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Ex is suicidal - help!!!
MY ex bf is suicidal, and I don;t know what to do. He text me tonight saying how he didn't want to live any more, then when I went round to his he was using a big knife and scratching at his wrists. He was drunk so I got pissed off and left him to it - he's done this kind of thing before, but now I'm home I'm really worried that he'll do something stupid!
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Reply 1
twiga
MY ex bf is suicidal, and I don;t know what to do. He text me tonight saying how he didn't want to live any more, then when I went round to his he was using a big knife and scratching at his wrists. He was drunk so I got pissed off and left him to it - he's done this kind of thing before, but now I'm home I'm really worried that he'll do something stupid!
Did you guys have a nasty break up? Do you think he may still be in love with you? If that's the case, then maybe he's just pretending to harm himself to try to get you to pay attention to him more, or may think that you may want to take him back. I know what I'm about to say next may sound a little harsh, but if he was actually suicidal then wouldn't he have just done it already as opposed to scratching at his wrists in front of you?
Also, another question - has he been depressed/feeling suicidal for a long time? I think if you gave us a little more detail on your break up and relationship and what he's been like then me and other people may be able to give you better and more relevant advice.
lessthanthree
its not your problem y'know. how many people text their exes to tell them they're going to kill themselves when it's not for attention of some description.
If you're going to reply tell him to get some professional help.
If you're going to reply tell him to get some professional help.
Yeh I think I will, he seriously needs it, he's a bit screwed up at the moment what with us breaking up and it being down to him, he texts me in the early hours almost every morning to try and get my attention, but if he does hurt himself then how could I live with that?
pratikv
Did you guys have a nasty break up? Do you think he may still be in love with you? If that's the case, then maybe he's just pretending to harm himself to try to get you to pay attention to him more, or may think that you may want to take him back. I know what I'm about to say next may sound a little harsh, but if he was actually suicidal then wouldn't he have just done it already as opposed to scratching at his wrists in front of you?
Also, another question - has he been depressed/feeling suicidal for a long time? I think if you gave us a little more detail on your break up and relationship and what he's been like then me and other people may be able to give you better and more relevant advice.
Also, another question - has he been depressed/feeling suicidal for a long time? I think if you gave us a little more detail on your break up and relationship and what he's been like then me and other people may be able to give you better and more relevant advice.
I ended it because he screwed me over for money, treated me like a cash machine and a free taxi, and I'd just had enough. In a way I was looking for an excuse to end it because I wasn't happy, but for him it came as a bolt from the blue. Since we broke up he's just been really upset, depressive, moaning about everything, keeps texting me to say how his life isn't worth living etc. He;s also in trouble with his landlord because he's really behind on his rent - he's got until the end of the month to sort it or else he'll be evicted.
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lessthanthree
yikes. that sounds familiar [early morning attn seeking calls :|]
I think there are people he'd be better off seeing rather than you if he's hurting himself. I'd personally stay out of it to be honest, but maybe you could get a mutual friend to keep an eye on him? It seems as though he's just trying to keep you around by whatever means possible.
I think there are people he'd be better off seeing rather than you if he's hurting himself. I'd personally stay out of it to be honest, but maybe you could get a mutual friend to keep an eye on him? It seems as though he's just trying to keep you around by whatever means possible.
It does seem that way, but at the end of the day if anything happened to him that could've been prevented, I don;t know what I'd do. I'll stay out of it as much as I can but we still speak every day, he texts me that is.
Reply 4
twiga
I ended it because he screwed me over for money, treated me like a cash machine and a free taxi, and I'd just had enough. In a way I was looking for an excuse to end it because I wasn't happy, but for him it came as a bolt from the blue. Since we broke up he's just been really upset, depressive, moaning about everything, keeps texting me to say how his life isn't worth living etc. He;s also in trouble with his landlord because he's really behind on his rent - he's got until the end of the month to sort it or else he'll be evicted.
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It does seem that way, but at the end of the day if anything happened to him that could've been prevented, I don;t know what I'd do. I'll stay out of it as much as I can but we still speak every day, he texts me that is.
--------------
It does seem that way, but at the end of the day if anything happened to him that could've been prevented, I don;t know what I'd do. I'll stay out of it as much as I can but we still speak every day, he texts me that is.
I don't think he's suicidal at all then. Just seems like he's attention seeking and as lessthanthree said, trying to keep you around by any means necessary.
Reply 5
twiga
I ended it because he screwed me over for money, treated me like a cash machine and a free taxi, and I'd just had enough. In a way I was looking for an excuse to end it because I wasn't happy, but for him it came as a bolt from the blue. Since we broke up he's just been really upset, depressive, moaning about everything, keeps texting me to say how his life isn't worth living etc. He;s also in trouble with his landlord because he's really behind on his rent - he's got until the end of the month to sort it or else he'll be evicted.
