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Normal?
Hey, can I get some honest, BS-free input on what I'm about to write? Thanks.
This is about friends. For starters, I don't have many. Instead of a huge group of thrity or forty, it's more like a small handful of eight, at the most. The thing is, like I've said on previous posts on these forums, friendships, to me, are completely different from what they are for most people. I'm very introverted and prefer to keep to myself, so most of my interactions with friends come through chance encounters: chatting on instant messenger, seeing someone in a class and sitting next to him/her; seeing someone in the dining hall and eating a meal with him/her; saying 'hey' if and when we cross paths on this massive campus. I rarely go out with friends, and even then, it'll be for a few hours, perhaps to a movie, with only one or two other people. I don't know why, but I just prefer to keep to myself. I honestly think I'm able to keep myself company and manage to keep myself occupied or entertained most of the time, whether it's by doing work or just by relaxing and watching TV or a movie, listening to a music, reading, or just surfing the net. (Note: I don't do drugs, drink, etc. so don't think that I spend my free time getting stoned or drunk.)
I'll probably be more social once I graduate from college and get a job (in the UK of course!). I think it'll be easier for me to interact with colleagues since they'll be more mature and a lot like me.
So, tell me this. Does this seem normal to you? I mean, do you know other people like this? Do you think I should change? I don't know why, but I have this gut feeling that nobody approves of this lifestyle, not even my own parents.
Again, if you took the time out to actually read through this incoherent rant and reply, thank you.
This is about friends. For starters, I don't have many. Instead of a huge group of thrity or forty, it's more like a small handful of eight, at the most. The thing is, like I've said on previous posts on these forums, friendships, to me, are completely different from what they are for most people. I'm very introverted and prefer to keep to myself, so most of my interactions with friends come through chance encounters: chatting on instant messenger, seeing someone in a class and sitting next to him/her; seeing someone in the dining hall and eating a meal with him/her; saying 'hey' if and when we cross paths on this massive campus. I rarely go out with friends, and even then, it'll be for a few hours, perhaps to a movie, with only one or two other people. I don't know why, but I just prefer to keep to myself. I honestly think I'm able to keep myself company and manage to keep myself occupied or entertained most of the time, whether it's by doing work or just by relaxing and watching TV or a movie, listening to a music, reading, or just surfing the net. (Note: I don't do drugs, drink, etc. so don't think that I spend my free time getting stoned or drunk.)
I'll probably be more social once I graduate from college and get a job (in the UK of course!). I think it'll be easier for me to interact with colleagues since they'll be more mature and a lot like me.
So, tell me this. Does this seem normal to you? I mean, do you know other people like this? Do you think I should change? I don't know why, but I have this gut feeling that nobody approves of this lifestyle, not even my own parents.
Again, if you took the time out to actually read through this incoherent rant and reply, thank you.
Scroll to see replies
Who cares whats normal and whats not. ultimately there isnt really any normal. for instance i have a very active social life, but then like nothing more than to sit alone for hours on end in sheer solitude, its part of who i am. if this way of life is enough to keep u happy then dont change.
firstly i dont think that you should consider changing your lifestlyejust for the sake of what others think is normal. if your happy then u dont need to do anything. but i cant imagine that u are completely content otherwise u wouldnt have posted this. if your not happy then u did say u had friends u talk to on pretty much a day to day basis theres no reason why u couldnt go out with them once in a while even if its just to stop work drowning u.
i know what u mean about having time to yourself and chilling out and stuff sometimes i do that too. but also a heathly balence is... well healthy, going out tends to break the tedious routines of doing work etc. and i dont think it would do any harm.
but there are plenty of introvert people out there and if ur one of them i dont see a problem with that at all as long as your happy, so yeah seems pretty normal to me. i dont think u should change 4 anyone except yourself, and u dont live with your parents, and if u think they're concerned its probably cus they think ur not happy maybe reassure them that u are and put their minds at ease.
i know what u mean about having time to yourself and chilling out and stuff sometimes i do that too. but also a heathly balence is... well healthy, going out tends to break the tedious routines of doing work etc. and i dont think it would do any harm.
but there are plenty of introvert people out there and if ur one of them i dont see a problem with that at all as long as your happy, so yeah seems pretty normal to me. i dont think u should change 4 anyone except yourself, and u dont live with your parents, and if u think they're concerned its probably cus they think ur not happy maybe reassure them that u are and put their minds at ease.
svdesi, you are actually doing whats probably best, not being tied down by close-knit friendship groups, playing by your own rules, not getting involved in peer pressure etc.
you have more time to concentrate on more important things and will probably do fantastically in your exams this year, so, good on you! xx
you have more time to concentrate on more important things and will probably do fantastically in your exams this year, so, good on you! xx
svdesi
Hey, can I get some honest, BS-free input on what I'm about to write? Thanks.
