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When I was little, about 5 or 6, two boys the same age as me, on separate occasions tried to feel me up and kiss me. It happened a few times, and I didn't like it, but I guess I thought it was normal. Since they were young, they didn't do much. I remembered that after that, something similar happened with my sister who is slightly younger than me. Obviously we were very young and didn't know anything but I seem to remember I was the man and it involved taking tops off and touching but not much happened really. Now, I haven't remembered this for a long time but I have remembered it and it makes me feel sick and dirty. I am engaged to a lovely man and I don't know whether I should tell him this. I also want to know how to forget this. I don't view sex as very important and I think what happened when I was little is a factor. Should I see a psychiatrist? Should I tell my husband to be?

Reply 1

~nat~

1

What happened to you when you were younger is clearly affecting you now, nd the fact that you've acknowledged it is, without meaning to sound cliched, a first step. :smile:

It's great that you're engaged now (congratulations!), and if your fiance is 'lovely', then I'm sure he'll be supportive of you if you choose to tell him. From the sounds of it, you will probably benefit from some sort of talking therapy to get your feelings out in the open and to move on from your experiences. Whether you choose to tell your partner is completely your choice - don't feel obliged to - but I'd think about having a chat with your doctor to sort out some counselling/therapy sessions... it certainly can't do any harm.

All the best :smile:

Reply 2

FireDeuce

14

With your sister, it was just an innocent childhood game. It was exploring other children around you to assess your "normality." I lot of children do it. There's nothing to worry about.
I'm not sure about the other 2 boys though. its up to you whether or not you tell your fiance about it, if it bothers you that much do it.

Reply 3

pikaboo

13

Kids fool around, just accept it and move on. Maybe you should read a little about Freud's psychosexual stages while you're at it!

Reply 4

Misogynist

18

Just forget about it.. Something that happened an eon ago isnt relevant anymore.

Reply 5

fiesty_fox

6

Do whatever you feel right i think. But i think it'll make you feel better if you tell your husband if tahts why it affects your sex life, love life etc. Personally i don't think there is a need to see a psychiatrist unless it is really traumatising you or affects most of the things you do in your everyday life or maybe the way you deal with children....

Reply 6

Me and my sister did this too, it involved touching and kissing and things when we were like 7 and 4 or whatever. It used to make me feel funny too but I've just accepted it as something kids do. Reading your thread has made me see that it's wasnt just me being sick and horrible. I honestly think that it's just something that kids do, just pretending to be adults or whatever. Nothing of any consequence really happened and it's your choice if you tell your fiance.
But just feel reassured, it's just a kids thing, its an extremely taboo topic but other people have done it too.
Don't worry about it.

Reply 7

MNBStyle

9

It was just a childhood game, a act of curiosity, most people would of done it as a child, some wouldn't remember it aswell as others, some wouldn't even mention it anyway.
and of course at the time you wouldn't of known what you were doing was wrong, so therefore you shouldn't think any less of yourself.
Naturally if this past now makes you feel sick and dirty, then its normal for you to be put off by sexual activity.
I think seeing a psychiatrist should be a last choice, counselling would be your best option right now, of course you may prefer to see a female counsellor but i dont know that.
As for your boyfriend, if its that much of a issue for you then i see no harm in telling him, but only if you want to tell him, if hes as caring and lovely as you suggest then he will fully understand the situation.
Sorry if it sounds like im rambling on abit, hope my advice helps.

Reply 8

fiesty_fox

6

To be honest that happened to me as well, i was about 5 and was doing that with my sister. We were playing mummy and daddy too with the cuddley toys0.0. It was wierd.
I think its becaseu i was curious about sex maybe, well i didn;t know about sex at all, but sometimes there are occasional sex scene on TV that you acidentally watched as a child and didn't know what was going on between the man and the women. I think TV kind of influence you to imitate them.
But i guess the others has done that and i tend not to think about it too much, i hope my sis doesn't remember it though ¬.¬

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