My ex said she was going to kill herself. Unfortunately, she's still alive :P lol. I'm so unlucky 
BTW, one of my ex's friends attempted suicide, seems like an immature teenage fad. I wouldn't worry about them. I'd laugh at them when they ring up saying they want to kill themselves. Oops I already did that :P
Silly attention seeker hehe.
BTW, one of my ex's friends attempted suicide, seems like an immature teenage fad. I wouldn't worry about them. I'd laugh at them when they ring up saying they want to kill themselves. Oops I already did that :P
Silly attention seeker hehe.
Reply 7
It's easy to laugh it all off or call it attention seeking... I don't know about the details of the OP's situation, but if someone IS seeking attention, maybe that is actually what they need - a bit of attention? I don't know, I'm partly playing devil's advocate here. It just seems to me that it's not as clear-cut as people might be suggesting in situations like these. Attention is not the same as capitulation.
Reply 8
twiga
MY ex bf is suicidal, and I don;t know what to do. He text me tonight saying how he didn't want to live any more, then when I went round to his he was using a big knife and scratching at his wrists. He was drunk so I got pissed off and left him to it - he's done this kind of thing before, but now I'm home I'm really worried that he'll do something stupid!
give him the samaritains helpine no.
Samaritans 08457 90 90 90 (UK)
'Samaritans is available 24 hours a day to provide confidential emotional support for people who are experiencing feelings of distress or despair, including those which may lead to suicide.'
Reply 9
twiga
MY ex bf is suicidal, and I don;t know what to do. He text me tonight saying how he didn't want to live any more, then when I went round to his he was using a big knife and scratching at his wrists. He was drunk so I got pissed off and left him to it - he's done this kind of thing before, but now I'm home I'm really worried that he'll do something stupid!
having been drunk and suicidal many a time myself, well i can imagine he isn't mentally in a good place right now. being on his own is not a ood move. he needs to seek help ASAP or have someone else where he is, be aware of the situation in case anything happens.
and for any of you who dimiss this as petty attention seeking shame on you! how dare you be so callous. when you are depressed (or even for seemilngly "happy" people" being drunk can heighten such feelings, or even bring them to the surface. it is a potentially serious situation, especially if he has already harmed himself. and im very tempted to say get him medical attention NOW before this gets any more serious.
Reply 10
attention seeking prat
but glad u were so worried you left him too it and came to ask tsr for help
shakes head
but glad u were so worried you left him too it and came to ask tsr for help
shakes head
Reply 11
-TMG-
My ex said she was going to kill herself. Unfortunately, she's still alive :P lol. I'm so unlucky
BTW, one of my ex's friends attempted suicide, seems like an immature teenage fad. I wouldn't worry about them. I'd laugh at them when they ring up saying they want to kill themselves. Oops I already did that :P
Silly attention seeker hehe.
BTW, one of my ex's friends attempted suicide, seems like an immature teenage fad. I wouldn't worry about them. I'd laugh at them when they ring up saying they want to kill themselves. Oops I already did that :P
Silly attention seeker hehe.
Not everyone who says it are attention seeking
My bf broke up with me a few weeks ago and I had depression and didn't expect it. Atfterwards I felt so lonely and even more depressed and as I do have a problem with slf harming sometimes I did feel like neding it all as, I know it sounds corny, he was only happy thing in my life as stated in othr posts I'm having a crap time at mo. I told ex I wanted to kill myself and he was kinda supportive and understood. I certainly didn't say it for attention. So to OP he might genuinily be suicidal and it's not really ure problem anymore but if you can try to be there as a mate maybe
Reply 12
He wants attention, don't give it to him. It's not your problem.
If you're concerned, and think his threats on his life could be serious, call the police. They will go round there with paramedics. If he is an attention whore, he'll feel really embaressed and not do it again; If he repeats his desire to self harm or take his own life, they'll arrest and section 14 him (mental health).
Problem solved
I feel really bad for you, this isnt a nice position for him to put you in!
All the best,
Si
If you're concerned, and think his threats on his life could be serious, call the police. They will go round there with paramedics. If he is an attention whore, he'll feel really embaressed and not do it again; If he repeats his desire to self harm or take his own life, they'll arrest and section 14 him (mental health).
Problem solved
I feel really bad for you, this isnt a nice position for him to put you in!
All the best,
Si
Reply 13
whether he is doing it 'for attention' or not - it is serious if someone thinks they have to threaten suicide for attention, there are lots of other, more effective ways of getting attention. They may start to do it, then call out for help thinking someone will come and save them - if no one comes then they are in big trouble.