This is about friends. For starters, I don't have many. Instead of a huge group of thrity or forty, it's more like a small handful of eight, at the most. The thing is, like I've said on previous posts on these forums, friendships, to me, are completely different from what they are for most people. I'm very introverted and prefer to keep to myself, so most of my interactions with friends come through chance encounters: chatting on instant messenger, seeing someone in a class and sitting next to him/her; seeing someone in the dining hall and eating a meal with him/her; saying 'hey' if and when we cross paths on this massive campus. I rarely go out with friends, and even then, it'll be for a few hours, perhaps to a movie, with only one or two other people. I don't know why, but I just prefer to keep to myself. I honestly think I'm able to keep myself company and manage to keep myself occupied or entertained most of the time, whether it's by doing work or just by relaxing and watching TV or a movie, listening to a music, reading, or just surfing the net. (Note: I don't do drugs, drink, etc. so don't think that I spend my free time getting stoned or drunk.)
I'll probably be more social once I graduate from college and get a job (in the UK of course!). I think it'll be easier for me to interact with colleagues since they'll be more mature and a lot like me.
So, tell me this. Does this seem normal to you? I mean, do you know other people like this? Do you think I should change? I don't know why, but I have this gut feeling that nobody approves of this lifestyle, not even my own parents.
Again, if you took the time out to actually read through this incoherent rant and reply, thank you.
This is about friends. For starters, I don't have many. Instead of a huge group of thrity or forty, it's more like a small handful of eight, at the most. The thing is, like I've said on previous posts on these forums, friendships, to me, are completely different from what they are for most people. I'm very introverted and prefer to keep to myself, so most of my interactions with friends come through chance encounters: chatting on instant messenger, seeing someone in a class and sitting next to him/her; seeing someone in the dining hall and eating a meal with him/her; saying 'hey' if and when we cross paths on this massive campus. I rarely go out with friends, and even then, it'll be for a few hours, perhaps to a movie, with only one or two other people. I don't know why, but I just prefer to keep to myself. I honestly think I'm able to keep myself company and manage to keep myself occupied or entertained most of the time, whether it's by doing work or just by relaxing and watching TV or a movie, listening to a music, reading, or just surfing the net. (Note: I don't do drugs, drink, etc. so don't think that I spend my free time getting stoned or drunk.)
I'll probably be more social once I graduate from college and get a job (in the UK of course!). I think it'll be easier for me to interact with colleagues since they'll be more mature and a lot like me.
So, tell me this. Does this seem normal to you? I mean, do you know other people like this? Do you think I should change? I don't know why, but I have this gut feeling that nobody approves of this lifestyle, not even my own parents.
Again, if you took the time out to actually read through this incoherent rant and reply, thank you.
I prefer my own company. It's relaxing and stress free. I'm usually on edge or nervous etc around other people. Am I normal? If I'm not then I don't want to be :P
I don't have a problem with who I am. Some other people do though...
svdesi
Hey, can I get some honest, BS-free input on what I'm about to write? Thanks.
This is about friends. For starters, I don't have many. Instead of a huge group of thrity or forty, it's more like a small handful of eight, at the most. The thing is, like I've said on previous posts on these forums, friendships, to me, are completely different from what they are for most people. I'm very introverted and prefer to keep to myself, so most of my interactions with friends come through chance encounters: chatting on instant messenger, seeing someone in a class and sitting next to him/her; seeing someone in the dining hall and eating a meal with him/her; saying 'hey' if and when we cross paths on this massive campus. I rarely go out with friends, and even then, it'll be for a few hours, perhaps to a movie, with only one or two other people. I don't know why, but I just prefer to keep to myself. I honestly think I'm able to keep myself company and manage to keep myself occupied or entertained most of the time, whether it's by doing work or just by relaxing and watching TV or a movie, listening to a music, reading, or just surfing the net. (Note: I don't do drugs, drink, etc. so don't think that I spend my free time getting stoned or drunk.)
