The Student Room Group

Somewhat nervous...

I recently met my boyfriend for the first time offline (I'm gay, don't hate please.), but I was REALLY shy and nervous... He lives in Blackpool (not very far from me), and I met him online. He's a very nice guy, but I felt so nervous around him... Now, when we chat online, I find it a bit harder to be affectionate with him than I did before we met offline.

When we met offline, we kissed a few times (my first ever kisses *Blushes*), and I was really nervous/embarrassed at doing that. He kept smiling at me, and that made it even worse... I guess I even felt perhaps a bit ashamed for kissing him (no idea why though)...

I'm quite upset by it all; I definitely love him very much, beyond any doubt, just I'm finding it hard to be affectionate with him. I've never met a boyfriend offline before (I tend to have online relationships), so it was very nerveracking for me in that aspect too. I don't want to lose him; he's so nice and caring, he mentions how he would fight to protect me and really sweet things like that *Blushes*...

I'm fifteen years old at the moment, and will be sixteen in a little under four months. I want to have sex with him after we've met a few more times (and I'm 16+), but I don't know how on Earth I'll get over my sheer nerves and embarrassment. I have disorders such as Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder and Tourette's Syndrome, which contribute to make it even more uncomfortable for me in intimate situations (amongst others).

My OCD causes me to have a very uncomfortable "hot and trapped" feeling whenever I'm doing something loving. I was feeling intense discomfort when we kissed, and it will probably be much worse when we have sex.

I'm not sure what to do... does anyone have any advice for me? I'm hoping to see him again soon offline.

Thanks a lot :smile: !

~~Simba

Scroll to see replies

I dont know anything about gay relationships so no - I cant help you. (The first line made me think you were a girl)
how old is he? Does he know about the OCD? Could this be a trigger for it? It might help if you tell him. It's quite easy to get attatched over the net when you don't ahve to deal with reality, I'm not being patronising just I can see how it might work. Are you being treated for the OCD?
Sorry for all the questions!!
Reply 3
anjimcflanji
how old is he? Does he know about the OCD? Could this be a trigger for it? It might help if you tell him. It's quite easy to get attatched over the net when you don't ahve to deal with reality, I'm not being patronising just I can see how it might work. Are you being treated for the OCD?
Sorry for all the questions!!


He's 17, he'll be 18 in August. Yeah, he knows about my OCD and other problems. I have been seeing psychologists for years now because of my problems, and I am on medication that I take twice a day to control it.
OMG I am sooooo glad you wrote about it NOT as anonymous!!!!! RESPECTTTTTT
Reply 5
CherryGarcia
OMG I am sooooo glad you wrote about it NOT as anonymous!!!!! RESPECTTTTTT


Lol, thanks, I'm proud/happy to be who I am :smile: , no need to hide...
Reply 6
CherryGarcia
OMG I am sooooo glad you wrote about it NOT as anonymous!!!!! RESPECTTTTTT


Yeah, me too! :smile:
Reply 7
Anyone else have any advice? Thanks :smile: !
Reply 8
refer to the "Question" thread in H+R

Also, check out the juice in my sig :smile:
Online relationships don't work... you might catch a virus.
Reply 10
Thank you, Crouch.

One-Prophecy
Online relationships don't work... you might catch a virus.


Why bother making comments like that? I have an awful lot of friends whose online relationships have worked just fine, and a lot of them are now living offline with their partners.

You offended me by a comment you made in another thread, you should be more mature than to discriminate against people, especially since you're in college. It's not like you're a first year at highschool any more :mad: ...
Reply 11
Nerves can be overcome, and so can embarrasment/awkwardness. Tell him you're just a little embarrassed about what happened and how you feel, maybe point him here. I bet right now, with you finding it hard to be affectionate online, he's thinking you don't like him and have gone off him since you two met up.
Obviously you don't want him to think that, so tell him exactly what's wrong and try and meet as often as you can and with time, you'll grow used to his company and be more able to show how you feel. It's all just a matter of practice.

Good Luck!
Reply 12
KingLeigh
Nerves can be overcome, and so can embarrasment/awkwardness. Tell him you're just a little embarrassed about what happened and how you feel, maybe point him here. I bet right now, with you finding it hard to be affectionate online, he's thinking you don't like him and have gone off him since you two met up.
Obviously you don't want him to think that, so tell him exactly what's wrong and try and meet as often as you can and with time, you'll grow used to his company and be more able to show how you feel. It's all just a matter of practice.

Good Luck!


Thanks a lot :smile: !

