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Should I Send It?
Ok, I'm in a terrible pickle. I've done something daft and I'd be grateful for any advice.
Ok, it concerns my friend Clare and her 'ex. Went out with Clare and another friend, to do some shopping on Saturday. Clare mentioned to us that she thought she'd upset her 'ex, whom she adores and has just begun seeing althouh they aren't stictly 'together' again. She sent him a text and he didnt reply or answer her call, so she was worried. Now, she has anew phone and wanted to set up the email and internet thing on it. I have an identical phone and offered to do it. Now, I dont know why I did, but I called him. We were together, so I basically watched the sceen and would've passed the phone to Clare once he'd picked up. This didn't happen and the calls, well, mounted. Clare tool a rediculously smal bag out with her and I got roped into keeping hold of it. She asked me for iit in order to send a few texts, which were realy light-hearted and jokey But in addition to my calls she'd have come actos very clingy. I later told My other friend, Liz, who was out with us while we were in the changing rooms. She called him on her phine,and he answered straight away, as he didnt have her number.
Now I received a call an hour ago from Clare, distraught at the fact that he's just text to tel her that he doesnt want to see her again. he'd initially re-started their contact, so I feel terrible, and Clares not speaking to me. We're back at our separate Uni's next week and she assures me that she wont be in touch again.
She's had a terrible time lately, her mother died, and she literally has no family, and lives with her Step-mother. This is irrelevant, but my point is that she's very vunerable.
She's utterly beautiful, seriously no exageratiions here,and i'm sure that he won't want to let her go. Therefore, I'm contemplating sending him a text message tomorow to explain. Bear in mind I've only met him once briefly. I want to offer him the opportunity to call me on my work and mobile number. I want to basically explain that it isnt her fsult, but its gonna look suss due to the fact that she also sent him texts!
Please help me with what I can say in this message, if you even think i should send it all? How can I get the point across, how should I word it etc?
Ok, it concerns my friend Clare and her 'ex. Went out with Clare and another friend, to do some shopping on Saturday. Clare mentioned to us that she thought she'd upset her 'ex, whom she adores and has just begun seeing althouh they aren't stictly 'together' again. She sent him a text and he didnt reply or answer her call, so she was worried. Now, she has anew phone and wanted to set up the email and internet thing on it. I have an identical phone and offered to do it. Now, I dont know why I did, but I called him. We were together, so I basically watched the sceen and would've passed the phone to Clare once he'd picked up. This didn't happen and the calls, well, mounted. Clare tool a rediculously smal bag out with her and I got roped into keeping hold of it. She asked me for iit in order to send a few texts, which were realy light-hearted and jokey But in addition to my calls she'd have come actos very clingy. I later told My other friend, Liz, who was out with us while we were in the changing rooms. She called him on her phine,and he answered straight away, as he didnt have her number.
Now I received a call an hour ago from Clare, distraught at the fact that he's just text to tel her that he doesnt want to see her again. he'd initially re-started their contact, so I feel terrible, and Clares not speaking to me. We're back at our separate Uni's next week and she assures me that she wont be in touch again.
She's had a terrible time lately, her mother died, and she literally has no family, and lives with her Step-mother. This is irrelevant, but my point is that she's very vunerable.
She's utterly beautiful, seriously no exageratiions here,and i'm sure that he won't want to let her go. Therefore, I'm contemplating sending him a text message tomorow to explain. Bear in mind I've only met him once briefly. I want to offer him the opportunity to call me on my work and mobile number. I want to basically explain that it isnt her fsult, but its gonna look suss due to the fact that she also sent him texts!
Please help me with what I can say in this message, if you even think i should send it all? How can I get the point across, how should I word it etc?
Scroll to see replies
Reply 2
Jayjayjay
Apologise for getting involved?
Maybe it is best to leave it and/or tell her of your minor involvement x
Maybe it is best to leave it and/or tell her of your minor involvement x
She knows that I got involved! Hence the fact that she's not speaking to me and she and her 'ex arent gonna see each other again!
What should I say to him in the message, more to the point?!
Reply 4
Jayjayjay
Apologise for getting involved?
