Thankyou so much for your lovely replies. I hope all goes well for you!
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Gap Year Misery/Depression-Help! :( watch
- Thread Starter
- 26-09-2011 20:24
- 26-09-2011 21:39
Life can sometimes be tough and I am sorry about your parents possible splitting up, but seriously, you have great grades and need to now get on with your life, move out of home and maybe give them a place to gain some peace of mind. You have the luxury of too much time on your hands: break your day into 2 hour slots and DO something with them.
Here are a few suggestions:
1 see someone unconnected with family and talk things through
2 voluntary work - nothing like it for appreciating what you have
3 get a job -any job which will give you a bit of money, so that you may have more choices
4 apply to UCAS but only after you spend time looking at courses in lovely places, which might give you some feeling of excitement about the whole thing
This is what you have going for you:
You are young
You are healthy
You have time to make decisions
You haven't got to support a mortgage, family etc etc
You are a little directionless at the moment; get free from what is holding you back. Only you can do this. And you CAN do this. Good luck.
From the mother of Molltroll - old, but wise enough to know that all this will sort out - give yourself time.
- 27-09-2011 02:02
Hey it's okay! I've just been kicked out of university for failing 1 module by 5% and now I am taking a forced gap year before being able to go back to university so you can talk to me if you want to feel better!
- 27-09-2011 02:04
Make the most of your gap yah! go help some less fortunate kids in africa
- 27-09-2011 02:11
You need to be doing something with your year out - volunteer, get a job, start a project or something.
- 27-09-2011 02:16
It sounds like summer's ended and now all your friends have gone off to university it feels like you're stagnating a bit. I think it's important that you try and get out of the habit of not wanting to do things; I understand how you feel, but now's the time when it's most important for you to force yourself to read, apply to UCAS and whatever other things occupied your mind beforehand.
You say that you're dissatisfied with your A level grades? Have you tried contacting local colleges and seeing if there's any chance you can enrol to do another A level so that you can bring your overall grades up and have something to do with your time? As well as that, consider that a gap year is a really good opportunity for you to pursue areas of English/History independently, which'd really benefit your personal statement. Bear in mind also that it's coming up to Christmas and so lots of places will be recruiting for seasonal staff. Again, it all comes down to forcing yourself to do stuff, but hand out CVs relentlessly and with a bit of luck you'll find something, even if it's just something ****ty over Christmas.
Finally, you say you don't feel like going to open days, but why not go and visit your friends at the unis that they are at to give you a taste of them? I know you're feeling down at the moment, but a lot of that is probably down to the loneliness of lots of your friends suddenly dissipating all over the country whilst you're stuck in less-than-pleasant circumstances at home.
Keep your chin up and try and keep yourself busy, and hopefully the feelings that you're having at the moment will eventually subside.
- 28-09-2011 00:55
I am going through the exact same thing, I am currently in a gap year and re-sitting but I rarely go into college (I don't need to and I can work from home). I hate it! all my friends are at uni and I am stuck trying to improve my grades. I think you should re-sit too if you want those A's and are capable of getting them. Like you I've lost all motivation, I ran away from an abusive family and now living with my best friends mum who is lovely but is rarely in. I'd love to travel but I am broke and haven't got a parent to aid me financially. I am lonely and my only companion most the time is a cat. All I do is watch shows, sleep and surf the internet.
It sucks I understand but you need to kick yourself in the backside (this goes for me too). I am looking for a job and you should too, you can also volunteer, re-sit your a-levels, motivate yourself, believe in yourself! you're intelligent and you can do anything if you put your mind to it. The doors are open, please don't let this feeling overwhelm you because you are capable.
If you want to chat more feel free to message me
For now peace out and good luck!
- 30-09-2011 17:02
I know the feeling! Except my firm university actually deferred me on results day to 2012 because they had accepted over their course quota and the majority got their grades so a handful of us were placed on forced deferral with the higher fees.
Obviously with an unconditional offer for next year I don't need to re-sit anything, but I know exactly what you mean about the depression. I have been applying for jobs everyday since the day after results day and I have had no luck thus far (most of them ignore me.) Unfortunately I live in the West Midlands which is infamously known for it's unemployment records the last few months, so I have a feeling I may struggle on that score!
Another thing is that I want to be able to travel; my parents being quite strict will not let me do this. Instead I enrolled on 3 language courses (language is something I pick up relatively easy) which I do 3 evenings a week. The problem with this is that I find myself bored in the daytime and I tend to get depressed after applying for jobs.
It's quite a horrible feeling knowing that I made friends with people going to the University I was meant to attend this year, especially as my boyfriend is there too, so I feel rather lonely being on my own here and after being a child carer for the entirety of my teenage years thus far, I haven't really developed into the social aspects of life.
I had the conversation about the lack of confidence with my boyfriend over the phone yesterday, the close people in my life have noticed my spark in History has gone (the degree I am studying 2012) and unfortunately I am unsure as to whether that confidence will come back to me. Here's another glitch; I suffer from Generalised Anxiety Disorder where stress doesn't help and being deferred this year has sort of sent me on a spiral downwards.
The best thing I can suggest is to take some time to see your friends at uni, you will hopefully regain your confidence (this is what my boyfriend has suggested for me, to go and stay with him for a few days, then go down every other weekend and help him with his work to try and regain my confidence. ( He is doing History too) and he has also offered to help me study for a scholarship exam my university are offering me to try and raise some finances that I wont have to pay back, even to the point of e-mailing him essays to read over!)
You just need a friend, a close friend to help you through it. Messages like "You'll be amazing next year!", "not long now, just keep your chin up" and "I'm here if ever you need to talk to me, if ever you need a friend," really do wonders.
I am here if you need someone to talk to or to help motivate the History side. We can help motivate and increase the confidence of each other! (:
- 04-10-2011 14:12
Understand your feeling. I just moved back from american after 6 years, only to get rejected from uni. I'm on an unplanned gap year, and bored out my mind.
All my friends in the US are at college and the time difference is a pain. I don't really know anyone in the area, and not really sure how to go out and meet people.
I don't have a job at the moment, and I am trying to find some volunteer opportunities or go travelling or something.
My home life is not wonderful. My grandma is ill at at the moment, and I fear that not all of her illnesses are entirely physically. My mum is kinda stuck looking after her as my Dad is constantly away for business. So 99% of the time, I feel completely alone.
I hate it at the moment. I feel like my parents are completely disappointed in me for not getting into uni. I'm probably even more disappointed in myself. I'm jealous of my friends for being at college and angry at them when we organise skype dates only they never come online.
But I am completely with everyone else on the thread, if you need someone to rant too and be motivated by, I can help with that I'm trying to stay positive and hope that sometime good will come out of this.
- 07-10-2011 12:09
Argh I know exactly what you're feeling. Looking around the posts on this gap year forum piss me off. Everyone seems to have tons of money from no where, and they all seem to be jetting off around the world to help orphans ect, with hundreds of other plans to fill up their year. And I just managed to get a full time in job in KFC haha. I'd love to go whale watching in Alaska or something, but it'll be like £3000. I don't get how so many people get to do cool stuff. And I'm uncertain if I still want to study philosophy. And my family are equally pissing me off. So I feel for you.
Okay rant over..