boyfriends best friend..

I think its more of your bfs problem if he dosent want to spend time with you.

Reply 2

random123

2

Omg the guy is allowed to have friends and anyway, maybe your bf's friend just doesn't like you, maybe he thinks you're obsessive and clingy...

Reply 3

MNBStyle

pumpkin7

ever felt that your boyfriends best friend is out to make your life hell? like he makes sure he takes up all of your boyfriends spare time so you can't spend any time with him at all? and it feels like you just want to rip your boyfriends best friends head off?

yes it is me having another rant about my idiot boyfriend, and his strange love for his freak of a best friend.

Im already helping you as best i can right now :p:

So i dont need to make a comment here yet

Reply 4

OP

yes i know it is ok to have friends.. i'm not stupid..

but it isn't ok when he makes plans with me, and then conveniently 'forgets' about them so he can go have a nice 'sleepover' with his stupid, smelly, 'i've got my head up toms ass' friend.

Reply 5

pumpkin7

ever felt that your boyfriends best friend is out to make your life hell? like he makes sure he takes up all of your boyfriends spare time so you can't spend any time with him at all? and it feels like you just want to rip your boyfriends best friends head off?

yes it is me having another rant about my idiot boyfriend, and his strange love for his freak of a best friend.

Correct me if I'm wrong but your bf and his best friend were probably mates long before the two of you got together, so it is a bit harsh to expect him to shun him altogether in favour of you. It's not right that they should spend all their time together, but you've got to allow them to see eachother sometimes.

Reply 6

MNBStyle

jeff2233

Correct me if I'm wrong but your bf and his best friend were probably mates long before the two of you got together, so it is a bit harsh to expect him to shun him altogether in favour of you. It's not right that they should spend all their time together, but you've got to allow them to see eachother sometimes.

True, but i think the problem is, that its more than just Sometimes

Reply 7

Harv616

pumpkin7

yes i know it is ok to have friends.. i'm not stupid..

but it isn't ok when he makes plans with me, and then conveniently 'forgets' about them so he can go have a nice 'sleepover' with his stupid, smelly, 'i've got my head up toms ass' friend.

Like i said, its HIS problem, not his friends.

Just dump him and find somebody who actualy cares about you :rolleyes:

Reply 8

OP

i know - but not when he already made plans with me, and he also spends hours with him on his stupid game.

i just feel that i am constantly battling 'this friend for my bfs attention.. it's like, if i don't get there first and ask my bf to do something, then he will go and do something with his friend, and then while they are together, they will arrange things for the next week or so, so me and my boyfriend can't arrange anything anyway, because he has already promised his friend he would 'play a match' or 'go play tennis' or 'go play with each others balls.'

Reply 9

MNBStyle

True, but i think the problem is, that its more than just Sometimes

Yeah, and if that's the case then the OP's got every right to be p*ssed off. But there's got to be a bit of a balance, because if he is never allowed to see his mate he'll start to resent his gf and all hell will break loose.

Reply 10

OP

jeff2233

Yeah, and if that's the case then the OP's got every right to be p*ssed off. But there's got to be a bit of a balance, because if he is never allowed to see his mate he'll start to resent his gf and all hell will break loose.

first 5 months of our relationship, he didn't see him much at all.. fact - and i didn't even know about his friend then, so it wasn't my fault at all.. he chose to not be with him..

Reply 11

random123

2

You should respect your bf for sticking by his friend who, like jeff said, probably knew him well before you did. Just try to be more organised arranging things, and if your bf does arrange other things even if you've already got plans with him, then I suppose you could complain.

I don't think calling his mate 'smelly' and a 'freak' will help though, can't you just try to get along with him? If he's your bf's best mate, and you want to stay with your bf, then you'll have to get used to him, because I've got news for you, if he has to choose between him and you, he is going to pick him.

Reply 12

pumpkin7

first 5 months of our relationship, he didn't see him much at all.. fact - and i didn't even know about his friend then, so it wasn't my fault at all.. he chose to not be with him..

Fair enough. In that case I think it's ultimatum time... "Me or your friend". Seriously, if you don't make it 100% clear how much this winds you up, he'll never get the message. I'm certain it'd scare him into making some kind of decision.

Reply 13

Wineblood

I don't really agree with the OP, I lost 2 best friends because they suddenly had a girlfriend and decided to stop talking to their friends. Maybe your bf values his friends a lot more than you do. Just don't start going mental because he isn't with you all the time.

pumpkin7

i know - but not when he already made plans with me, and he also spends hours with him on his stupid game.