Maybe it is best to leave it and/or tell her of your minor involvement x
Maybe it is best to leave it and/or tell her of your minor involvement x
Another alternative is to send him an Orangutan-o-gram.
Reply 6
sophieliz
why was he pissed off? cos she (or rather you) called him a few times? ridiculous. she needs to explain to him that you were being immature.
I know this seems rediculous, but given everything that happened with her last year, I've really put my foot in things. Er, I really dont know why It amounted to this, but kinda called him about 20-odd times. i didnt realise it was that much, as we were walking along chatting as i did it. Extremely immature, i know.
Now, I basically want to explain to him that it wasnt her. She called him three times, after I'd called, but left voice messages. She always leaves voice messages. I think that, given, every thing thats happened with her mother etc, she may appear a little over emotional to him.
How do I convince him that I was to blame for this?
I was really hinting for you guys to provide me with some kind of template for which I can perhaps send. Put yourself in this position, and please pass on what you'd say. I really dont know where to start.
I said that I'd provide him with my work and mob number, in order for him to get in touch so that i could explain!
cant be bothered to be anon anymore either in case thats deterring people from replying- I know it can appear irritating.
justbrowsing
but kinda called him about 20-odd times. i didnt realise it was that much, as we were walking along chatting as i did it. Extremely immature, i know.
The quote above from your lastpost, thats what you need to say to him.
If he dont want to beleive it then thats his problem really.
But i think its more important you sort things out with your friend right now dont you??
Anonymous
She knows that I got involved! Hence the fact that she's not speaking to me and she and her 'ex arent gonna see each other again!
What should I say to him in the message, more to the point?!
What should I say to him in the message, more to the point?!
Sorry.
Perhaps you need to sort things out with her over him.From his point of view she called him several times and you had nothing to do with it. You contacting him may just make it worse.
Apologise to him (if you feel it is necessary to) for getting involved in the first place, admit it was you who called and leave it at that. Anything said when they spoke or when he contacted her is between them.
Reply 9
MNBStyle
The quote above from your lastpost, thats what you need to say to him.
If he dont want to beleive it then thats his problem really.
But i think its more important you sort things out with your friend right now dont you??
If he dont want to beleive it then thats his problem really.
But i think its more important you sort things out with your friend right now dont you??
But how can I convince him that it was me, not her?! Goddam u boys- I need your male perspective on this!
justbrowsing
But how can I convince him that it was me, not her?! Goddam u boys- I need your male perspective on this!
The problem is, chances are he won't beleive you he will just presume your taking the blame for your mate.
Theres nothing you can say to make him beleive you, the best you can do is speak the truth
Reply 11
MNBStyle
The problem is, chances are he won't beleive you he will just presume your taking the blame for your mate.
Theres nothing you can say to make him beleive you, the best you can do is speak the truth
Theres nothing you can say to make him beleive you, the best you can do is speak the truth
so basically, u think i should just come clean to him about my actions?!
Reply 13
MNBStyle
Yes, if you feel its worth doing thoe do you think any good will actually come out of it if he did beleive you???
Plus how long ago was this now?? that could make alot of difference
Plus how long ago was this now?? that could make alot of difference
Why would no good come of it? It only happened on Saturday afternoon.
justbrowsing
Why would no good come of it? It only happened on Saturday afternoon.
Oh right well thats ok then, if it had been months ago it would of looked abit suss thats all.
Plus i suggest if any good would come out of it, because he just might not beleive you and nothing would change.
Still i think it would be best if you owned up to it, as its not fair for him to presume it was your mate.
But i urge you to keep it to 1 call or text for the apology and leave it at that and not end up swapping numbers and texting eachother more often as friends,
otherwise how do you think thats going to look to your friend???
Reply 15
Still i think it would be best if you owned up to it, as its not fair for him to presume it was your mate.
OkI know this is getting boring for you guys now, but I've developed a message and have saved it in my outbox, ready to send tomorrow...
Please be as critical as you need to be..
Hi ***, it's ****, Clares friend, got your number from Liz. Believe i've put my fot in it? Feel I should intervene. Was out on Sat with her, basically she mentioned you, didnt know you'd fallen out. Was setting up her phone, and I didnt think! Should've come clean to her sooner about it, obviously she didnt know. Im at work at *** on desk 4, the no is ****, bel me if you'd like further excuses for my immaturity! Best keep this between u and i. Not taking the flak here- my mistake was an innocent one, its a classic wind-up that girls play- but wouldve helped if kim was in on it! Dont be hard on her, im the one that looks stuid, not u. Anyway this wouldnt ave hapened if it werent for her stupid prada bag- she never was able to fit her phone and purse in it!Thanks.
Obviously, it doesnt appear that long in the text due to 'you' replaced with 'u' etc, but i want to cover everything. Please offer your advice... anything i should add or leave out? or should i scrap it entirely for a different message?!
OkI know this is getting boring for you guys now, but I've developed a message and have saved it in my outbox, ready to send tomorrow...
Please be as critical as you need to be..
Hi ***, it's ****, Clares friend, got your number from Liz. Believe i've put my fot in it? Feel I should intervene. Was out on Sat with her, basically she mentioned you, didnt know you'd fallen out. Was setting up her phone, and I didnt think! Should've come clean to her sooner about it, obviously she didnt know. Im at work at *** on desk 4, the no is ****, bel me if you'd like further excuses for my immaturity! Best keep this between u and i. Not taking the flak here- my mistake was an innocent one, its a classic wind-up that girls play- but wouldve helped if kim was in on it! Dont be hard on her, im the one that looks stuid, not u. Anyway this wouldnt ave hapened if it werent for her stupid prada bag- she never was able to fit her phone and purse in it!Thanks.
Obviously, it doesnt appear that long in the text due to 'you' replaced with 'u' etc, but i want to cover everything. Please offer your advice... anything i should add or leave out? or should i scrap it entirely for a different message?!
justbrowsing
Im at work at *** on desk 4, the no is ****, bel me if you'd like further excuses for my immaturity! Best keep this between u and i.
Everything is fine with that text, apart from the section ive quoted above. Reason being,
1: Whats the point in getting him to call you about it??? theres nothing more you can say apart from what you put in the message.
2: Why keep it between you and him??? makes it look like you got something to hide.
Reply 17
MNBStyle
Everything is fine with that text, apart from the section ive quoted above. Reason being,
1: Whats the point in getting him to call you about it??? theres nothing more you can say apart from what you put in the message.
2: Why keep it between you and him??? makes it look like you got something to hide.
1: Whats the point in getting him to call you about it??? theres nothing more you can say apart from what you put in the message.
2: Why keep it between you and him??? makes it look like you got something to hide.
1. It makes it clear that it's not Clare pretending to be me. By providing my work no surely it makes it look like its a genuine explanation and story?
2. Dont know really, maybe cos it looks (to him) as though im making more of an effort?
Thanks for all your advice so far, just deposited some pos rep into your account!
justbrowsing
1. It makes it clear that it's not Clare pretending to be me. By providing my work no surely it makes it look like its a genuine explanation and story?
2. Dont know really, maybe cos it looks (to him) as though im making more of an effort?
Thanks for all your advice so far, just deposited some pos rep into your account!
2. Dont know really, maybe cos it looks (to him) as though im making more of an effort?
Thanks for all your advice so far, just deposited some pos rep into your account!
Ok i agree with you about number 1
As for 2, its not going to make out your making more effort, so i suggest you leave out the "Keep it between you and me bit"
Keeping Secrets can be a dangerous thing no matter how small
Thank you very much for the rep most appreciated
Reply 19
MNBStyle
Ok i agree with you about number 1
As for 2, its not going to make out your making more effort, so i suggest you leave out the "Keep it between you and me bit"
Keeping Secrets can be a dangerous thing no matter how small
Thank you very much for the rep most appreciated
As for 2, its not going to make out your making more effort, so i suggest you leave out the "Keep it between you and me bit"
Keeping Secrets can be a dangerous thing no matter how small
Thank you very much for the rep most appreciated
You're most welcome. I'll be sure to send the message tomorrow complete with your practical alterations!
Thanks again x
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