Thoughts on my House Captain statement...? Watch

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Brad22
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Hi, I have just finished writing my House Captain statement which I will be taking into school tomorrow, and which will be read by the Guidance Staff, who then decide who shall become the captains of the different houses.

I would really appreciate any help, advice or changes to this piece because I want to make sure it is perfect as it can be.

Thanks again.

School years to me are a combination of highs and lows, of ups and downs, the comfort of old friends, the meeting of new one’s and of experiencing new things.

Every individual has their own expectations and views on school, what it should bring, what it should stand for, but to me it is quite clear school is a period in your lifetime where you find yourself, and what you are destined to do. For me, high school has helped me interact with different people, motivate me for a brighter future, and change for the better. High school is definitely going to be an unforgettable memory, and therefore an excellent experience.


Over the last 5 years at Cardinal Newman, I have been given the opportunity to develop many of my skills and qualities, which if elected I would be able to bring to not only Andrew house but the school as a whole.


As a pupil, I have always endeavoured to integrate fully into the school, to work as a team and to adopt a mutual respect for my colleagues and peers. As a person I believe that I am honest, respectful, and always willing to listen yet willing to lead.

I believe I’m also a generally good public speaker. I am well organised and I like to do tasks that I am given very quickly. I treat everyone equally and try my best to include everyone in activities.

Whilst at high school I have always enjoyed helping others as well as striving to do my best at anything and everything I do. For me, the role of house captain is an honour and something which will allow me ‘give something back’ to the school for all the support and encouragement that I have been given over the years.
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Brad22
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Bump*

Please someone help.
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Inlineadam
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(Original post by Brad22)

School years to me are a combination of highs and lows, of ups and downs, the comfort of old friends, the meeting of new one’s and of experiencing new things.

Every individual has their own expectations and views on school; what it should bring and what it should stand for but to me it is quite clear that school is a period in your lifetime where you find yourself and what you are destined to do. Personally, high school has helped me to interact with different people, motivate myself for a brighter future and change for the better. I am therfore very eager to have an opportunity where i can pass on my motivation and experience to other pupils which I feel will help them to success in all aspects of school.

Over the last 5 years at Cardinal Newman, I have been given the opportunity to develop many of my skills and qualities, which if elected I would be able to bring to not only Andrew house but the school as a whole.


As a pupil, I have always endeavoured to integrate fully into the school, to work as a team player and to adopt a mutual respect for my colleagues and peers. As a person I believe that I am honest, respectful and always willing to listen and to lead.

I believe that I’m also a generally good public speaker. I am well organised and I like to do tasks that I am given very quickly, which is a strength i feel would prove to be very useful in coping with the additional work and responsibilities of being a house captain. I strongly believe in equality and always try my best to include everyone in activities.

During my 5 years at high school I have always enjoyed helping others as well as striving to do my best at anything and everything that I do. For me, the role of house captain is an honour and an opportunity which will allow me to ‘give something back’ to the school for all the support and encouragement that I have been given over the years.


I think it's a good first draft.

You went a bit mad with commas and some things that you wrote were nonsese lol

I fixed gramatical errors and addes a few bits on and off.

Hope that helps
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S_123
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You need to give proof that you're claims are true. You're a good public speaker - have you got any experience of public speaking e.g. giving speeches in assemblies, debating society, etc? Leadership - captain of a sports team, etc?
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Amiro123
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I just wrote an application for house captaincy and also attached my CV. My teacher told me that that showed initiative (we weren't told to do it and nobody else did) and was one of the reasons he chose me over the others (I still only got the position of deputy house captain though ).

If you want I can PM you my application to give you a few ideas?
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Inlineadam
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(Original post by Amiro123)
I just wrote an application for house captaincy and also attached my CV. My teacher told me that that showed initiative (we weren't told to do it and nobody else did) and was one of the reasons he chose me over the others (I still only got the position of deputy house captain though ).

If you want I can PM you my application to give you a few ideas?

THink the op had to hand it in today :P
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Amiro123
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(Original post by Inlineadam)
THink the op had to hand it in today :P
Argh, I musn't have read his post properly! Well good luck anyway (not you, OP!)
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Brad22
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Thankyou guys for all your help. It is much appreciated.

Do any of you think I have a good chance with the application I have submitted?
I handed it in today.

Thanks again.
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Aidan88
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Columba .1
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Inlineadam
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(Original post by Brad22)
Thankyou guys for all your help. It is much appreciated.

Do any of you think I have a good chance with the application I have submitted?
I handed it in today.

Thanks again.
We can't really offer our thoughts on whether you'll be successful or not because the truth is no-one knows.

- They have to compare it with other peoples,

- They take into account many other factors and not just the statement.

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Brad22
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(Original post by Inlineadam)
We can't really offer our thoughts on whether you'll be successful or not because the truth is no-one knows.

- They have to compare it with other peoples,

- They take into account many other factors and not just the statement.

By the term 'many other factors' what do you mean?
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Inlineadam
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(Original post by Brad22)
By the term 'many other factors' what do you mean?


Well , for these things the people who interview/consider you generally tend to speak to your teachers to find out more. What your like behavior wise, how hard working etc

You get what i mean...

In some occasions they actual ask pupils as-well

So when i say factors, i mean that they don't judge you solely on your statement.
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Aidan88
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(Original post by Brad22)
Hi, I have just finished writing my House Captain statement which I will be taking into school tomorrow, and which will be read by the Guidance Staff, who then decide who shall become the captains of the different houses.

I would really appreciate any help, advice or changes to this piece because I want to make sure it is perfect as it can be.

Thanks again.

School years to me are a combination of highs and lows, of ups and downs, the comfort of old friends, the meeting of new one’s and of experiencing new things.

Every individual has their own expectations and views on school, what it should bring, what it should stand for, but to me it is quite clear school is a period in your lifetime where you find yourself, and what you are destined to do. For me, high school has helped me interact with different people, motivate me for a brighter future, and change for the better. High school is definitely going to be an unforgettable memory, and therefore an excellent experience.


Over the last 5 years at Cardinal Newman, I have been given the opportunity to develop many of my skills and qualities, which if elected I would be able to bring to not only Andrew house but the school as a whole.


As a pupil, I have always endeavoured to integrate fully into the school, to work as a team and to adopt a mutual respect for my colleagues and peers. As a person I believe that I am honest, respectful, and always willing to listen yet willing to lead.

I believe I’m also a generally good public speaker. I am well organised and I like to do tasks that I am given very quickly. I treat everyone equally and try my best to include everyone in activities.

Whilst at high school I have always enjoyed helping others as well as striving to do my best at anything and everything I do. For me, the role of house captain is an honour and something which will allow me ‘give something back’ to the school for all the support and encouragement that I have been given over the years.

Did you get it ?
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uyyuyyy
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you are going to win
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Monty Chaurasia
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Can u all give me an article on you are a house captain and what you do any gain the whole year in house captain?
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