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Hurts every time he enters me

I'm 20 and lost my virginity at 18. I'm still with the same boyfriend now.

I'm on the pill so we do have sex without condoms but have been having sex with for a while. We both had chlamydia tests done last year although we haven't been for any other STI tests - he's only had 2 one night stands (protected) before me. I know it's probably stupid not to have got fully tested... I feel like an idiot admitting that we didn't.

When we first had sex it was all good, hurt the first few times but got easier & better. We then had a break of about a month and a half during uni holidays. Afterwards (and to this day, probably a year later?) it now hurts every time he enters me. Like, it feels as though it's the first time again, it sometimes feels like a stinging sensation.

Sometimes if I really make an effort to breathe and relax it is easier but I'm quite reluctant to have sex without a fair bit of lube now and I wish it could be easier...

From all this I was sort of thinking (/hoping) it was something to do with me relaxing.

Do you guys have any experience of this at all? Could it be the side effects of an STI? I've suddenly become really paranoid about it and I've asked him if we can both go to a GUM clinic early next week....

Reply 1

Antifazian

You should go get a full STI screen asap so you can discount that as the problem, and convince him to do the same.

Then if there's nothing wrong, it could well be that you aren't relaxing or turned on enough, but i'd be inclined to go to the doctor about it anyway and see what they say.

Reply 2

Yolly

Go get both of you tested first. If it continues, there are a few things you can do, such as making sure you're aroused, relaxed and use plenty of lube. An article about it is here.

Reply 3

janey01

The advice that has been given already is good. Both go for full STI screenings so you can tick that box off. If theres no physical problem that may be causing it, it could be largely psychological on your part. As Antifazian said, you may not be relaxed or turned on enough..

You also said you had a break for a month or so? Was this just literally a break from sex because you were in different places and couldn't physically see each other, or a break from the relationship itself?... I can only speculate without knowing , but you may have underlying relationship issues that you're subconsciously upset about, and that is causing you to tense up - almost like you don't want him to physically enter you because you're upset about something thats happened. I've been in a very similar situation myself so feel free to p.m me if you're problem isn't resolved and you want to talk further :smile:

xxx

Reply 4

teh_niarr

Make sure to take your time with foreplay, and as you say, lube is a good help. Work your way up slowly and don't feel like you have to rush anything, and as others have suggested, go get tested for your own peace of mind.

The fact that it's been hurting will cause you to expect pain, which won't help if you're tensing up, so try to relax and remember that there are a lot of other fun things you can do - don't feel like you're disappointing your bloke by wanting to take time.

(edited 12 years ago)

Reply 5

daviesblue

Do more foreplay, it will relax you, and you will become more aroused and it will be easier for him to enter you.

Unfortunately us guys blessed with large equipment have to spend abit of time warming our women up.