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    Oki girls (and guys i guess).......whats your opinion on this........
    What if you know this guy...very witty,funny,gorgeous and has a great personality in general...except one problem...he wants 'more' (but not all the way). Would you give it to him to keep him interested?Or does his demands show he's doesn't actually like you for you but just cos you are there?
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    Don't do it just because he wants you to, but don't write him off as only interested in you for one thing right away. Tell him you don't want to, and he might accept that and be happy.
    Good luck!
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    (Original post by angelzland)
    Oki girls (and guys i guess).......whats your opinion on this........
    What if you know this guy...very witty,funny,gorgeous and has a great personality in general...except one problem...he wants 'more' (but not all the way). Would you give it to him to keep him interested?Or does his demands show he's doesn't actually like you for you but just cos you are there?

    You don't sound 100% comfortable with the idea...I would advice you not to do anything unless you want to and not merely because he wants it...
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    (Original post by angelzland)
    Oki girls (and guys i guess).......whats your opinion on this........
    What if you know this guy...very witty,funny,gorgeous and has a great personality in general...except one problem...he wants 'more' (but not all the way). Would you give it to him to keep him interested?Or does his demands show he's doesn't actually like you for you but just cos you are there?
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    we have talked about it...he's not interested unless we do more than pulling (not sex tho) yet he claims to like me? But surely when you past 18 one has to expect guys to ask for more than pulling (thats sumthing you did when you were 12 rite?). Its not that i have anything against going further its just that i am a bit insecure about myself (any other girls been in the same situation when it comes to insecurity?)
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    How long have you been going out? How old are you?
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    (Original post by angelzland)
    we have talked about it...he's not interested unless we do more than pulling (not sex tho) yet he claims to like me? But surely when you past 18 one has to expect guys to ask for more than pulling (thats sumthing you did when you were 12 rite?). Its not that i have anything against going further its just that i am a bit insecure about myself (any other girls been in the same situation when it comes to insecurity?)

    yep yep, very familiar to the situation. I have never been very secure with myself and I've come to the point where I'm refusing to date right now, saves a lot of unnecessay problems if you ask me...This guy doesn't sound particulary great (no offence), but surely if he had such a great personality he would consider your feelings as well?
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    We are both 18....we haven't even started going out yet..just met up on fri..went to cinema etc.. But i really really like him.....
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    Take is slowly, you only met on Friday!! No wonder you would feel insecure - you hardly know him. You should definitely wait until you think you would be comfortable with the situation. If you decide to do anything, you can always stop and say no if you're uncomfortable with it.
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    We met up friday for like a first date thing but i have known him for about 2.5 months now...i feel really comfortable around him but i feel realli insecure about myself (i.e not having flat stomach, or being very toned etc)!I am not sure how i wld feel about him seeing the 'real' me! Anyone else been in same situation....how did you get around it?
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    Well my boyfriend told me he loved me before anything happened so I knew he would love all of me, or at least accept me! Now (3 years down the line) I couldn't care at all!

    I suppose if you haven't been naked in front of someone since you were about 8 it feels really weird.
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    (Original post by angelzland)
    We met up friday for like a first date thing but i have known him for about 2.5 months now...i feel really comfortable around him but i feel realli insecure about myself (i.e not having flat stomach, or being very toned etc)!I am not sure how i wld feel about him seeing the 'real' me! Anyone else been in same situation....how did you get around it?
    guys think the female body is beautiful no matter if u dont see yourself as being perfect. Girls are so much more judgemental than guys! (at least, from my experience).

    In terms of 'going further', i always think about it this way...i giv guys 'more' as a kindof, well, gift, if u get it, like a way of making them happy because they've somehow made me happy (like the way this guy makes you feel, gives u butterflies in your tummy etc!) so if it's something that's EXPECTED, it's not a gift, and he doesn't deserve to get it! Its your call, but even if u do go down on him because of pressure, it won't be good because you'll be doing it for the wrong reasons and won't be comfortable. Hope this helps?!
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    Well thats the thing....he doesn't love me and i don't love him. He wants to do it for fun and i guess i want experience! However i have mentioned to him i am kinda insecure and he's told me there' nothing to be insecure about! Also, he wants to do it at my place (but i still live wit my parents and soo does he!) Hence another dilema!
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    If you're insecure about your body, wouldn't you also be insecure about your <ahem> "performance"? You have to be able to really talk openly about all this stuff - before, during and after! Parents' houses... I'm not even going to go there. yuk!
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    Is it worth all the bother or should i just get on with chomping on my chocolate bar and not care! After all at universtiy there will be plenty of opportunity for fun rite? hehe
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    P.s. he mentioned all this on the first date?!
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    (Original post by angelzland)
    Well thats the thing....he doesn't love me and i don't love him. He wants to do it for fun and i guess i want experience! However i have mentioned to him i am kinda insecure and he's told me there' nothing to be insecure about! Also, he wants to do it at my place (but i still live wit my parents and soo does he!) Hence another dilema!
    the fact that you don't love each other would make it a bit harsh if he was asking you to go all the way, but as it is, i guess it is just a bit of fun. Then again, you don't OWE him anything, if u wanna do it u wanna do it. If i was you i would maybe just not view it as being that much of a big deal, the IDEA of exposing urself to someone is horrid, but actually in the moment you don't really think twice! And erm, it's just a bit wrong doing things with your parents at home, but if they're out...! The thing is, he should respect u no matter wat, and if he doesn't, lose him girl!
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    No he wasn't asking to go all the way, but he wanted to do more than just pull. I want to as well but doesn't iut feel doing it in your room and then what happens when its over? won't your room just be a constant reminder of your first time (which will prob be terrible!). Do you think it wld be stupid to ask for the lights to b dim (will this hide the flaws?) hehe
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    (Original post by grace)
    If i was you i would maybe just not view it as being that much of a big deal, the IDEA of exposing urself to someone is horrid, but actually in the moment you don't really think twice!
    Yeah, have to say even I have found that to be true. Guys tend to be grateful for anything you do for them, and most of them know that not everyone looks like Playboy girls and they don't care. I'm the least confident person ever (as you'll have seen from my various postings) and it didn't worry me too much. As for knowing what to do, don't worry about it, everyone is nervous at some point. If you like this guy and don't mind having fun with him, do it. If you're worried that the relationship will become only about sex etc, then don't.
 
 
 
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