Her cheating

hi
bin out wit this gurl for bout 4 months. Things goin well, i like her and she likes me. Her ex-bf of 4 years studies near by and she told me last week that about 1 month into our relationship, she was kissing him at a party i did not attend.
so how serious is this? Personally a little concerned that she may still be into this fella, and i know she will c him again in these weekly parties they go to (which im not invited to).
then again we got somethin gd goin on.
advice?

Reply 1

glitterlust

wel atleast she told u...maybe that means shes over him? has she done it since? its stil cheating however long uv been going out though. can u be invited to these parties? i know id be pissed if i got told that 4 months in..i know u like her n everythin but if its really got to u u need to talk to her...

Reply 2

ledleyKing

glitterlust

4 years is a long time and she said she'll always hav sum sort of feelings for him. and after that time she stopped goin to these parties (cos of him me thinks) but im thinkin this isnt gd in the long run. cos sooner or l8er they'll prob c one another again... i dont go to these parties because i dont no the people and i dont speak their language lol

Reply 3

Whizz

Do you trust her? If yes, then make it clear that you won't tolerate her unfaithfullness. If no, then finsish it. A relationship without trust is not really a relationship at all. GL x

Reply 4

glitterlust

its is a long time..n she wil have feelings but they dnt necessarily excuse her actions....

Reply 5

ledleyKing

i do trust her kinda. im encouraging her to attend these weekly parties. so that she will see his guy instead of hidin from him. im thinkin if she finds herself kissin him again then it'll show she cant let go and i'll be off. whereas it'l b gd for the both of us if she sees him and nothin happens. Is this a gd plan?- i do like her alot.

Reply 6

Whizz

Has she spoken to you about her feelings for him? What were the circumstances surrounding their breakup? These things are important. If they had a messy breakup and never really talked things things through, then there may be feelings which one or both parties may have. The most important thing is to talk to her about it. If she's open with you then you shouldn't ahve anything to worry about. If she's cagey then be on your gaurd - she may be hiding feelings.

Reply 7

glitterlust

why do u want her to see him so much? i understand if she sees him there she wont anywhere else...but its kinda tempting her dnt u think? seems bit silly waitin to see if she will do it again but i dnt know what to suggest...

Reply 8

ledleyKing

yeh it was a messy breakup. never really asked her but she said her family werent happy with it etc. she said they never really got the chance say bye and stuff which was why she got emotional that nite.

i wanna find out if she is still tempted and if she'll do nefin about it. cos if she is and she will then i dont fink we'll work. i'll tell her dat. im finkin this is better than worryin about whether she will meet him on the street etc.

Reply 9

Whizz

If she had a messy breakup and they left somethings unsaid, then it suggests to me that she still has feelings for him, which she needs to sort out before she can commit herself to you.

Encourage her to talk to her ex and offer your support. She'll appreciate it, trust me :wink:

Reply 10

ABeaverhausen

not that i'm a skank or anything, but i'm still attracted to some of my exes... it doesn't mean that i like whoever i'm with any less, but if my bf doesn't keep me 'on a leash' (hehe) i may still be tempted to make out with them if that opportunity arrises. i think its perfectly normal esp. if she's a sexual person... dont worry about it... i mean she is with you and not with him.

Reply 11

Mark_UK

I would be well annoyed if my gf did that but hey she told you so I would give her another chance but let it be known if you find out anything like this again it will be over. Tell her how much you like her and how much you want it to work. good luck