Friendships with ex-teachers
Does anyone have any experiences of becoming friends with teachers after leaving school?
I left school this year and one of my former teachers and me have always been quite close. We had a lot of banter in classes and people always said that she favoured me and loved me. I guess most people out there think that's weird, but for me, it's just a friendship with someone a bit older than you. I think she's 27, and I'm about to turn 19. In terms of my feelings.. I adore her. I see her as like a mum-figure in a way, but also as a close friend. But I'm not sure she feels the same. Obviously she's really busy, her job is manic. I have her email and she tells me I can always email her. But she's never given me her number or suggested we meet up outside of a school environment. Although I went into school yesterday to talk to her, she's never suggested meeting up elsewhere. I'm going to uni at the start of October and obviously want to keep in touch with her. But I get the feeling she's not as willing. I'm sure she's happy emailing but I don't think she'd want to particularly see me in person often as such, aside from maybe visiting in school.
I don't really know what to do. I'm pretty needy and have various emotional problems which she knows about, but I wish we were on an actual 'friends' level where we could text or something. She's asked me for my number on a couple of occasions as she suggested calling me when I've been upset, but she won't offer me her number back. There's still that element of awkwardness, even though she knows a lot of personal stuff about me and gives me a ton of hugs and praise and stuff. I desperately want to keep in touch and maybe have more contact with her but worried she'd be creeped out and not want to. (Btw I've searched for her on facebook and can't find her. Think she used to have a profile but I can't find it now.)
Anyway, I'm rambling... but she's the kind of person I wish I was best friends with, but at the same time I feel the need to be looked after by her? We don't just talk about my problems though. Yesterday we had a great conversation just about normal things, our lives, things we liked etc. So yeah. Could anyone share any experiences/advice on this topic?
I left school this year and one of my former teachers and me have always been quite close. We had a lot of banter in classes and people always said that she favoured me and loved me. I guess most people out there think that's weird, but for me, it's just a friendship with someone a bit older than you. I think she's 27, and I'm about to turn 19. In terms of my feelings.. I adore her. I see her as like a mum-figure in a way, but also as a close friend. But I'm not sure she feels the same. Obviously she's really busy, her job is manic. I have her email and she tells me I can always email her. But she's never given me her number or suggested we meet up outside of a school environment. Although I went into school yesterday to talk to her, she's never suggested meeting up elsewhere. I'm going to uni at the start of October and obviously want to keep in touch with her. But I get the feeling she's not as willing. I'm sure she's happy emailing but I don't think she'd want to particularly see me in person often as such, aside from maybe visiting in school.
I don't really know what to do. I'm pretty needy and have various emotional problems which she knows about, but I wish we were on an actual 'friends' level where we could text or something. She's asked me for my number on a couple of occasions as she suggested calling me when I've been upset, but she won't offer me her number back. There's still that element of awkwardness, even though she knows a lot of personal stuff about me and gives me a ton of hugs and praise and stuff. I desperately want to keep in touch and maybe have more contact with her but worried she'd be creeped out and not want to. (Btw I've searched for her on facebook and can't find her. Think she used to have a profile but I can't find it now.)
Anyway, I'm rambling... but she's the kind of person I wish I was best friends with, but at the same time I feel the need to be looked after by her? We don't just talk about my problems though. Yesterday we had a great conversation just about normal things, our lives, things we liked etc. So yeah. Could anyone share any experiences/advice on this topic?
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Well I friended my ex-maths teacher for A levels......she was pretty hot, she's married now 
i tried but his wife got reeeeeeally suspicious...
i don't think there is anything wrong w/ it
i don't think there is anything wrong w/ it
Original post by Nana_A
Are you male/female?
Female.
Thanks, I think when I come back and visit from uni I might suggest meeting up somewhere outside of school and see how it goes 
I'm very good friends with one of my ex teachers, we speak for hours every night.
Original post by littledreams
Does anyone have any experiences of becoming friends with teachers after leaving school?