Yes, I've told him about being embarrassed, he thought it was very cute and gave me a "*Huggles*". Mmm, I definitely haven't gone off him. He comes online every Thursday usually; that's when he has access to a computer with AIM. I'll chat to him about it then :smile: ...

Yeah, I'm hoping to meet him again perhaps in the February half-term :smile: ...

Thanks again!
Reply 13
another way you could try and reduce this shyness with your boyfriend is to use webcams and audio, this would allow you to know and see him online, and reduce your shyness with your boyfriend :biggrin: hope this helps ^-^
Reply 14
boo.gross
another way you could try and reduce this shyness with your boyfriend is to use webcams and audio, this would allow you to know and see him online, and reduce your shyness with your boyfriend :biggrin: hope this helps ^-^


Thanks hehe :smile: !

I sometimes voicechat with him; he's got such a cute voice hehe, I get embarrassed even just voicechatting with him (much less so than offline though). I don't think he has a webcam... I wish I wasn't so embarrassed - he's an extremely nice person, I just hope someday I won't be too shy to explain to him how much he means to me and how much I love him... without getting so embarrassed *Blushes and giggles* ^_^;;; ...

Thanks again hehe ^_^ !
Reply 15
Simba
Thanks hehe :smile: !

I sometimes voicechat with him; he's got such a cute voice hehe, I get embarrassed even just voicechatting with him (much less so than offline though). I don't think he has a webcam... I wish I wasn't so embarrassed - he's an extremely nice person, I just hope someday I won't be too shy to explain to him how much he means to me and how much I love him... without getting so embarrassed *Blushes and giggles* ^_^;;; ...

Thanks again hehe ^_^ !


aww.. well you could get a webcam for him for like a special occasion.. e.g. birthday.. umm.. dunno when else you can give it as.. a random day?
they don't cost much, £10 or so.. depending on quality and all..

Hey is this your first dating relationship? as that maybe causing all the shyness and all .. hmm.. maybe :wink: ?
Reply 16
Simba
I recently met my boyfriend for the first time offline (I'm gay, don't hate please.), but I was REALLY shy and nervous... He lives in Blackpool (not very far from me), and I met him online. He's a very nice guy, but I felt so nervous around him... Now, when we chat online, I find it a bit harder to be affectionate with him than I did before we met offline.

When we met offline, we kissed a few times (my first ever kisses *Blushes*), and I was really nervous/embarrassed at doing that. He kept smiling at me, and that made it even worse... I guess I even felt perhaps a bit ashamed for kissing him (no idea why though)...

I'm quite upset by it all; I definitely love him very much, beyond any doubt, just I'm finding it hard to be affectionate with him. I've never met a boyfriend offline before (I tend to have online relationships), so it was very nerveracking for me in that aspect too. I don't want to lose him; he's so nice and caring, he mentions how he would fight to protect me and really sweet things like that *Blushes*...

I'm fifteen years old at the moment, and will be sixteen in a little under four months. I want to have sex with him after we've met a few more times (and I'm 16+), but I don't know how on Earth I'll get over my sheer nerves and embarrassment. I have disorders such as Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder and Tourette's Syndrome, which contribute to make it even more uncomfortable for me in intimate situations (amongst others).

My OCD causes me to have a very uncomfortable "hot and trapped" feeling whenever I'm doing something loving. I was feeling intense discomfort when we kissed, and it will probably be much worse when we have sex.

I'm not sure what to do... does anyone have any advice for me? I'm hoping to see him again soon offline.

Thanks a lot :smile: !

~~Simba

Of course it will be natural for you to find the whole thing abit weird and nerveracking, especially if your use to online relationships.
Its something that you will get easier with when you met a few times so i wouldn't worry about it to much right now.
As for your OCD, have you tryed getting it treated through counselling or CBT???
One-Prophecy
Online relationships don't work... you might catch a virus.


I think... bear with me... I think... I'm not quite sure about this one... I think... he may just have - don't quote me on this - been... joking?

:wink:
Simba
Thank you, Crouch.



Why bother making comments like that? I have an awful lot of friends whose online relationships have worked just fine, and a lot of them are now living offline with their partners.

You offended me by a comment you made in another thread, you should be more mature than to discriminate against people, especially since you're in college. It's not like you're a first year at highschool any more :mad: ...


I think... bear with me... I think... I'm not quite sure about this one... I think... he may just have - don't quote me on this - been... joking?

:wink:
Dream Theater
I dont know anything about gay relationships so no


Whats the point in postiing something like that!!! Any normal person just dosn't post anything at all. :confused: