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Would you date someone with autism?

I never really met anyone with autism before but I recently met this guy and he was super cute and very sweet and nice looking and talented at art and I quite fancied him. However later someone told me he was autistic.

I wouldn't have guessed that, only that he seemed kind of shy. I am not saying I am going to ask him out as he did not show any interest in me but can a non autistic person date someone with autism?

Would that be like taking advantage of a disabled person, could it be dangerous?

Reply 1

Jess6893

9

My boyfriend's autistic, and he's the nicest guy I've ever met. I didn't even know he was autistic until he told me, and it makes no difference now that I know, he's still wonderful :smile:

If you like him, go for it!

Reply 2

Cosey

OP

10

Original post by Jess6893

My boyfriend's autistic, and he's the nicest guy I've ever met. I didn't even know he was autistic until he told me, and it makes no difference now that I know, he's still wonderful :smile:

If you like him, go for it!

Well I will see how it goes I have no idea if he like me but I would like to get to know him better.

Thanks!

Reply 3

staticrhubarb

7

Autism has different levels, and there are different types. Some people only have it mildly so in dating them you may not even notice it.

However some people are quite severely autistic so a relationship with them may be quite challenging, although not impossible.

All depends on who you fall for, I guess.

Reply 4

Schmucks

9

I hate to be ignorant, but what actually is autism?

Reply 5

username833720

13

Theres a whole scale of autism..I could maybe go out with someone who had only very mild autism, but nothing more severe. I have two younger brothers with autism if youre interested Op? :P

Reply 6

Kirstiee.

My boyfriend has autistic tendancies.. we didnt know this til not long ago when he had the tests done but it doesn't change anythin between us and it doesn't change anythin about him he's still the same person he was and I wouldnt change him for the world :smile:

Reply 7

najinaji

18

I've got mild Asperger's Syndrome, so I would probably date someone with autism. :tongue:

Not sure if someone would date me though. Some have asked, so that's encouraging... :redface:

Reply 8

shushthemonkeys

1

I have dated someone with autism before, and it didn't make a blind bit of difference to me. If you both like each other and are aware of each others individual needs then why not, but speaking from my experience, give him time to pick up your non verbal communication, like body language and such.

Reply 9

tinktinktinkerbell

16

no, i wouldnt date any one with any kind of disability

Reply 10

pluginbagel513

2

I have been in a long distance relationship with my boyfriend for over a year now and he is autistic. He is the absolutely most amazing person I have ever known and blows my mind with all that he has worked through. He just overcomes anything he works at and doesn't even think anything of it. He hated traveling and yet he has flown to America on his own to see me twice since we met in summer 2010. (one of those times surprising me for my birthday and keeping it from me for months) There are so many things about him that i love that wouldn't be there if it weren't for the autism, and I wouldn't change anything about him. He thinks of the most random creative ideas and remembers the smallest details! And to be honest he is the most caring, genuine person I have ever met. Autism certainly has it's ranges in severities, but it is nothing that should scare you out of talking to someone.
Best of luck!

Reply 11

DÃ¥ve

Original post by pluginbagel513

I have been in a long distance relationship with my boyfriend for over a year now and he is autistic. He is the absolutely most amazing person I have ever known and blows my mind with all that he has worked through. He just overcomes anything he works at and doesn't even think anything of it. He hated traveling and yet he has flown to America on his own to see me twice since we met in summer 2010. (one of those times surprising me for my birthday and keeping it from me for months) There are so many things about him that i love that wouldn't be there if it weren't for the autism, and I wouldn't change anything about him. He thinks of the most random creative ideas and remembers the smallest details! And to be honest he is the most caring, genuine person I have ever met. Autism certainly has it's ranges in severities, but it is nothing that should scare you out of talking to someone.
Best of luck!

Oh wow, a long distance relationship and he's autistic...you must be desperate or out of options.

nope.

Original post by Dåve

Oh wow, a long distance relationship and he's autistic...you must be desperate or out of options.

You're right I'm just SO desperate :wink:

Reply 14

Saber

Would you date a man with no legs? ... There's your answer.

Reply 15

shinytoy

18

Original post by Cosey

I never really met anyone with autism before but I recently met this guy and he was super cute and very sweet and nice looking and talented at art and I quite fancied him. However later someone told me he was autistic.

I wouldn't have guessed that, only that he seemed kind of shy. I am not saying I am going to ask him out as he did not show any interest in me but can a non autistic person date someone with autism?

Would that be like taking advantage of a disabled person, could it be dangerous?

hellll nooooo. i dated a guy with ADHD and dyspraxia. it was awful, i TOTALLY woulndt recommend it!!!!

his idea of dating was to turn up, *every single time* including the first date, bringing a bunch of flowers and massive bag of OTT presents. then talk incessantly in a monologue about robotics and machinery. after three months of dating regularly, he didnt even know what i studied, since i never got a word in, and he never asked me anything. he was talkign AT me rather than to me. imagine watiching a documentary on TV that never ends. it was like that ALL THE TIME. he couldnt even tell i was bored. or if i interrupted he would say 'no wait wait....so there was this cybernetic.....'

we discussed it a few times, but worst of all, he used to use his 'condition' to guilt me into dating him saying 'oh its not my fault blah blah blah'. then when i dumped him he made me explain it in detail why. so i did. then he cried. then he said 'no wait, i dont understand' so i explained it again. then he said, no really, why. are you afraid i'll cheat. so i said, soorry i explained it 3x already i gotta go.

then he rang me saying 'can we talk', and i explaionned it again. then he said 'uhhh can we talk tomorrow' so he rang the next day and i explained it again. then he said ' all sreious relationships (wtf we only went out a couple times) have problems lets talk next week.' then i said no ok, stop ringing me i have dumpe dyou go away.

now, 4 months later he still texts me 3x a week to tell me what he is doing 'hi how are you. i went to a film tonight, it was rally funny it was about a dog and his master. then i came home and my dad cooked us spaghetti it was my favorite and he had his friends round it was kool' i ignore all his texts and dont reply but he wont bog off.

those types are prone to stalking obsessions. any advice? he actually thinks we are gonna get married one day.

EDIT. there are different degrees of autism. some i guess are ok, go out once. then make your mid up. but if in doubt dont date them again or you will get into my situation.

(edited 12 years ago)

Reply 16

DÃ¥ve

Original post by pluginbagel513

You're right I'm just SO desperate :wink:

You're probably SO ugly too :wink:

Reply 17

pluginbagel513

2

Original post by Dåve

You're probably SO ugly too :wink:

At least I'm not a troll :smile:

Reply 18

DÃ¥ve

Original post by pluginbagel513

At least I'm not a troll :smile:

I suggest you actually read up the definition of a troll : http://www.dafk.net/what/

You'll just look stupid if you call people trolls. Just because you have a difference of opinion doesn't mean that they're trolls.

Reply 19

Pearl_Lyng

I would.

And in fact, I did.
He had only mild Asperger's, though, if that makes a difference.
And to be honest? Dating someone like that isn't that much different from anyone else. If you can accept other people's differences, then this is just the same.

It ended a while ago, but neither of us harbor bad feelings. It was an amazing relationship, and I regret nothing.

And chances are, if you haven't noticed anything different about him, he's on the high functioning end of ASD.
But before you do anything, please try to find out more about autism first. The last part of your post seems to imply that you're not quite sure about things. So perhaps you should take some time to read up about things first :smile:

Would you date someone with autism?

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