Not having a bf

Im 21 and don't have a bf yet but my cousins 18 and my mum and relatives are constantly going on about how nice and polite she is which is ok but my mum keeps asking why I haven't got a bf and when she annoyed always brings it up that 'Im 21 and haven't even got a bf'. Ive got to on holiday soon and my cousins taking his gf so I'l be tagging along which Im not looking forward too, I hink his gf is 16 and I'l just feel stupid being single and 21.
Am I making a big deal over nothing? What should I think lol has any one else been in this situation?

Reply 1

Love_Hearts

9

just think of it this way: your better off being single rather than in a dead end relationship that is going nowhere and will only end in tears. youl find the right guy as and when it happens. as they say you dont go looking for love, it comes looking for you.
is there anyone that you have your eye on at the moment? prehaps arrange a few dates with a couple of guys you like or something along them lines. as for your mum id have thought she would be more supportive. 21 is still young, and youl have lots of reckless fun before you want to settle down.

Reply 2

Love_Hearts

just think of it this way: your better off being single rather than in a dead end relationship that is going nowhere and will only end in tears. youl find the right guy as and when it happens. as they say you dont go looking for love, it comes looking for you.
is there anyone that you have your eye on at the moment? prehaps arrange a few dates with a couple of guys you like or something along them lines. as for your mum id have thought she would be more supportive. 21 is still young, and youl have lots of reckless fun before you want to settle down.

Yea to be honest im not one for going out clubbing I just do my own thing really, ive always wondered if most people meet their partners in night clubs if so that might be why lol. Not got an eye on anyone at the moment :redface:

Reply 3

twiga

15

Just be happy in yourself. The moment you start looking for love is the moment you won't find it.

Reply 4

Love_Hearts

9

hummmm i think a lot of people meet there partners in clubs just because there more relaxed (alcohol playing a part here)...but theres plenty of other places and opportunities to meet some1. my mum and dad met in a park walking dogs....how very 101 dalmation-ish!

Reply 5

warranty-ideal

12

No biggy

just wait for the right person. Trust me, ive seen enough girls messed about by complete dicks!

Reply 6

psyche87

8

I'm 18, and I don't have a bf, though this is a personal choice - esp since chances are tt if I got together with any of the guys who'd asked me we'd be studying in different continents next year. Not good for a relationship...

Reply 7

ApeXaviour

7

Yeah I'm 22 and I'm single. But this is by choice, no really.

It's my second choice. :wink:

Love_Hearts

your better off being single rather than in a dead end relationship that is going nowhere and will only end in tears.

While that is bad, don't get me wrong. I think being longterm single is much worse. At least in the situation you describe you have someone to go to. Sure you won't be spending the rest of your life with, but at least there's someone there you have some feelings for. That you can look for physical intimacy off.. At least you're not alone.

Reply 8

Love_Hearts

9

I think being longterm single is much worse. At least in the situation you describe you have someone to go to. Sure you won't be spending the rest of your life with, but at least there's someone there you have some feelings for. That you can look for physical intimacy off.. At least you're not alone.

i can see your point but its not something i agree with personally. i would rather be single than unhappy in a relationship. afterall your partner is supposed to make u feel happy and not the other way round.

Reply 9

strawberry

13

I rather be single than have a boyfriend for the sake of shutting people up

Reply 10

ApeXaviour

7

Love_Hearts

i can see your point but its not something i agree with personally. i would rather be single than unhappy in a relationship. afterall your partner is supposed to make u feel happy and not the other way round.

Single in the short term yeah. but not in the long-term

I mean, would you rather be single, alone and depressed with no emotional prospects for the next three years? Or at least "try out" a couple people in that time frame?
For me the latter really outweighs the former.

Reply 11

loser88

12

i'm nearly 18 and have never had a boyfriend- i don't really see the point unless it's for love and that oppurtunity had not arisen as yet. and i'm not bothered: if it happens it happens, if not then life could be worse than a house-full of cats...unless you're allergic to cats...as that would be pretty sh*t... bascially i'm saying don't worry- my family are always like...WHAT no boyfriend she MUST be gay- i'm not so just tell them it's your life and you'll do things in your own time.

Reply 12

strawberry

13

I'm 17 actually...and the boyfriend I'm having is my first. :smile:

if I hadn't met my boyfriend, I would be single till I met him anyway... :smile:

and that would mean till I'm like 23 or something...seriously

Reply 13

Dekota

This dude here needs a girlfriend ... http://www.thestudentroom.co.uk/t196822.html

Reply 14

Sithius

16

Lol Dekota :P

If your mums asks why you don't have a boyfriend tell her to mind her own business...

Reply 15

strawberry

13

Dekota

This dude here needs a girlfriend ... http://www.thestudentroom.co.uk/t196822.html

lol dekota. funny

Reply 16

sealover

Girl,yes,i think,its time 4 u 2 catch ur Bf now,right?but u just take ur time

Reply 17

Helenia

20

Anonymous

Yea to be honest im not one for going out clubbing I just do my own thing really, ive always wondered if most people meet their partners in night clubs if so that might be why lol. Not got an eye on anyone at the moment :redface:

A few people meet long term partners clubbing, but to be honest it's a lame way to meet people for relationships because you can't speak to each other and most people are just out for a snog/whatever else they can get. So you're not missing out on too much there!

And no, you're not weird, I know quite a few people who've got this far without a proper boy/girlfriend. I was single until a couple of months before my 21st and yes, for a lot of that time I hated it. I won't patronise you with platitudes, because I know how much it sucks and how little they mean when you've been single that long. But you're NOT a freak and as long as you have a reasonable number of friends and keep busy and so on, eventually something will turn up...

Reply 18

Dramatic Star

2

Having no boyfriend is much better than having one for the sake of it. It's not the 'be all & end all' to have a boyfriend. Your time will come- just go out and enjoy yourself, you will find someone.

Reply 19

hollywollydoodle

1

im 18 and have only just got a boyfriend. But dont worry about it. Enjoy being single and it will come and find you when you least expect it - the guy im now with i totally didnt expect to get with and then it just happened.

Not having a bf

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