I'll probably be more social once I graduate from college and get a job (in the UK of course!). I think it'll be easier for me to interact with colleagues since they'll be more mature and a lot like me.
So, tell me this. Does this seem normal to you? I mean, do you know other people like this? Do you think I should change? I don't know why, but I have this gut feeling that nobody approves of this lifestyle, not even my own parents.
Again, if you took the time out to actually read through this incoherent rant and reply, thank you.
This is about friends. For starters, I don't have many. Instead of a huge group of thrity or forty, it's more like a small handful of eight, at the most. The thing is, like I've said on previous posts on these forums, friendships, to me, are completely different from what they are for most people. I'm very introverted and prefer to keep to myself, so most of my interactions with friends come through chance encounters: chatting on instant messenger, seeing someone in a class and sitting next to him/her; seeing someone in the dining hall and eating a meal with him/her; saying 'hey' if and when we cross paths on this massive campus. I rarely go out with friends, and even then, it'll be for a few hours, perhaps to a movie, with only one or two other people. I don't know why, but I just prefer to keep to myself. I honestly think I'm able to keep myself company and manage to keep myself occupied or entertained most of the time, whether it's by doing work or just by relaxing and watching TV or a movie, listening to a music, reading, or just surfing the net. (Note: I don't do drugs, drink, etc. so don't think that I spend my free time getting stoned or drunk.)
I'll probably be more social once I graduate from college and get a job (in the UK of course!). I think it'll be easier for me to interact with colleagues since they'll be more mature and a lot like me.
So, tell me this. Does this seem normal to you? I mean, do you know other people like this? Do you think I should change? I don't know why, but I have this gut feeling that nobody approves of this lifestyle, not even my own parents.
Again, if you took the time out to actually read through this incoherent rant and reply, thank you.
What is 'normal', anyway? I am certainly not- how boring would that be? Just be yourself, nobody cares whether your normal or not. Just be happy and confident in who you are. It's a lot more fun.
svdesi
Hey, can I get some honest, BS-free input on what I'm about to write? Thanks.
This is about friends. For starters, I don't have many. Instead of a huge group of thrity or forty, it's more like a small handful of eight, at the most. The thing is, like I've said on previous posts on these forums, friendships, to me, are completely different from what they are for most people. I'm very introverted and prefer to keep to myself, so most of my interactions with friends come through chance encounters: chatting on instant messenger, seeing someone in a class and sitting next to him/her; seeing someone in the dining hall and eating a meal with him/her; saying 'hey' if and when we cross paths on this massive campus. I rarely go out with friends, and even then, it'll be for a few hours, perhaps to a movie, with only one or two other people. I don't know why, but I just prefer to keep to myself. I honestly think I'm able to keep myself company and manage to keep myself occupied or entertained most of the time, whether it's by doing work or just by relaxing and watching TV or a movie, listening to a music, reading, or just surfing the net. (Note: I don't do drugs, drink, etc. so don't think that I spend my free time getting stoned or drunk.)
I'll probably be more social once I graduate from college and get a job (in the UK of course!). I think it'll be easier for me to interact with colleagues since they'll be more mature and a lot like me.
So, tell me this. Does this seem normal to you? I mean, do you know other people like this? Do you think I should change? I don't know why, but I have this gut feeling that nobody approves of this lifestyle, not even my own parents.
Again, if you took the time out to actually read through this incoherent rant and reply, thank you.
This is about friends. For starters, I don't have many. Instead of a huge group of thrity or forty, it's more like a small handful of eight, at the most. The thing is, like I've said on previous posts on these forums, friendships, to me, are completely different from what they are for most people. I'm very introverted and prefer to keep to myself, so most of my interactions with friends come through chance encounters: chatting on instant messenger, seeing someone in a class and sitting next to him/her; seeing someone in the dining hall and eating a meal with him/her; saying 'hey' if and when we cross paths on this massive campus. I rarely go out with friends, and even then, it'll be for a few hours, perhaps to a movie, with only one or two other people. I don't know why, but I just prefer to keep to myself. I honestly think I'm able to keep myself company and manage to keep myself occupied or entertained most of the time, whether it's by doing work or just by relaxing and watching TV or a movie, listening to a music, reading, or just surfing the net. (Note: I don't do drugs, drink, etc. so don't think that I spend my free time getting stoned or drunk.)
