Sending flowers

This isn't the first time I've sent flowers to a girl. I did it once when things weren't going too great with this girl I was in love with (and I guess your mum doesn't count...).

I've been seeing this girl who recently told me I was taking things too seriously, that what we had was just a bit of fun. She even ended the whole thing by saying (by text) she was in love with someone else. She lives in a foreign country and even talking is a bit of a struggle sometimes as English isn't her first language. The whole thing has upset me, as things were going great the times I went to see her. She seemed like such a sweet girl and I guess the fact she's absolutely gorgeous made me a bit more infatuated. She said I took things too seriously but I never mentioned anything about going out with me and I was just enjoying my time with her, not really thinking too much but I certainly didn't hide the fact I really liked her.

I've thought about just forgetting about the whole thing but I find the whole thing hard to believe. I know there probably is someone else in the picture, that I guess she wasn't ready for someone to become attached to her but I really thought there was something there. I have this impression that maybe that if we actually talk (a bit difficult), we can at least explain things. It really seems like she just wanted to find a quick, easy way to stop me from becoming attached and used the excuse of being in love with someone. I don't think that calling her is going to work so I thought about sending her flowers.

First of all, how would you girls feel about receiving flowers from a guy you'd "been with" (I hope that's explicit enough) for not too long? Or how do you feel about receiving flowers in general? This girl is probably a bit older, bear that in mind.

Now imagine you're this girl, how would you feel about receiving flowers or maybe just a flower at work: flattered, touched, creeped out?

Reply 1

Becca L

i would be flattered if i got flowers i would think that my boyfriend thinks of me every time (well somthing like that) my boyfriend has never sent me flowers

Reply 2

q1w2e3r4t5y

It's a sweet gesture. I'd feel flattered and touched :smile:

Reply 3

Catski

Seems to lack effort to my mind... I mean, I'm sure its very romantic but its also lacks the personal thing.

Reply 4

bewithoutyou

It honestly depends on how she feels about you. When my boyfriend and I hadn't been together too long and I was having a stressful time, he sent me flowers and it melted my heart. My ex (who's still a good friend) also sent me flowers to say that he missed me, and I was really touched by that. In general you can't go wrong with flowers. I think they're a lovely gesture, but it's hard to say: if she's really not into you at all then she may well feel a bit creeped out by it. However, I'd say you perhaps don't have much to lose by giving it a shot...?

Reply 5

Love_Hearts

9

it depends on how she feels about you i suppose. when i worked in an office over the summer one woman was always recieving flowers off some bloke and she threatened to get the police on him - but to be far he was stalking her outside of work and sent her flowers every day for 2 weeks!
has she given you any indication of there being a chance of you 2 geting back together? if so then prehaps it would be a thoughtful idea to send her some. but to be honest if like you said she just wanted a bit of fun prehaps sending flowers with freak her out a bit, because symbolically its something a serious relationship suggests. go with your heart i say

Reply 6

bewithoutyou

Hmm, on reading your post again, such a romantic gesture may not be the best way to show you're taking things less seriously...?

Reply 7

hugatree

11

Catski

Seems to lack effort to my mind... I mean, I'm sure its very romantic but its also lacks the personal thing.

I'd have to disagree. People don't send flowers much these days it's sad. I would LOVE to get flowers from my bf I think it's very sweet. :smile:

Good on you OP. Sorry to hear about the foreign girl who broke up. :hugs:

Reply 8

Becca L

i would be flattered if i got flowers i would think that my boyfriend thinks of me every time (well somthing like that) my boyfriend has never sent me flowers

I haven't really had many long-term serious girlfriends I've been able to send flowers to. I definitely have a different attitude to friends. I have a lot of friends who say they would never send flowers to a girl, especially if they knew they weren't going to get anything out of it.

It just seems like something nice to do. I'm just worried that it will confirm the idea that I'm taking things seriously. Unfortunately, with her abroad, I can't just act cool. In that case, it means I forget about the whole thing. She just seems worth the effort.

Reply 9

anjimcflanji

1

make sure she doesn't have hayfever...that would be a big mistake on the other chocolates really go down well...or there's ballooninabox.com theyre cool. In all honesty what girl doesnt want someone to send her stuff as long as it isn't you declaring undying love she'll like it!!

Reply 10

Becca L

i understand were you are coming from i do think that she might think things are going serious in that case of sending flowers

Reply 11

Catski

Seems to lack effort to my mind... I mean, I'm sure its very romantic but its also lacks the personal thing.