Excuse me ?? Stupid game ?? Games aren't stupid, and it would help if you specified which one(s) ??

Reply 14

OP

ah - i tried that before.. the whole 'me or him' thing, and he wouldn't answer, told his dad, and his dad got angry at me, saying it wasn't fair that i was trying to make him chose.
as for the making it clear how much it winds me up - he told me today at lunch that he couldn't see me this weekend because of his friend, i complained he said 'tough', and i was holding one of those lindt hollow rabbits... i angrily squashed it in my fist, and then as my boyfriend tried to eat some, i hit it out of his hand, trod on it, and said 'tough' back. he knows how much his friend annoys me, he knows how much his game annoys me, but if i bring it up any time, he jsut says i'm not giving him any space blah blah blah..
i think he thinks i give him no space because he never tries to get in contact with me, because he knows i will try and get in contact with him.. he knows that i won't not contact him, so he ..oh.. he takes it for granted that i will..
takes it.. takes me for granted. maybe i should just stop trying to arrange things and contact him, and make him do all the leg work for once instead.. but i know that if i don't get in contact, he won't bother because he will just keep thinking i will.. this is a vicious circle.

relationships are gay.

Reply 15

ApeXaviour

7

pumpkin7

ever felt that your boyfriends best friend is out to make your life hell? like he makes sure he takes up all of your boyfriends spare time so you can't spend any time with him at all? and it feels like you just want to rip your boyfriends best friends head off?

yes it is me having another rant about my idiot boyfriend, and his strange love for his freak of a best friend.

Aww.. For once I'm going to be genuinely sympathetic for you pumpkin :smile:

Though I don't usually agree with you, at least you speak what you think and don't hold back fair play.

Em honestly though I don't think there is much you can do directly. In that, if you try guilt or persuade him to spend more time with you as opposed to his friend it will likely backfire. What I do when I get with a new gf is try make an impression on their friends, be really amiable and friendly with them. Not only will your partner see you as compatible with their friends and thus bring you out with them. But they also may get a little jealous if you're off talking with their friends, they have your attention more than him/her. And they drag you away for more "alone" time. Hopefully you can draw something useful from this.

Reply 16

Wineblood

Excuse me ?? Stupid game ?? Games aren't stupid, and it would help if you specified which one(s) ??

Big mistake!!! (Covers ears and runs for shelter) :eek:

Reply 17

OP

Wineblood

I don't really agree with the OP, I lost 2 best friends because they suddenly had a girlfriend and decided to stop talking to their friends. Maybe your bf values his friends a lot more than you do. Just don't start going mental because he isn't with you all the time.

Excuse me ?? Stupid game ?? Games aren't stupid, and it would help if you specified which one(s) ??

****ing MEDAL OF HONOUR

and i've never had a best friend, or anyone i could really sacrifice for a boyfriend.. maybe i just 'dont understand'.. but c'mon.. this is stupid. saturday has been our day for the past 14 months.. why the hell does it change all of a sudden because his friend wants it to?

--------------

ApeXaviour

Aww.. For once I'm going to be genuinely sympathetic for you pumpkin :smile:

Though I don't usually agree with you, at least you speak what you think and don't hold back fair play.

Em honestly though I don't think there is much you can do directly. In that, if you try guilt or persuade him to spend more time with you as opposed to his friend it will likely backfire. What I do when I get with a new gf is try make an impression on their friends, be really amiable and friendly with them. Not only will your partner see you as compatible with their friends and thus bring you out with them. But they also may get a little jealous if you're off talking with their friends, they have your attention more than him/her. And they drag you away for more "alone" time. Hopefully you can draw something useful from this.

i've never got on with his friend.. i just hate him because he is always trying to take my bf away from me.. like my bf used to stay over on a saturday night, but then sunday morning, he would take off about 9am to go and play tennis.. i wanted to lie in bed and talk for a while but nooo.. soon as we woke up, he was gone.

Reply 18

pumpkin7

i've never got on with his friend.. i just hate him because he is always trying to take my bf away from me.. like my bf used to stay over on a saturday night, but then sunday morning, he would take off about 9am to go and play tennis.. i wanted to lie in bed and talk for a while but nooo.. soon as we woke up, he was gone.

Much as I sympathise with you, I'm starting to feel pretty sorry for your bf! It seems like you want him to stop doing everything he enjoys and spend all his time with you... if you were an old married couple it'd be fair enough I guess, but he's what, 17, 18? From what you've told us I think you're being a little unfair.

Reply 19

OP