I'll probably be more social once I graduate from college and get a job (in the UK of course!). I think it'll be easier for me to interact with colleagues since they'll be more mature and a lot like me.
So, tell me this. Does this seem normal to you? I mean, do you know other people like this? Do you think I should change? I don't know why, but I have this gut feeling that nobody approves of this lifestyle, not even my own parents.
Again, if you took the time out to actually read through this incoherent rant and reply, thank you.
My lifestyle is exactly the same - I would certainly not call it abnormal, but I wouldn't care what "normal" is anyway. It seems that you hold great value with true friendships - those you see that have "thirty or forty friends", can often have great insecurity masked by extrovertness and a need for popularity. They often don't share true friendships - you really can count your best friends on your fingers, and normally you are very lucky to get more than one hand. I mean you REAL best friends, the one's you'll have all your life, with whom you are totally confident and will stay by your side when it truly matters.
very normal 
It doesn't matter if it's normal, only if you're happy with it. If you;re happy keep doing it, if not, change it. It's not up to anyone else.
I have a pretty active social life and a lot of friends, but then on the other hand I can understand where you're coming from as sometimes I can spend a long time alone (days, even, with absolutely no contact with other people) and be completely content, but then at other times I like to have plenty of people around.
I have a pretty active social life and a lot of friends, but then on the other hand I can understand where you're coming from as sometimes I can spend a long time alone (days, even, with absolutely no contact with other people) and be completely content, but then at other times I like to have plenty of people around.
svdesi
Hey, can I get some honest, BS-free input on what I'm about to write? Thanks.
This is about friends. For starters, I don't have many. Instead of a huge group of thrity or forty, it's more like a small handful of eight, at the most. The thing is, like I've said on previous posts on these forums, friendships, to me, are completely different from what they are for most people. I'm very introverted and prefer to keep to myself, so most of my interactions with friends come through chance encounters: chatting on instant messenger, seeing someone in a class and sitting next to him/her; seeing someone in the dining hall and eating a meal with him/her; saying 'hey' if and when we cross paths on this massive campus. I rarely go out with friends, and even then, it'll be for a few hours, perhaps to a movie, with only one or two other people. I don't know why, but I just prefer to keep to myself. I honestly think I'm able to keep myself company and manage to keep myself occupied or entertained most of the time, whether it's by doing work or just by relaxing and watching TV or a movie, listening to a music, reading, or just surfing the net. (Note: I don't do drugs, drink, etc. so don't think that I spend my free time getting stoned or drunk.)
I'll probably be more social once I graduate from college and get a job (in the UK of course!). I think it'll be easier for me to interact with colleagues since they'll be more mature and a lot like me.
So, tell me this. Does this seem normal to you? I mean, do you know other people like this? Do you think I should change? I don't know why, but I have this gut feeling that nobody approves of this lifestyle, not even my own parents.
Again, if you took the time out to actually read through this incoherent rant and reply, thank you.
This is about friends. For starters, I don't have many. Instead of a huge group of thrity or forty, it's more like a small handful of eight, at the most. The thing is, like I've said on previous posts on these forums, friendships, to me, are completely different from what they are for most people. I'm very introverted and prefer to keep to myself, so most of my interactions with friends come through chance encounters: chatting on instant messenger, seeing someone in a class and sitting next to him/her; seeing someone in the dining hall and eating a meal with him/her; saying 'hey' if and when we cross paths on this massive campus. I rarely go out with friends, and even then, it'll be for a few hours, perhaps to a movie, with only one or two other people. I don't know why, but I just prefer to keep to myself. I honestly think I'm able to keep myself company and manage to keep myself occupied or entertained most of the time, whether it's by doing work or just by relaxing and watching TV or a movie, listening to a music, reading, or just surfing the net. (Note: I don't do drugs, drink, etc. so don't think that I spend my free time getting stoned or drunk.)
