrain it any more than a woman - the only reasons for restraining crying would apply to both sexes in most cases. I will cry at a sad film, when I'm on my own, etc...and when I got rejected from Oxford...:frown: However for some men, social pressures or events in their lives have restrained their emotions so much that their only outlet is the "acceptable" form of emotional outburst which is anger, which tends to explain why insecure and depressed men can sometimes turn out to be violent.
Why ask "what should we cry about?". Most of the time you don't 'choose' to cry - it happens, there is only a certain extent to which you can restrain it, but if there is no valid reason other than your pride not to show your emotions, then why restrain it?
Reply 4
If a guy decides to cry, regardless of what society says is "acceptable" to cry at, then he should cry. Crying is a good way to release any pent up stress and frustration and it can make you feel better afterwards. In general, society says that men should only cry at certain things such as death, but no one should force themselves not to cry just because society says so.
By saying men shouldn't cry and that sexuality doesn't affect emotional-ness suggest guys should be mentally stronger than the opposite sex. Which can be viewed as quite sexist.
And personally, i think guys can cry when and where they choose to. I would be quite put off by a guy who think they shouldn't cry.
grave_dreams
I would be quite put off by a guy who think they shouldn't cry.


:ditto: I see guys crying as showing off their sensitive side, so unless they were crying over something really stupid then a guy crying wouldn't bother me. Guys have as much right to cry as girls do.
Reply 7
Of course guys should feel ok about crying! It shows you're sensitive and in touch with your emotions and thats a good thing. It is also necessary as it is not good to repress things, it is better to let them out. I think its mostly other men if anyone, that think that men shouldn't cry, because I don't know any women that think that a man shouldn't cry.
Reply 8
i havent cried since i was 8 and my grandparents went abroad on holiday, i wanted to go with them :biggrin: i find it very hard to cry, but i have this friend who cries at every opportunity, i find it kinda worrying sometimes, but shes a girl :rolleyes: heheheheheheh
Reply 9
if you feel the need to cry, dont be afraid to do so. crying is a normal emotional response. the boys that tell you it isnt have trouble expressing their feelings and subsequently criticise those who can.
My ex used to cry all the time. It wasnt good because I never cry so it really annoyed me when he did cry.
I spose everyones different.
Reply 11
I get quite emotional at time, sometimes over stupid things too. I don't think it's anything to do with sexuality; there's as much variance between different men and different women as with anything else; I'm sure there's plenty of girls who don't cry at much.

Ever seen Ripley from Alien cry? Point proven.
Reply 12
KingLeigh
I get quite emotional at time, sometimes over stupid things too. I don't think it's anything to do with sexuality; there's as much variance between different men and different women as with anything else; I'm sure there's plenty of girls who don't cry at much.

Ever seen Ripley from Alien cry? Point proven.


yes but ripley had aliens coming out of her stomach, without a c-section!
otherwise i totally agree :p:
Reply 13
I cry sometimes at sad parts in films/books. It's really a problem because I usually watch TV/read on my own. Crying about someone dying is also acceptable, but not many people around me have died lately so that hasn't come up.
Reply 14
I very rarely cry. Most of my male friends I think see it that men shouldn't cry and so don't, though my gay friend cries whenever he feels the need (invariably more than me).
Personally I don't cry though I know it's socially acceptable for me to do so. In the same way, I'm sure some men don't. My female friend cries a lot (stupid amounts) which irritates me, I suppose.
Some men, meanwhile, suppress their feelings so they don't cry, because they think it's unmanly. I don't know whether my gay friend is naturally more in touch with his emotions anyway, or whether he believes it's more socially acceptable to cry because he's gay.
I cried on my 18th birthday, giving my speech. :p:

Films, books and deaths is about as far as it stretches for me with one or two exceptions. I'm not a big crier really but I'm not going to deny that I haven't done it either.
I cry, but not over petty things like novels and films.
There's nothing wrong with guys crying. Personally, I don't cry (however the odd tear may come to my eye whilst watching very moving films), but I wouldn't be ashamed of it at all.
Reply 18
To quote from the great wisdom of my friend Phil:

"No burd's ever gonnae shag you if you cry a' the ****in' time"

It's true as well. As far as I'm concerned the only time a man can acceptably cry in public is if someone close dies, he gets a good firm kick to the nuts or for patriotic reasons.
Reply 19
Why shouldn't guys cry? There are a lot of socially unacceptable things that people shouldn't be doing, but still do. It's not as if all guys are on the same emotional level. The way a person is brought up contributes to how sensitive that person is. And I hardly see it as a crime to cry. Let people judge you, but don't let their judgments affect you. I mean, people are bound to have conflicting ideas. Hence, there isn't necessarily a right or wrong in this situation. It's up to you. You be your own judge.