I left school this year and one of my former teachers and me have always been quite close. We had a lot of banter in classes and people always said that she favoured me and loved me. I guess most people out there think that's weird, but for me, it's just a friendship with someone a bit older than you. I think she's 27, and I'm about to turn 19. In terms of my feelings.. I adore her. I see her as like a mum-figure in a way, but also as a close friend. But I'm not sure she feels the same. Obviously she's really busy, her job is manic. I have her email and she tells me I can always email her. But she's never given me her number or suggested we meet up outside of a school environment. Although I went into school yesterday to talk to her, she's never suggested meeting up elsewhere. I'm going to uni at the start of October and obviously want to keep in touch with her. But I get the feeling she's not as willing. I'm sure she's happy emailing but I don't think she'd want to particularly see me in person often as such, aside from maybe visiting in school.
I don't really know what to do. I'm pretty needy and have various emotional problems which she knows about, but I wish we were on an actual 'friends' level where we could text or something. She's asked me for my number on a couple of occasions as she suggested calling me when I've been upset, but she won't offer me her number back. There's still that element of awkwardness, even though she knows a lot of personal stuff about me and gives me a ton of hugs and praise and stuff. I desperately want to keep in touch and maybe have more contact with her but worried she'd be creeped out and not want to. (Btw I've searched for her on facebook and can't find her. Think she used to have a profile but I can't find it now.)
Anyway, I'm rambling... but she's the kind of person I wish I was best friends with, but at the same time I feel the need to be looked after by her? We don't just talk about my problems though. Yesterday we had a great conversation just about normal things, our lives, things we liked etc. So yeah. Could anyone share any experiences/advice on this topic?
I left school this year and one of my former teachers and me have always been quite close. We had a lot of banter in classes and people always said that she favoured me and loved me. I guess most people out there think that's weird, but for me, it's just a friendship with someone a bit older than you. I think she's 27, and I'm about to turn 19. In terms of my feelings.. I adore her. I see her as like a mum-figure in a way, but also as a close friend. But I'm not sure she feels the same. Obviously she's really busy, her job is manic. I have her email and she tells me I can always email her. But she's never given me her number or suggested we meet up outside of a school environment. Although I went into school yesterday to talk to her, she's never suggested meeting up elsewhere. I'm going to uni at the start of October and obviously want to keep in touch with her. But I get the feeling she's not as willing. I'm sure she's happy emailing but I don't think she'd want to particularly see me in person often as such, aside from maybe visiting in school.
I don't really know what to do. I'm pretty needy and have various emotional problems which she knows about, but I wish we were on an actual 'friends' level where we could text or something. She's asked me for my number on a couple of occasions as she suggested calling me when I've been upset, but she won't offer me her number back. There's still that element of awkwardness, even though she knows a lot of personal stuff about me and gives me a ton of hugs and praise and stuff. I desperately want to keep in touch and maybe have more contact with her but worried she'd be creeped out and not want to. (Btw I've searched for her on facebook and can't find her. Think she used to have a profile but I can't find it now.)
Anyway, I'm rambling... but she's the kind of person I wish I was best friends with, but at the same time I feel the need to be looked after by her? We don't just talk about my problems though. Yesterday we had a great conversation just about normal things, our lives, things we liked etc. So yeah. Could anyone share any experiences/advice on this topic?
If she doesn't mind you emailing her then go ahead and send her a message. You never know where the friendship could go from there. She likes you enough to suggest it in the first place so that's a good sign.
I experienced something similar a few years ago so pm me if you want to talk further. x
Just keep in touch and maybe a bit further into the term, once there's been a bit more space between you, ask her whether you could go for coffee or something.
Do be careful though. Wouldn't want you getting let down by her, especially if you're quite emotionally attached to her
Do be careful though. Wouldn't want you getting let down by her, especially if you're quite emotionally attached to her
The age gap is fine, you're both female, so I can't see a problem.
