oooooh dear (long) relationship

Ok, I have a biiiig prob. Might know who this is but it's more because I need advice and am worried.

Been seeing my current BF for 3 years. Always been weird, he was away at school as was I. Then he's away on a gap year, then uni Always been more of a friends-in-term-but-lovers-in-hols kind of thing. He's my best friend, I adore him, we get on great, v close etc. just 3 years when you're young I don't know.

We broke up for six months (rather, he dumped me), both saw other people (I didn't sleep with anyone and he said that he hadn't either, more head space really) I missed him so much, then on xmas eve he declared his undying once more, said sorry, try again. I was like, yes, yes, great fab.

Something wasn't, I don't know...Right for me, I don't know what, I'm just a bit unsure, now. Anyway, I was happy, content etc. Until today..

One of my really close boyfriends completely and utterly randomly kissed me. He's supposed to be going out with one of my friends (although they've only been together for a month) he apologised and said he'd been wanting to do it for a long time :confused:

I do like him, I would. I've never thought about it because he's always been my best friend, he is very good looking, he lives in Dubai (he's English, parents etc), he's rich, attractive, makes me laugh...Just we've always been friends! Hence the confusion.

What do I do? I've avoided him since it happened about 4ish, I don't want to go outside incase I see him! I don't know what to say, I don't want to make a prat of myself, quit with bf, say something to him if it's just one of those things. Then again, I just don't want to initiate THE conversation either about him and gf, him and me...Urgh.

Any ideas? Never had 'owt like this before!

Reply 1

Segat1

16

no idea. have a threeway. night!

Reply 2

flikkydoodles

Hmmm. You don't sound like you're happy with your boyfriend from that, and you're obviously not cause you posted this. If you're not completely sure whether or not you want to be with him then it's probably best to end it. As for the friend that kissed you, talk to him about it. You can't avoid him forever! Just tell him you're unsure of your feelings and if anything does happen, take it slow.

Reply 3

Leigh

15

flikkydoodles

Hmmm. You don't sound like you're happy with your boyfriend from that, and you're obviously not cause you posted this. If you're not completely sure whether or not you want to be with him then it's probably best to end it.

I disagree. After 3 months perhaps, but not 3 years; it's not just something you throw away because of a rough patch.
Ok, it may be a little more than that but I think it's worth fighting for, and even if it doesn't work out, as his long term girlfriend, and, like you said, best friend, I think you owe it to him not to start anything with another guy until you're properly broken up, if that's how it has to be.

I'd say talk to your other friend and tell him about the other guy, that things are kinda messy and that you don't need anything else on your plate right now; put him on hold without directly saying "wait here, I'll be back when I want you" because he won't like that.

Reply 4

awkward_eagle

1

If this guy is going out with one of your friends then don't be too hasty about rushing into anything with him. This could ruin your relationship with your friend, aswell as (obviously) your relationship with your boyfriend.

You describe both the guys concerned as your best friends... maybe it would be best to end things with your bf, especially as you say something's not right, and keep him as a friend, rather than jumping straight into a relationship with another guy and losing your boyfriend's friendship? (Sorry if that doesn't make sense!) If you decide to end things with your bf, then I'd say take some time out to think about what you really want. Don't rush into anything. Good luck whatever you do :smile:

Reply 5

Just to note, I use the term friend loosely, she's a bitch, she'd stab me in the back at any opportunity and it's giving me quite a bump as she hates my relationship with him (it was so platonic) and dislikes me. I get on with her, she's just snidey and bitchy - they're all aquaintances!

Some food for thought here, thanks, do carry on. I just had to clarify the friend issue!

Reply 6

El Scotto

15

Anonymous

One of my really close boyfriends completely and utterly randomly kissed me. He's supposed to be going out with one of my friends (although they've only been together for a month) Then again, I just don't want to initiate THE conversation either about him and gf, him and me...Urgh.

Any ideas? Never had 'owt like this before!

did you kiss him back? it takes two to kiss and if your avoiding him so you dont have to bring up about his gf it means ur thinking about him.

Sounds like you need another break from your longtermboyfriend, doesnt sound like its really what you want.

Reply 7

Tarts_n_Vicars

13

I wouldn't risk a 3 year relationship because the other guy is "rich and attractive". If they were the first two words I used to describe someone who was threatening a long term relationship with a guy I "adore" I'd be a bit wary. You do have a loose interpretation of the term "friend" if your bf and this other lad are your best friends and you're "friends" with the gf of this bloke.......but never mind because she's a cow really so it's ok you snogged her bf. Come on!

Reply 8

El Scotto

15

Anonymous

Just to note, I use the term friend loosely, she's a bitch, she'd stab me in the back at any opportunity and it's giving me quite a bump as she hates my relationship with him (it was so platonic) and dislikes me. I get on with her, she's just snidey and bitchy - they're all aquaintances!

Some food for thought here, thanks, do carry on. I just had to clarify the friend issue!

Didnt see this bit for the first time....

Sounds like YOU kissed him to get at his girlfriend that you didnt like.

Sounds like your the bitch to be honest. Though i'd use that term 'loosely'.

to get at her you've kissed ur mate?? now your conscious has kicked in and you're avoiding ur friend why you think about it. dont think you deserve either your boyfriend or your friend to be honest.

Reply 9

Noo, not like that at all.

The guy I've been best friends with for years, he literally is my best friend at school. Hence the unexpected, I know he doesn't really like the girl he's with as I quote 'She has sex appeal but she's not that pretty'. It's not a case of guilt over the girl, so no concious thing going on, it's more my concious over my BF. I wouldn't be seeing other guy because he's rich and attractive...I do LIKE him, I hadn't ever thought of him in that way, he's always just been my best friend and fit with it, but not in that way at all.

Kiss wasn't long, he kissed me and I kissed back, then I said stop and freaked out and walked out. I was avoiding him because I didn't know what to say, not because I felt guilty about her. Yes, in the grand scheme of things it would be a 'one over' her, but then on the other hand that's not what I want to do!

I spoke to him this morning, mega awkward. He said he wants to talk to me later on, so I'll see what he says :confused:

I do love my bf. But at the moment it's all very intense, I thought it was what I wanted but now I have it again I don't know if I do at all. I have a few months 'til I go to uni...I want to sort my head out, I couldn't do that before but now we're back together I realise I DO need headspace and I can't have him around in the way that we are.

oooooh dear (long) relationship

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