I'll probably be more social once I graduate from college and get a job (in the UK of course!). I think it'll be easier for me to interact with colleagues since they'll be more mature and a lot like me.
So, tell me this. Does this seem normal to you? I mean, do you know other people like this? Do you think I should change? I don't know why, but I have this gut feeling that nobody approves of this lifestyle, not even my own parents.
Again, if you took the time out to actually read through this incoherent rant and reply, thank you.
If you're happy who cares what anyone else thinks?
I'm in exactly the same boat as you 
You sound perfectly normal to me. Because I'm still at school (and it's a boarding school, my friends live ages away, and generally, I stay at home in the weekends as I have to be at school on Saturday, so Sunday is the only lie in day and I don't want a hang over as I normally have work to do), but, during the evenings, there are often club nights at school which are good- cheesy bop style things. Regarding friends, i'd say i have about 20 that I'm really good friends with, perhaps 15 excellent ones, but due to living different places, meeting together is difficult. I guess it'll get better at Uni- but don't worry, you're perfectly 'normal'- if you can categorize people into such a thing.
I don't see much wrong with it.
I probably have fewer than 8 close friends. Unlike many people I know, I'm not great at starting or holding conversations with people I don't know/aren't close to. Even at college, if I'm on my own, I'll often find a table for myself instead of sit with class mates. No real reason for it, they'd be fine with me sitting with them, I just don't.
I enjoy going out, but in moderation. I probably go out 1/3 of the times my other friends do. I much prefer sitting in relaxing (may say more about my friends choice of social activities than my personal standings though).
It sounds just fine to me, nothing abnormal there to be concerned with. Even if it wasn't as long as it's how you like it, there's nothing to worry about; please yourself, then others.
I probably have fewer than 8 close friends. Unlike many people I know, I'm not great at starting or holding conversations with people I don't know/aren't close to. Even at college, if I'm on my own, I'll often find a table for myself instead of sit with class mates. No real reason for it, they'd be fine with me sitting with them, I just don't.
I enjoy going out, but in moderation. I probably go out 1/3 of the times my other friends do. I much prefer sitting in relaxing (may say more about my friends choice of social activities than my personal standings though).
It sounds just fine to me, nothing abnormal there to be concerned with. Even if it wasn't as long as it's how you like it, there's nothing to worry about; please yourself, then others.
That sounds great. 8 friends is a lot imo 
i only have one that i 'hang around' with, and around 3 or so aquaintances. (and i'm 16- the steroetypical age to go out with countless friends clubbing or what ever else that they do). there is definitly a social norm but trying to change your personality to suit it is just silly. But you don't have to worry about that as imo, as you are probably considered 'normal' anyway. Most people i know are just like you as you described.
Socially, i'm very similar, i can't remember going anywhere with more than one person in the last 2 years, and if i were to regularly i would feel quite uncomfortable and cramped. Like you said, i personally prefer to be by myself the majority of the time, reading, listening to music etc. sometimes even being surrounded by too many people (on the streets etc) make my mind very crowded as if it's taking something away from me. I think people just have differnt personality types, and you can't change that- people can develope from an extrovert into an introvert or vice versa over time, but it's not something you can willingly change in an instant. So my advise is not to worry about it and just do what you feel comfortable.
i only have one that i 'hang around' with, and around 3 or so aquaintances. (and i'm 16- the steroetypical age to go out with countless friends clubbing or what ever else that they do). there is definitly a social norm but trying to change your personality to suit it is just silly. But you don't have to worry about that as imo, as you are probably considered 'normal' anyway. Most people i know are just like you as you described. Socially, i'm very similar, i can't remember going anywhere with more than one person in the last 2 years, and if i were to regularly i would feel quite uncomfortable and cramped. Like you said, i personally prefer to be by myself the majority of the time, reading, listening to music etc. sometimes even being surrounded by too many people (on the streets etc) make my mind very crowded as if it's taking something away from me. I think people just have differnt personality types, and you can't change that- people can develope from an extrovert into an introvert or vice versa over time, but it's not something you can willingly change in an instant. So my advise is not to worry about it and just do what you feel comfortable.
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