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Social ******
I've always been a quiet person, and people do talk to me, until they realise that I don't usually *try* to make conversation with people generally. This is always the way I've been and it's quiet hard to change that, and people always get the impression I don't bother making any effort into making friends. All my friends have basically been co incidences or people trying to make friends with me, but never the other way around.
I've come to the conclusion that I'm a kind of "social ******" in a way. For instance, when I'm in a conversation with someone, I reply with short answers and don't really look at them, but I can't help it. These sort of go against the "rules" of socialising or whatever, but I seem to break every rule.
All this isn't really a problem for me, but I realise that it's going to be a problem for everyone else, and especially as you need to socialise to get a job and function in society, I don't see myself being someone who can be one of those "team spirit" people (
) who work together with other people and I prefer doing things my own way. This is a weird problem, and I don't really know what it is, but yeah, I'm worried that because of the way I am, I won't be accepted and it's not like I really want to change either... and it sounds selfish but it feels very forced when I have to small talk with people and be "friendly" and stuff like that.
Well if anyone can offer any advice or a word if they know what I'm on about then feel free to do so.
I've come to the conclusion that I'm a kind of "social ******" in a way. For instance, when I'm in a conversation with someone, I reply with short answers and don't really look at them, but I can't help it. These sort of go against the "rules" of socialising or whatever, but I seem to break every rule.
All this isn't really a problem for me, but I realise that it's going to be a problem for everyone else, and especially as you need to socialise to get a job and function in society, I don't see myself being someone who can be one of those "team spirit" people (
) who work together with other people and I prefer doing things my own way. This is a weird problem, and I don't really know what it is, but yeah, I'm worried that because of the way I am, I won't be accepted and it's not like I really want to change either... and it sounds selfish but it feels very forced when I have to small talk with people and be "friendly" and stuff like that. Well if anyone can offer any advice or a word if they know what I'm on about then feel free to do so.
Reply 1
i'm sorry, but what is the word that you *** out just put the word and * one letter
Reply 2
r*tard. Sorry, I didn't know it was a "swear word" 
Reply 3
It everyone else's problem.
EVERYONE has a unique personality. You should only hang around with others who accept you for you. If they haven't got the balls to recognise difference, it's their own fault.
EVERYONE has a unique personality. You should only hang around with others who accept you for you. If they haven't got the balls to recognise difference, it's their own fault.
Reply 4
zooropa
It everyone else's problem.
EVERYONE has a unique personality. You should only hang around with others who accept you for you. If they haven't got the balls to recognise difference, it's their own fault.
EVERYONE has a unique personality. You should only hang around with others who accept you for you. If they haven't got the balls to recognise difference, it's their own fault.
Thanks, but if I'm not going to be accepted because of this, then eventually I'm gonig to be rejected from society...
yeah you got a point to an extent i have problems talking to new people and all that kind of thing but i do have a large number of friends and its increasing at the moment because as sad as it sounds i became more socialable by getting myself onto msn and adding people from forums and things. You will get out of doing things on your own at uni when you are forced into group work or begging for help when you cant do something.
I have good friends who have taken me out to the pubs and stuff with them so that helps massively and basically i think you have to push yourself into social situations and i know its easier said than done but there no-one who can help you be who you want to be socially than yourself, sorry.
I have good friends who have taken me out to the pubs and stuff with them so that helps massively and basically i think you have to push yourself into social situations and i know its easier said than done but there no-one who can help you be who you want to be socially than yourself, sorry.
zooropa
It everyone else's problem.
EVERYONE has a unique personality. You should only hang around with others who accept you for you. If they haven't got the balls to recognise difference, it's their own fault.
EVERYONE has a unique personality. You should only hang around with others who accept you for you. If they haven't got the balls to recognise difference, it's their own fault.
sh*t advice, its not everyone else's problem, its her problem. why? because at the end of the day it will be her miserable because of it and not other people. yeah your right its COMPLETELY other peoples fault when the thread-starter can barely talk to them or socially interact with them.
-----
only way to get around this that i can see is to force yourself to change. and if you cant do that, simply because its not a matter of trying, you just cant; then i would see a psychiatrist if its really getting to be a problem.
Reply 9
Reue
Get drunk...
no, im serious, not to the stage where you donno what your doing, but alot of people find 2 or 3 pints makes them far more sociable.
no, im serious, not to the stage where you donno what your doing, but alot of people find 2 or 3 pints makes them far more sociable.
Post starter - you really need to make the effort to socialise more. Believe it or not a lot of independent people fail because they have no social skills what so ever. You might be the Brains of Britain, but social skills is very important in adapting to working in the real world and getting on in life.
to the Thread starter,
I can really see where your coming from - to be honest im quite similar. Ive always found it SO difficult to just go and talk to people and to make friends. Im lucky that ive been able to make a few really great friends in the past year or so at my new sixth form, but it was mostly all them and its not until this september that ive suddenly started to see them as REAL friends I can just talk to about anything, and aside from them, i dont speak to many others in the school. I have to say though, that a couple of weeks ago, dont how dont know why, but i suddenly realised that i just shouldn't care what other people think when i talk to them - i now always ask myself 'whats the worst that can happen?' aswell. Seriousely, what is? And I now try to think that it doesn't matter what they think - its their problem. I know its really difficult but you, I!, need to try and improve - Even though I now realised these few things, im still finding it difficult, so ive tried to start off 'small' and try smiling at people a lot more - even if i dont know them. Im also trying to make a lot more eye contact with people. I found the best way to do this one was with my friends - it doesnt feel to odd that way and I dont feel like a complete idiot! Its just a matter of training yourself and making small imrpovements all the time. Anyway, i'll shut up for now!! You'll get there - we both will! please feel free to PM me if you want to chat
I can really see where your coming from - to be honest im quite similar. Ive always found it SO difficult to just go and talk to people and to make friends. Im lucky that ive been able to make a few really great friends in the past year or so at my new sixth form, but it was mostly all them and its not until this september that ive suddenly started to see them as REAL friends I can just talk to about anything, and aside from them, i dont speak to many others in the school. I have to say though, that a couple of weeks ago, dont how dont know why, but i suddenly realised that i just shouldn't care what other people think when i talk to them - i now always ask myself 'whats the worst that can happen?' aswell. Seriousely, what is? And I now try to think that it doesn't matter what they think - its their problem. I know its really difficult but you, I!, need to try and improve - Even though I now realised these few things, im still finding it difficult, so ive tried to start off 'small' and try smiling at people a lot more - even if i dont know them. Im also trying to make a lot more eye contact with people. I found the best way to do this one was with my friends - it doesnt feel to odd that way and I dont feel like a complete idiot! Its just a matter of training yourself and making small imrpovements all the time. Anyway, i'll shut up for now!! You'll get there - we both will! please feel free to PM me if you want to chat
yo yo yo tec'ma'te.
There's nothing wrong with you - if you dislike making conversation and pointless chit-chat, don't. Ignore anyone who says you 'need' to be more sociable, you don't. Simple as that. If you're only worried about this because of what society expects, shrug it off. I'm assuming this is the case from "All this isn't really a problem for me, but I realise that it's going to be a problem for everyone else".
If, however, you WANT to become more sociable, just act interested in what people say and try to be attentive.
If you're happy the way you are, there's no problem to solve.
In summary, fear of not being accepted is for little emo weiners, and you don't want to be one of those.
There's nothing wrong with you - if you dislike making conversation and pointless chit-chat, don't. Ignore anyone who says you 'need' to be more sociable, you don't. Simple as that. If you're only worried about this because of what society expects, shrug it off. I'm assuming this is the case from "All this isn't really a problem for me, but I realise that it's going to be a problem for everyone else".
If, however, you WANT to become more sociable, just act interested in what people say and try to be attentive.
If you're happy the way you are, there's no problem to solve.
In summary, fear of not being accepted is for little emo weiners, and you don't want to be one of those.
Reply 13
Anonymous
I've always been a quiet person, and people do talk to me, until they realise that I don't usually *try* to make conversation with people generally. This is always the way I've been and it's quiet hard to change that, and people always get the impression I don't bother making any effort into making friends. All my friends have basically been co incidences or people trying to make friends with me, but never the other way around.
I've come to the conclusion that I'm a kind of "social ******" in a way. For instance, when I'm in a conversation with someone, I reply with short answers and don't really look at them, but I can't help it. These sort of go against the "rules" of socialising or whatever, but I seem to break every rule.
All this isn't really a problem for me, but I realise that it's going to be a problem for everyone else, and especially as you need to socialise to get a job and function in society, I don't see myself being someone who can be one of those "team spirit" people ( ) who work together with other people and I prefer doing things my own way. This is a weird problem, and I don't really know what it is, but yeah, I'm worried that because of the way I am, I won't be accepted and it's not like I really want to change either... and it sounds selfish but it feels very forced when I have to small talk with people and be "friendly" and stuff like that.
Well if anyone can offer any advice or a word if they know what I'm on about then feel free to do so.
I've come to the conclusion that I'm a kind of "social ******" in a way. For instance, when I'm in a conversation with someone, I reply with short answers and don't really look at them, but I can't help it. These sort of go against the "rules" of socialising or whatever, but I seem to break every rule.
All this isn't really a problem for me, but I realise that it's going to be a problem for everyone else, and especially as you need to socialise to get a job and function in society, I don't see myself being someone who can be one of those "team spirit" people (
) who work together with other people and I prefer doing things my own way. This is a weird problem, and I don't really know what it is, but yeah, I'm worried that because of the way I am, I won't be accepted and it's not like I really want to change either... and it sounds selfish but it feels very forced when I have to small talk with people and be "friendly" and stuff like that. Well if anyone can offer any advice or a word if they know what I'm on about then feel free to do so.
i know someone at uni who is exactly like this.
i understand that some people are just quiet, and shy to some extent...it's not that big a deal...i assume that it is something that bothers them if they feel that they are so socially inept that they can't make conversations with people...and they find it hard.
but also think about those people that are your friends...even if they are only friends by accident/coincidence or what ever....cos it can come across as just plain ignorant and rude. like this lass at uni...she's been hanging around with us for a year and a half and she still doesn't speak unless we ask her something...no matter how hard we try to get her involved...and after over a year we feel that she should make more of an effort....she doesn't talk to us but she still comes everywhere with us...it makes us feel like we've failed as friends to her and i dont think thats fair on us.
as you've said in your post...your worried that you wont be accepted, yet you dont feel like you want to change...as harsh as it might sound, you really cant have it both ways...i mean is it a confidence thing? cos there are lots of ways of getting around that...or is it more a case of you have nothing in common with these people? in which case have you thought about going out and finding people who share the same interests as you?
G4ry
Dare i say that adding people on MSN isn't exactly sociable unless you actually meet up with them. Sitting in a room chatting to 1000 people on the internet is not as sociable as going out with some friends. (Don't take it personally, just pointing something out.)
yeah you can make that point. I have met a number of my msn people but anyway that wasnt my point. Point is it should become fairly obvious that other people arent monsters or something to shy away from
Reply 16
superalex16
sh*t advice, its not everyone else's problem, its her problem. why? because at the end of the day it will be her miserable because of it and not other people. yeah your right its COMPLETELY other peoples fault when the thread-starter can barely talk to them or socially interact with them.
-----
-----
It's their fault since they cannot accept others for who they are. ALL people must eventually do this.
But no, everyone is uniform!! Everything's the same. Difference is EVIL!!!
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