However, both my parents are teachers, and they have been disuaded from befriending students, simply because it can put the teacher in a vulnerable position. This may have something to do with it. However, she did ask for your number and you seem to get on well. I would say don't invade her personal space if she doesn't want you to, but do keep in touch casually.
However, both my parents are teachers, and they have been disuaded from befriending students, simply because it can put the teacher in a vulnerable position. This may have something to do with it. However, she did ask for your number and you seem to get on well. I would say don't invade her personal space if she doesn't want you to, but do keep in touch casually.
Original post by littledreams
Does anyone have any experiences of becoming friends with teachers after leaving school?
I left school this year and one of my former teachers and me have always been quite close. We had a lot of banter in classes and people always said that she favoured me and loved me. I guess most people out there think that's weird, but for me, it's just a friendship with someone a bit older than you. I think she's 27, and I'm about to turn 19. In terms of my feelings.. I adore her. I see her as like a mum-figure in a way, but also as a close friend. But I'm not sure she feels the same. Obviously she's really busy, her job is manic. I have her email and she tells me I can always email her. But she's never given me her number or suggested we meet up outside of a school environment. Although I went into school yesterday to talk to her, she's never suggested meeting up elsewhere. I'm going to uni at the start of October and obviously want to keep in touch with her. But I get the feeling she's not as willing. I'm sure she's happy emailing but I don't think she'd want to particularly see me in person often as such, aside from maybe visiting in school.
I don't really know what to do. I'm pretty needy and have various emotional problems which she knows about, but I wish we were on an actual 'friends' level where we could text or something. She's asked me for my number on a couple of occasions as she suggested calling me when I've been upset, but she won't offer me her number back. There's still that element of awkwardness, even though she knows a lot of personal stuff about me and gives me a ton of hugs and praise and stuff. I desperately want to keep in touch and maybe have more contact with her but worried she'd be creeped out and not want to. (Btw I've searched for her on facebook and can't find her. Think she used to have a profile but I can't find it now.)
Anyway, I'm rambling... but she's the kind of person I wish I was best friends with, but at the same time I feel the need to be looked after by her? We don't just talk about my problems though. Yesterday we had a great conversation just about normal things, our lives, things we liked etc. So yeah. Could anyone share any experiences/advice on this topic?
I left school this year and one of my former teachers and me have always been quite close. We had a lot of banter in classes and people always said that she favoured me and loved me. I guess most people out there think that's weird, but for me, it's just a friendship with someone a bit older than you. I think she's 27, and I'm about to turn 19. In terms of my feelings.. I adore her. I see her as like a mum-figure in a way, but also as a close friend. But I'm not sure she feels the same. Obviously she's really busy, her job is manic. I have her email and she tells me I can always email her. But she's never given me her number or suggested we meet up outside of a school environment. Although I went into school yesterday to talk to her, she's never suggested meeting up elsewhere. I'm going to uni at the start of October and obviously want to keep in touch with her. But I get the feeling she's not as willing. I'm sure she's happy emailing but I don't think she'd want to particularly see me in person often as such, aside from maybe visiting in school.
I don't really know what to do. I'm pretty needy and have various emotional problems which she knows about, but I wish we were on an actual 'friends' level where we could text or something. She's asked me for my number on a couple of occasions as she suggested calling me when I've been upset, but she won't offer me her number back. There's still that element of awkwardness, even though she knows a lot of personal stuff about me and gives me a ton of hugs and praise and stuff. I desperately want to keep in touch and maybe have more contact with her but worried she'd be creeped out and not want to. (Btw I've searched for her on facebook and can't find her. Think she used to have a profile but I can't find it now.)
Anyway, I'm rambling... but she's the kind of person I wish I was best friends with, but at the same time I feel the need to be looked after by her? We don't just talk about my problems though. Yesterday we had a great conversation just about normal things, our lives, things we liked etc. So yeah. Could anyone share any experiences/advice on this topic?
