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How to say no...

One of my best mates asked me what I thought was a bit of a cheeky thing this evening - she asked if she could borrow a relatively new dress I bought for a school event at xmas. We (all our friends etc) all went and hence all bought new dresses and whatnot - now she has another event coming up out of school and asked if she could borrow my dress for it.

I don't wanna sound selfisgh or anything, but it was a brand new dress, I've only worn it once myself, to this event at xmas, and it cost like £150! I'm really reluctant to let her borrow it! Plus, my mum would never, ever let me lend it out like that!

How do I tell her she can't borrow it? Should I just say my mum won't let me lend it out? Is it a really selfish thing to do? What do ppl think? :frown:

Reply 1

Angel Interceptor

11

No, it's not selfish at all, just tell her that your mum doesn't want you lending it out - simple as that. I'm sure your friend won't be offended by it. :smile:

Reply 2

Scrubs

Say it is at the dry cleaners as you had an accident with it at home or something and it needs specialist repair/treatment.

Reply 3

pumpkin7

13

tell her you took the dress back.. you wanted to wear it once and then get your money back.. hehe..

oh i don't know..

Reply 4

Sexy Plexi

5

Nah, I think that's fair enough on your part, I'd be worried about it getting damaged or something. That's not being a crap, selfish friend, that's just being pragmatic! Just be honest about it with her, twud be different if it was a cheapy going out top or summat... :smile:

Reply 5

louise28k

1

its only a dress for christ's sake, share and share alike i say. friends should share. Just specify that u want it dry cleaned after and any damages then she buys u a new 1

Reply 6

ange de la nuit

11

no i'd be exactly thr same as you and i'd prob say my mum won't let me.go girl.

Reply 7

Chris.

1

Just say no if you don't want her to, what's the matter with you.

Reply 8

Dj Nastie

i think you're being a bit selfish

Reply 9

random123

2

Dj Nastie

i think you're being a bit selfish

It's only a dress, are you ever planning on wearing it again anyway? Perhaps you're friend thought you we're a good enough friend to her to let her borrow it, you'll only upset her by not letting her borrow it. She won't buy the stuff about your mum not allowing it, I'm sure she's not stupid.

Reply 10

sophieliz

12

tell her honestly that because it was an expensive dress you are a little reluctant, and that if you have any other dresses she can borrow those. Perhaps you could suggest going on a shopping trip with her to get something new...it is the sales remember.

Reply 11

Angel Interceptor

11

Joe_87

It's only a dress, are you ever planning on wearing it again anyway? Perhaps you're friend thought you we're a good enough friend to her to let her borrow it, you'll only upset her by not letting her borrow it. She won't buy the stuff about your mum not allowing it, I'm sure she's not stupid.

Well, the OP wouldn't be lying as her mum wouldn't let her lend it out as she stated in that post.

Reply 12

random123

2

pratikv

Well, the OP wouldn't be lying as her mum wouldn't let her lend it out as she stated in that post.

Yeah but her friend would still be thinking that she could've got round her mum somehow if she'd tried.

Reply 13

Kittennffc

15

Thats perfectly fine not to want to lend out something like that!

A few months ago a friend asked me if she could borrow a ball dress because she didn't have one. The only dress I have is my prom dress that cost £120 and i daren't wear it myself let alone lend it out. I just didn't text her back when she asked, which was really the was the wrong way to go about it.

Saying your mum wont let you lend it out is reasonable, she shouldn't expect to borrow something so expensive and probably expected you to say no anyway.

Good luck whatever happens :smile:

Typical that all the male posters think its selfish, boys never understand the value of a girls wardrobe :rolleyes:

Reply 14

lil_sweetie

OP

1

Kittennffc

Thats perfectly fine not to want to lend out something like that!

A few months ago a friend asked me if she could borrow a ball dress because she didn't have one. The only dress I have is my prom dress that cost £120 and i daren't wear it myself let alone lend it out. I just didn't text her back when she asked, which was really the was the wrong way to go about it.

Saying your mum wont let you lend it out is reasonable, she shouldn't expect to borrow something so expensive and probably expected you to say no anyway.

Good luck whatever happens :smile:

Typical that all the male posters think its selfish, boys never understand the value of a girls wardrobe :rolleyes:

Very true, I don't think it's being selfish, it was really expensive! And it was my Xmas present as well. It's not that I don't trust her, it's the fact that she has a perfectly fine dress already, and seeing as it's a different occasion, away from school, there'd be no worries about the same people seeing her wear it twice or whatever. If it was anything else, I wouldn't even consider saying no - but this is special!

Plus it wouldn't fit her anyway, she's got smaller boobs than me :wink:

Reply 15

Love_Hearts

9

cant she just wear the same dress she wore to the christmas do? if its an outside school event surely no1 who has seen hear wear it before will be there?

Reply 16

Segat1

16

I don't lend clothes, cds or books. Too many things lost, ruined or stained.

Reply 17

Catski

I'm with the idea of just being straight with her. Explain that its a favourite of yours and you're worried about the expense of it. If it helps, try it from the angle that you wouldn't want her to feel accountable if anything happened to it. It doesn't make you a bad friend, it just means you're careful with your property.

Reply 18

r0manticide17

3

i think the dry cleaners one or the mum wont let me lend it out always works...

Reply 19

pumpkin7

13

Joe_87

It's only a dress, are you ever planning on wearing it again anyway? Perhaps you're friend thought you we're a good enough friend to her to let her borrow it, you'll only upset her by not letting her borrow it. She won't buy the stuff about your mum not allowing it, I'm sure she's not stupid.

you don't understand the value of clothes, or money.

How to say no...

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