In love with flatmate

Hi,

I've asked for advice once on here before-and got some good advice-so was thinking of doing so again. Basically I'm living with two people in Central Brighton, one of whom I have feelings for (for several months now). She's a quiet rock chick, we get on very well although her moods do tend to vary. But she seems to really like me (although she seems to bury her feelings deep down). It's really hard to ask out a person you already hang around with a lot, esp. if you're worried that if she says no she might feel less friendly towards you. Just wondered if anyone had any advice as it's doing my head in!

Reply 1

random123

2

Just throw a party, get her really drunk and then ask her what she really thinks, then get her even more drunk and see where things go. Alcohol is the lubricant of the social wheel.

Reply 2

sophieliz

12

yeah, very helpful...This is a difficult one. You might have to cope with being good friends. However if you do want things to progress then becuase of your situation you cannot make things blunt. Maybe go places together and let her assume you are taking her as a friend....see how things go. If you are already close then it is best to just act naturally.

Reply 3

bluejeansdave

9

Just carry on how you planned, and if things are gotta happen between you two they will. But take care don't jump in, work on it.

Reply 4

UpliftMof0

2

"I'll be there for yououououooO
cos you're there for me tooo!"
doo do doo doo doo doo doooO!
lol sorry. um yea just gotta go for it. then if it doenst work out... meh :s-smilie:

pretend it never happened!

Reply 5

Tarts_n_Vicars

13

I don't think the alcohol idea is such a bad one! It's a delicate situation when you're living with someone....and these days drink can be used to cover a multitude.

Would your other flatmate have any idea what the rock chick thinks about you? You said she "seems" to like you but you never know whether people are just being friendly because you live together or friendly because she wants your babies :rolleyes:

Asking her right out could end up being very awkward, maybe you could ask her to a concert with you or something like that? Like someone gave you the tickets and you know she likes them too.....it's an unofficial date and if things go well - who knows :biggrin:

Good luck!

Reply 6

PieMaster

11

Tarts_n_Vicars

I don't think the alcohol idea is such a bad one! It's a delicate situation when you're living with someone....and these days drink can be used to cover a multitude.

What she said.

Reply 7

Segat1

16

Yes, that will ensure she trusts you - getting her pissed and telling her you love her.

Why don't you, innocently, suggest you go to the pub for a drink. Keep doing this once or twice a week, so you get to know her and you feel comfy around her.

Reply 8

LoveMusic

1

I like the idea of asking your other flatmate. Maybe a gesture of some kind, or plucking up the courage to ask her

Good Luck! x

Reply 9

RaniBee

well I was really into my ex flatmate, we became really good mates, then eventually started seeing eachother. Ended in bad terms since we annoyed the hell out of eachother because saw eachother too much.
The moral of the story is don't get with someone you live with because when it gets bad it gets really bad. And friendships can be ruined, hence why hes now an ex-flatmate.

Reply 10

huangxiaoxia

1

you can date her,see her respondence.
when the right time comes,you gently ask what is her feeling about you.
although,in my opinon,the friendship is simpler cope with than love.
good luck!!

Reply 11

Sithius

16

Joe_87

Just throw a party, get her really drunk and then ask her what she really thinks, then get her even more drunk and see where things go. Alcohol is the lubricant of the social wheel.

That is idiotic advice. Let's get her so drunk she will probably be sick or fall asleep (Potentially be in an even worse state). Moron.

There's other ways to a girls heart then alcohol. Fair play, a bit of it does help relax the mood but not when you start downing ridiculous amounts of it. :rolleyes:

Reply 12

Tarts_n_Vicars

13

My advice was only to have a couple of drinks then make the suggestion...so if she does react badly and is awkward the next morning you can just say "sorry I think I had a bit too much to drink and may have said something inappropriate".

I wouldn't advise getting her drunk....you want her to give you an honest answer not do something that will ruin your friendship forever!

Reply 13

bluejeansdave

9

I once fell in love with a woman on a block of flats I use to visit doing home shopping catoaloges. She was 80s and the nicest most helpful happy person on my books!. She was a flatmate helping me earn my first million......... well not the latter bit just a nice custom in the flats.

Reply 14

dazmanultra

1

"In vino, veritas" as the Romans say. That doesn't mean get her absolutely plastered, it just means after you've both had a few to drink one day you can hint at your true feelings, without being quite as worried about the reaction (blame it on the booze... :redface:

)

Reply 15

bluejeansdave

9

dazmanultra

"In vino, veritas" as the Romans say. That doesn't mean get her absolutely plastered, it just means after you've both had a few to drink one day you can hint at your true feelings, without being quite as worried about the reaction (blame it on the booze... :redface:

)

Just take it all in good time, be fair and be truthfull. Then the one you love, a love you.

Reply 16

Mister Cairo

OP

I'm just worried that if I leave it too long she'll meet someone else-there is competition.

I tried asking her tonight but I buggered it up a bit and now she's silent. Didn't ask her outright, just asked her if she wanted to come down the pub "to talk about things".

Reply 17

OneEightSeven

1

I'm no expert, but it sounds to me like things are doomed from the start. A lot of people here have made very good points. If you have been "just friends" for a while now, chances are it's probably gonna stay that way for a long time. Best advice I can give is get out there and meet other ladies, and keep her as a friend. Pretty girls have pretty friends and all that :wink:

In love with flatmate

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