I've stayed in touch with a couple of my teachers, who taught me right through school and then in sixth form. I'm quite close to one of them - who I see (as you said) as a mother figure. We keep in touch via e-mail and we meet up occasionally when I'm back in my home town. She taught me for years and it's lovely to know she's still interested in how I'm getting on - and since I continued with her subject as well.
She'll probably be flattered that you want to stay in touch and not sever all ties with school
And like you said - she said she wants you to e-mail her. I think maybe there will be some awkwardness because she won't want to push it. She won't want you to think that you have to e-mail her regularly, or you have to keep in touch with her. She probably sees herself too old and boring (she is a teacher after all
- joke) for you to want to have a friendship.Just see how it goes - send her the odd e-mail, suggest meeting up for a coffee at christmas to tell her all about how uni's going. I really think she'd like to know how you get on.
Original post by rachel.h
I've stayed in touch with a couple of my teachers, who taught me right through school and then in sixth form. I'm quite close to one of them - who I see (as you said) as a mother figure. We keep in touch via e-mail and we meet up occasionally when I'm back in my home town. She taught me for years and it's lovely to know she's still interested in how I'm getting on - and since I continued with her subject as well.
She'll probably be flattered that you want to stay in touch and not sever all ties with school And like you said - she said she wants you to e-mail her. I think maybe there will be some awkwardness because she won't want to push it. She won't want you to think that you have to e-mail her regularly, or you have to keep in touch with her. She probably sees herself too old and boring (she is a teacher after all - joke) for you to want to have a friendship.
Just see how it goes - send her the odd e-mail, suggest meeting up for a coffee at christmas to tell her all about how uni's going. I really think she'd like to know how you get on.
She'll probably be flattered that you want to stay in touch and not sever all ties with school
And like you said - she said she wants you to e-mail her. I think maybe there will be some awkwardness because she won't want to push it. She won't want you to think that you have to e-mail her regularly, or you have to keep in touch with her. She probably sees herself too old and boring (she is a teacher after all - joke) for you to want to have a friendship.Just see how it goes - send her the odd e-mail, suggest meeting up for a coffee at christmas to tell her all about how uni's going. I really think she'd like to know how you get on.
Thank you! Sounds like we have a similar situation. I'm glad you've had a good experience
I don't think she thinks that I feel I HAVE to email her though - if anything I email/bother her too often! But I guess if she was annoyed she wouldn't still tell me to email her if I needed. Thanks a lot for your advice 
I am about to start my second year of uni and recently I have been bumping into an ex-teacher literally everywhere. I first saw him outside a pub in June - he was with a woman (I assume his wife, perhaps?) we acknowledged each other (through a nod/smile) but I couldn't help but notice the way he kept staring me up and down/looking at my legs. It was extremely awkward and a bit weird, moreso because of the fact that he used to be my teacher at school. 
Well, we've 'bumped into each other' three or four times since then but I've ignored/blanked him. Should I talk to him? I really don't feel like reminiscing on my school days, to be honest. I cringe whenever I see him, I wish he would go away! :/
Well, we've 'bumped into each other' three or four times since then but I've ignored/blanked him. Should I talk to him? I really don't feel like reminiscing on my school days, to be honest. I cringe whenever I see him, I wish he would go away! :/Original post by hashman90
never gonna work, spare your feelings mate srs..
If you read the thread properly you'd see that OP sees her ex teacher as a mother figure i.e doesn't want a romantic relationship with her.
Original post by animalnitrate
If you read the thread properly you'd see that OP sees her ex teacher as a mother figure i.e doesn't want a romantic relationship with her.
Indeed. Thank you!
tbh if this teacher was someone you would be friends with if you hadn't of met in school i see no problem- i haven't left yet but i intend to keep in contact with a few of my teachers when i go, as long as your both comfortable it should be fine x
Original post by littledreams
Indeed. Thank you!
Do try not to get too attached to her. If something goes wrong, you end up like me (i.e. a mess)
Generally sounds positive though, which is great Quick Reply
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