Is it Lust?

Naoimh

Okay here is the story! I am with someone now for over a year..and used to go with Ben for 3 years beforehand. Only recently Ben has started txtin me again about how he regret how things have turned out between us. The texts was full of remorse and then he started to txted me like a friend seeing what the craic was with me...only today i got a txt to say that he was revising and that he cud think of better things to do...! He sent me a txt sayin wat he would like to do *cough* wif me! i was sooo shocked! i thought he was tryin to be a friend..my friend thinks he is tryin to get back wif me..but i think this is a lust issue on his part??

Advice please!

You've got to give us more detail. What was your relationship with Ben like? How did he treat you? Did you love him? How was your break up? etc, etc, otherwise noone can give you an informed opinion if you only give us the barebones of the situation.

Reply 2

OP

The physical side of the relationship was brilliant..we did everything and everywhere! We both really loved each other and were really happy until we started our 2nd year in uni..we both made new friends and wanted to do different things so we broke up. it really broke my heart bec he was the first love of my life. Everybody always said that we were the couple and will always be the couple even if we r not together..

Reply 3

Do you know if he has been out with/slept with other girls since going out with you?

Reply 4

OP

I had to go home every year for 7 weeks on teaching practice so he stayed up in belfast..i heard rumours about girls trying to go with him but he said nothin ever happened wen we were going steady.

Reply 5

Naoimh

I had to go home every year for 7 weeks on teaching practice so he stayed up in belfast..i heard rumours about girls trying to go with him but he said nothin ever happened wen we were going steady.

I was talking about Ben, has he slept with/been with anyone since you two broke up?

Reply 6

OP

Yea i was talkin bot Ben..but that was wen we were goin steady. But since we broke up i dont know but i do know that he is goin steady now with another girl.

Reply 7

Naoimh

Yea i was talkin bot Ben..but that was wen we were goin steady. But since we broke up i dont know but i do know that he is goin steady now with another girl.

Well, if he's currently going steady with another girl, then it either seems like he's unhappy in his relationship and wants you back as he realises how much he misses you, ie. chances are he might not be lusting after you, or maybe he's broken up with his girlfriend and is on the rebound and wants some no-strings-attached sex with someone he knows and cares about.

To be honest, I can't really say either way - you know him infinitely better than me or anyone else on TSR, so I don't think that any of my input would be useful or productive, as I can't comment on a person's personality traits and their subsequent actions without knowing them properly. Sorry I can't be of any help.

Reply 8

OP

I know what u mean..i do appreciate it! i am developin feelings for him again..but i am afraid of gettin hurt again if what is he doing is just Lust..the idea of sleepin wif the ex girlfriend again is bound to excite him.

Reply 9

ladygrey

i would definitely not do anything physical with him while he is still with the other girl! but maybe arrange to talk?

Reply 10