I recently met my boyfriend for the first time offline (I'm gay, don't hate please.), but I was REALLY shy and nervous... He lives in Blackpool (not very far from me), and I met him online. He's a very nice guy, but I felt so nervous around him... Now, when we chat online, I find it a bit harder to be affectionate with him than I did before we met offline.
When we met offline, we kissed a few times (my first ever kisses *Blushes*), and I was really nervous/embarrassed at doing that. He kept smiling at me, and that made it even worse... I guess I even felt perhaps a bit ashamed for kissing him (no idea why though)...
I'm quite upset by it all; I definitely love him very much, beyond any doubt, just I'm finding it hard to be affectionate with him. I've never met a boyfriend offline before (I tend to have online relationships), so it was very nerveracking for me in that aspect too. I don't want to lose him; he's so nice and caring, he mentions how he would fight to protect me and really sweet things like that *Blushes*...
I'm fifteen years old at the moment, and will be sixteen in a little under four months. I want to have sex with him after we've met a few more times (and I'm 16+), but I don't know how on Earth I'll get over my sheer nerves and embarrassment. I have disorders such as Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder and Tourette's Syndrome, which contribute to make it even more uncomfortable for me in intimate situations (amongst others).
My OCD causes me to have a very uncomfortable "hot and trapped" feeling whenever I'm doing something loving. I was feeling intense discomfort when we kissed, and it will probably be much worse when we have sex.
I'm not sure what to do... does anyone have any advice for me? I'm hoping to see him again soon offline.
Thanks a lot

!
~~Simba