Busy people how do you manage time for relationships?
So i've met a guy recently who i like a lot, but i know that he's very busy with work etc, so i don't know how he's going to juggle a relationship with me and work.
Anyone dating someone who's always busy and not available, how is your relationship?
Anyone dating someone who's always busy and not available, how is your relationship?
Okay well I'm in an LDR right now and we are both very very busy people. I hold that I am far busier than he is but he disagrees. He would go a whole week or more with no contact whatsoever, not even a text message. We would arrange to Skype and he'd cancel, rearrange and then cancel again. Things were getting stupid because I really love him and not hearing from him for two weeks on end was just unbearable for me. I ended up telling him that I'd had enough with the way things were going and that it wasn't really a relationship at all, and that I was clearly at the bottom of his list of priorities...
We have now set a regular time to Skype and he's said that I can email him whenever I want. I also felt comfortable enough to text him yesterday to tell him I was terrified while walking home from work at night, and he actually replied and kept texting me, which is new for him.
I don't know how it's going to work with visiting each other. I find out tomorrow if he can come over to England in half term, but if not I don't know
Sorry for the rambling. It's only a month or so into the relationship so finding the balance between getting on each others' nerves and not hearing from each other AT ALL has been interesting. We take it in turns to write to each other once a week, which is nice too. His problem is that he thinks to himself how much he's missing me and how much he wants to be with me, but then assumes that just because he's thought it, I somehow know by force of telepathy or something...
As I said, it's only a month in, but you have to realise that putting time aside for each other regularly is really really important, or you start getting used to not talking, which is bad.
Good luck!
We have now set a regular time to Skype and he's said that I can email him whenever I want. I also felt comfortable enough to text him yesterday to tell him I was terrified while walking home from work at night, and he actually replied and kept texting me, which is new for him.
I don't know how it's going to work with visiting each other. I find out tomorrow if he can come over to England in half term, but if not I don't know
Sorry for the rambling. It's only a month or so into the relationship so finding the balance between getting on each others' nerves and not hearing from each other AT ALL has been interesting. We take it in turns to write to each other once a week, which is nice too. His problem is that he thinks to himself how much he's missing me and how much he wants to be with me, but then assumes that just because he's thought it, I somehow know by force of telepathy or something...
As I said, it's only a month in, but you have to realise that putting time aside for each other regularly is really really important, or you start getting used to not talking, which is bad.
Good luck!
Good advice 
thanks.
thanks.
Hi Anon. Both my OH and I are very busy with work. I'm 22, he's 28. We've both got quite busy jobs and have to see eachother in between seeing friends, family and doing businessy things! We both love eachother very much but are independent at the same time which means we can both get on with our lives and do things separately without having to be clingy or constantly contacting eachother. This allows us to complete what we have to do within our jobs and then have time to see eachother. Despite a hectic schedule we see eachother often; I think the key lies in both of you being on the same page maturity and need wise. It is possible despite being busy to make a relationship work, you've just both got to agree on what you want good luck.
good luck.
Original post by Anonymous
So i've met a guy recently who i like a lot, but i know that he's very busy with work etc, so i don't know how he's going to juggle a relationship with me and work.
Anyone dating someone who's always busy and not available, how is your relationship?
Anyone dating someone who's always busy and not available, how is your relationship?
It can work but both of you have to make an effort.
I work and will be starting University in a few weeks, my BF works 6 days a week and have recently started a new venture, so it’s been difficult to see each other, but we phone each other daily and spend a couple hours on the phone. We have spoken about how busy each other schedule is and we are understanding and supportive of each other and willing to make it work.
Communication and Understanding is the key, if you feel neglected you have to let your partner know and you also have to understand that it won’t always be possible to see each other as and when you want.
We try to spend time together at least once a week
My bf/ex (.. don't even know properly anymore) , we're in an LDR and it's awful.. or was. :|
I mean, when we met up it's so perfect but our contact=awful. We usually BBM, or text, or Msn. Unfortunately, I have a lot of work and things and he thinks I'm too busy for him. What he doesn't understand is I did try but it just didn't work!
) , we're in an LDR and it's awful.. or was. :|I mean, when we met up it's so perfect but our contact=awful. We usually BBM, or text, or Msn. Unfortunately, I have a lot of work and things and he thinks I'm too busy for him. What he doesn't understand is I did try but it just didn't work!
Original post by Druggist
Hi Anon. Both my OH and I are very busy with work. I'm 22, he's 28. We've both got quite busy jobs and have to see eachother in between seeing friends, family and doing businessy things! We both love eachother very much but are independent at the same time which means we can both get on with our lives and do things separately without having to be clingy or constantly contacting eachother. This allows us to complete what we have to do within our jobs and then have time to see eachother. Despite a hectic schedule we see eachother often; I think the key lies in both of you being on the same page maturity and need wise. It is possible despite being busy to make a relationship work, you've just both got to agree on what you want good luck.
good luck.Thanks for this, I am quite understanding and i can make use of my own time if he's not available. I guess i was worried also from his point of view and whether he'd be okay with it. But it does seem like he would, as he's making more effort to contact me
Original post by intelligentfool
It can work but both of you have to make an effort.
I work and will be starting University in a few weeks, my BF works 6 days a week and have recently started a new venture, so it’s been difficult to see each other, but we phone each other daily and spend a couple hours on the phone. We have spoken about how busy each other schedule is and we are understanding and supportive of each other and willing to make it work.
Communication and Understanding is the key, if you feel neglected you have to let your partner know and you also have to understand that it won’t always be possible to see each other as and when you want.
We try to spend time together at least once a week
I work and will be starting University in a few weeks, my BF works 6 days a week and have recently started a new venture, so it’s been difficult to see each other, but we phone each other daily and spend a couple hours on the phone. We have spoken about how busy each other schedule is and we are understanding and supportive of each other and willing to make it work.
Communication and Understanding is the key, if you feel neglected you have to let your partner know and you also have to understand that it won’t always be possible to see each other as and when you want.
We try to spend time together at least once a week
Thanks this is very helpful
Original post by tweetyxo
My bf/ex (.. don't even know properly anymore) , we're in an LDR and it's awful.. or was. :|
I mean, when we met up it's so perfect but our contact=awful. We usually BBM, or text, or Msn. Unfortunately, I have a lot of work and things and he thinks I'm too busy for him. What he doesn't understand is I did try but it just didn't work!
) , we're in an LDR and it's awful.. or was. :|I mean, when we met up it's so perfect but our contact=awful. We usually BBM, or text, or Msn. Unfortunately, I have a lot of work and things and he thinks I'm too busy for him. What he doesn't understand is I did try but it just didn't work!
Ahh sorry! I was a little worried about this too, because when he's free i may not be. But hopefully it works out.
Original post by such_a_lady
Okay well I'm in an LDR right now and we are both very very busy people. I hold that I am far busier than he is but he disagrees. He would go a whole week or more with no contact whatsoever, not even a text message. We would arrange to Skype and he'd cancel, rearrange and then cancel again. Things were getting stupid because I really love him and not hearing from him for two weeks on end was just unbearable for me. I ended up telling him that I'd had enough with the way things were going and that it wasn't really a relationship at all, and that I was clearly at the bottom of his list of priorities...
We have now set a regular time to Skype and he's said that I can email him whenever I want. I also felt comfortable enough to text him yesterday to tell him I was terrified while walking home from work at night, and he actually replied and kept texting me, which is new for him.
I don't know how it's going to work with visiting each other. I find out tomorrow if he can come over to England in half term, but if not I don't know
Sorry for the rambling. It's only a month or so into the relationship so finding the balance between getting on each others' nerves and not hearing from each other AT ALL has been interesting. We take it in turns to write to each other once a week, which is nice too. His problem is that he thinks to himself how much he's missing me and how much he wants to be with me, but then assumes that just because he's thought it, I somehow know by force of telepathy or something...
As I said, it's only a month in, but you have to realise that putting time aside for each other regularly is really really important, or you start getting used to not talking, which is bad.
Good luck!
We have now set a regular time to Skype and he's said that I can email him whenever I want. I also felt comfortable enough to text him yesterday to tell him I was terrified while walking home from work at night, and he actually replied and kept texting me, which is new for him.
I don't know how it's going to work with visiting each other. I find out tomorrow if he can come over to England in half term, but if not I don't know
Sorry for the rambling. It's only a month or so into the relationship so finding the balance between getting on each others' nerves and not hearing from each other AT ALL has been interesting. We take it in turns to write to each other once a week, which is nice too. His problem is that he thinks to himself how much he's missing me and how much he wants to be with me, but then assumes that just because he's thought it, I somehow know by force of telepathy or something...
As I said, it's only a month in, but you have to realise that putting time aside for each other regularly is really really important, or you start getting used to not talking, which is bad.
Good luck!
If someone matters to you that much, finding time for them will never be a chore. It is effortless regardless of how busy you are. If you find it difficult to make time for your partner then you should sincerely evaluate your relationship.
OP, give him a chance and don't be clingy or neurotic as that would definitely push him away. And remember, lots of people with demanding jobs maintain relationships, there's no reason the guy you like can't.
OP, give him a chance and don't be clingy or neurotic as that would definitely push him away. And remember, lots of people with demanding jobs maintain relationships, there's no reason the guy you like can't.
Original post by sarahthegemini
Aha I realised how that might sound. Basically we both really hate clingy OHs and especially pointless texts like "Good morning, how are you?", and "I miss you" is lovely once in a while but every day is just irritating. Therefore we never usually text unless it's for a practical reason like arranging a Skype session, so me texting him to basically say I was scared (which he couldnt really do anything about, as he's in Eastern Europe) was a bit...brave aha. I'm basically terrified of him finding me boring and clingy and overly needy because I've already had to push so hard for regular contact and he seems to be fine going two weeks without speaking :/
Original post by Anonymous
Good advice thanks.
thanks.No problem (:
Making time for people is really hard when you are busy. But you just have to force yourself. If its someone you are going to marry then they should be more important to you than anything else and that includes your job. Trust me. If your job is more important than your wife you will live your entire life and never ever be happy no matter how high you climb on the corporate ladder. The reason for this is that human beings' brains are wired to get most of their happy feelings from social interaction and only a little bit from self actualization. This is a big reason why more middle classy types are typically happier than people who want to be superpowerful.
Also, you should never be in an LDR for longer than a couple months at the most. Someone needs to move closer to the other one or the relationship needs to end. Trust me, you will be happier for it. Personally, I avoid LDRs like the plague. Just this year I've had to end two relationships with girls I REAALLLY liked because it was going to have to go LDR. Instead Im here at my college trying to find a girl who lives close to me. I'm doing this mostly for my emotional needs. LDR's create more pain than the joy they give you and if you dont love each other enough to make enough compromises that you are closer to each other locationally than you really dont love each other as much as you think you do.
Theres also the fact that almost 100% of the time that an LDR gets prolonged past a couple of months that one or both parties will start cheating. I know people who have been married faithfully for years, but as soon as the guy starts having to travel a lot for business. Its rarely very long before the cheating starts.
And some people think cheating is fine. In my opinion, if you are going to cheat, save yourself the hassle and just end the relationship.
If its an LDR, just end it. trust me.
Also, you should never be in an LDR for longer than a couple months at the most. Someone needs to move closer to the other one or the relationship needs to end. Trust me, you will be happier for it. Personally, I avoid LDRs like the plague. Just this year I've had to end two relationships with girls I REAALLLY liked because it was going to have to go LDR. Instead Im here at my college trying to find a girl who lives close to me. I'm doing this mostly for my emotional needs. LDR's create more pain than the joy they give you and if you dont love each other enough to make enough compromises that you are closer to each other locationally than you really dont love each other as much as you think you do.
Theres also the fact that almost 100% of the time that an LDR gets prolonged past a couple of months that one or both parties will start cheating. I know people who have been married faithfully for years, but as soon as the guy starts having to travel a lot for business. Its rarely very long before the cheating starts.
And some people think cheating is fine. In my opinion, if you are going to cheat, save yourself the hassle and just end the relationship.
If its an LDR, just end it. trust me.
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