Well I guess that's where the message (not sure I'll attempt a poem or I'm really going to screw things up) comes into play.

bewithoutyou

Hmm, on reading your post again, such a romantic gesture may not be the best way to show you're taking things less seriously...?

That's the problem. She's been with a long-term boyfriend for 7 years who she broke up with a year or two ago and I think that she's not the kind of girl to get emotionally attached too easily or at least she's trying not to. I honestly doubt that if I had acted cool it would have helped things much. I'm wondering if she's not just a bruised romantic, if you know what I mean.

Maybe I'm just hoping that she'll be touched and in effect, she's just going to be creeped out even more by a guy who's too much into her.

To be a bit more explicit, things went very far almost immediately (which might explain why she sees the whole thing as a bit of fun). I just thought there might be a spark there. Maybe not :frown:

Reply 12

bewithoutyou

Anonymous

That's the problem. She's been with a long-term boyfriend for 7 years who she broke up with a year or two ago and I think that she's not the kind of girl to get emotionally attached too easily or at least she's trying not to. I honestly doubt that if I had acted cool it would have helped things much. I'm wondering if she's not just a bruised romantic, if you know what I mean.

Maybe I'm just hoping that she'll be touched and in effect, she's just going to be creeped out even more by a guy who's too much into her.

To be a bit more explicit, things went very far almost immediately (which might explain why she sees the whole thing as a bit of fun). I just thought there might be a spark there. Maybe not :frown:

I can completely understand this situation. It could really go either way, and I think the message that accompanies the flowers is absolutely the crucial bit. I've been in a roughly similar situation myself and my boyfriend got me to fall in love despite it; the distance makes it harder but if she's worth the effort then go for it buddy. PM me if you'd like to talk about it further and perhaps plan the message. And good luck xx

Reply 13

beanie

1

I would hate to receive flowers. I think its really unromantic as its such a cliche now and its a waste of money. I'd never buy flowers for anyone so I wouldn't want them to waste their money doing it for me. I also think chocolates and stuffed animals are stupid. My boyfriend knows my feelings about this so luckily we're ok, and hes not the flowers sending guy anyway... I just think that as they're going to die in a few days there is no point. Individual little things are much better as they mean so much more, stuff like random songs, even just a special line from a song, always make me think aww :love:

If someone sent me something at work I would just be really really embarrassed and want to sink into a hole in the ground. That would be the case regardless of whether I'd 'known' the guy 5 minutes or 5 years. I think it would just scare me, as work is work, and boyfriends aren't at work.... unless you happen to work with them.

Not all girls are like me though, I guess it totally depends on what kind of girl she is as it could go either way.

Reply 14

bewithoutyou

I can completely understand this situation. It could really go either way, and I think the message that accompanies the flowers is absolutely the crucial bit. I've been in a roughly similar situation myself and my boyfriend got me to fall in love despite it; the distance makes it harder but if she's worth the effort then go for it buddy. PM me if you'd like to talk about it further and perhaps plan the message. And good luck xx

Well I'm like that unfortunately. No self-respect or pride :frown:

If I think a girl is worth it and that acting cool is not going to lead to anything, I'm capable of lowering myself to the point of ridicule, try everything to get her. Fortunately it's not happened too many times.

How old are you by the way? Thanks for the offer but I think I'll have to plan a message myself.

Reply 15

bewithoutyou

Anonymous

Well I'm like that unfortunately. No self-respect or pride :frown:

If I think a girl is worth it and that acting cool is not going to lead to anything, I'm capable of lowering myself to the point of ridicule, try everything to get her. Fortunately it's not happened too many times.

How old are you by the way? Thanks for the offer but I think I'll have to plan a message myself.

I'm 21, how about you? And no problem at all, just know I'm here for a female perspective if you want to talk about any of it :smile:

Reply 16

What's best in my situation here: just a small flower, a bouquet... or even a flowery plant? :confused:

How would you interpret receiving each of these?

Reply 17

*SnowWhite*

Anonymous

She just seems worth the effort.

Yeah I would be flattered. :smile:

I deffinatly feel special and that I'm worth the effort if I recieved them. I would love my BF to send me flowers but ah well.

Reply 18

bewithoutyou

Anonymous

What's best in my situation here: just a small flower, a bouquet... or even a flowery plant? :confused:

How would you interpret receiving each of these?

Personally I'd opt for a bouquet... a single flower says desperately romantic to me, and a flowery plant is a bit like something you'd get your mum :rolleyes:

A pretty bouquet is somewhere in between. (I clearly have too strong opinions on flowers...)

Reply 19

jason01

2

bouquet is prob the best

Sending flowers

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