Does your ex live with anyone? Can you talk to whoever he lives with as he clearly needs someone to keep an eye on him. You should suggest that he goes and sees his gp, who (hopefully if they are any good) will put him in touch with the right services; a friend of mine was suicidal, she ended up taking herself to a&e where she was then monitored for the next couple of weeks by the crisis resolution part of the mental health team. They were really good, called her everyday, visited her at home and she took herself to their centre when she needed them. If your ex really does want help he would agree with you that he should seek some professional help as you aren't qualified to help him! Suicidal feelings need to be resolved with professional help, and talking to someone outside of his family/friends circle will really help him.
Good luck with it, and remember that you must not blame yourself as it is about how he can handle situations, not about the situation itself. Take care
Does your ex live with anyone? Can you talk to whoever he lives with as he clearly needs someone to keep an eye on him. You should suggest that he goes and sees his gp, who (hopefully if they are any good) will put him in touch with the right services; a friend of mine was suicidal, she ended up taking herself to a&e where she was then monitored for the next couple of weeks by the crisis resolution part of the mental health team. They were really good, called her everyday, visited her at home and she took herself to their centre when she needed them. If your ex really does want help he would agree with you that he should seek some professional help as you aren't qualified to help him! Suicidal feelings need to be resolved with professional help, and talking to someone outside of his family/friends circle will really help him.
Good luck with it, and remember that you must not blame yourself as it is about how he can handle situations, not about the situation itself. Take care
Hey everyone and thanks for your replies. I appreciate leaving him wasn't the best idea but if I hadn't left then I wouldn't have got home as I would've been too tired to drive. Staying over his would've definately give the wrong impression seeing as he wants to get back with me.
I spoke to him this morning, he didn't do anything just passed out. I suggested professional help, and he just said "the only help I need is for you to get back with me", even so I'm going to text him the number for the Samaritans as Inesse suggested, and I'm going to pop round and see him tomorrow to check he's ok and has actually called them! Thanks a lot.
I spoke to him this morning, he didn't do anything just passed out. I suggested professional help, and he just said "the only help I need is for you to get back with me", even so I'm going to text him the number for the Samaritans as Inesse suggested, and I'm going to pop round and see him tomorrow to check he's ok and has actually called them! Thanks a lot.
Reply 15
twiga
He text me tonight saying how he didn't want to live any more
May just be an attention seeker.
And he probably wants rent money from you.
In any case, if he does off himself, how is it your problem ?
Reply 16
although i dont know the full details, him threatening suicide really does sound like a method of manipulation to make you feel bad and eventually feel so under pressure that you get back with him. you haven't done anything wrong. don't give in to it.
lessthanthree
silly. you can NOT get back with him through pity. shame on him for guilting you like that. I think the sooner you're out of his life the sooner he can start getting over it.
I'm not going to get back with him, don;t worry about that, he had so many last chances I lost count! It's probably best for him to be left with his friends now, they'll look after him (at least they should!)
Reply 18
-TMG-
My ex said she was going to kill herself. Unfortunately, she's still alive :P lol. I'm so unlucky
BTW, one of my ex's friends attempted suicide, seems like an immature teenage fad. I wouldn't worry about them. I'd laugh at them when they ring up saying they want to kill themselves. Oops I already did that :P
Silly attention seeker hehe.
BTW, one of my ex's friends attempted suicide, seems like an immature teenage fad. I wouldn't worry about them. I'd laugh at them when they ring up saying they want to kill themselves. Oops I already did that :P
Silly attention seeker hehe.
some actually do though in this sort of situation & succeed.
twiga - i agree with everyone, there is definitely an element of attention seeking/emotional blackmail going on here, but please don't just write it off because of that.
& although i know it's really hard for you & you can't let yourself get back with him out of pity etc. Please just think how you'll feel if he does try & succeeds & you don't think you did enough to help? as people have said - mutual friends, samaritans etc...
Anonymous
some actually do though in this sort of situation & succeed.
twiga - i agree with everyone, there is definitely an element of attention seeking/emotional blackmail going on here, but please don't just write it off because of that.
& although i know it's really hard for you & you can't let yourself get back with him out of pity etc. Please just think how you'll feel if he does try & succeeds & you don't think you did enough to help? as people have said - mutual friends, samaritans etc...
twiga - i agree with everyone, there is definitely an element of attention seeking/emotional blackmail going on here, but please don't just write it off because of that.
& although i know it's really hard for you & you can't let yourself get back with him out of pity etc. Please just think how you'll feel if he does try & succeeds & you don't think you did enough to help? as people have said - mutual friends, samaritans etc...
Why else did I go back to see him at 3am if I didn;t think something was wrong? I've never driven so fast!
Got an email from my friend who was out with him last night, she said people are starting to get worried about him because he's just sitting in his room drinking himself silly, and this was what he was like before he met me. That's even worse because it means that its my fault
I think I'm going to tell his Mum, she can help more than me.
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