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    It's a recent thing. He admitted he puts on a show for me and the rest of the time he's just numb. Doesn't feel anything, as in hunger, pain, emotions, and more... It's pretty crushing, but I'm not bothered about that. He had a heap of blood tests today to try and rule out any physical issues.
    I feel as if I don't know what to say to him anymore. Like I just want to be able to support him, but I don't know how. Do I remind him to eat? Or does that seem pushy? He goes for days without eating because he's just not hungry. He seems happy enough around me but I just feel like it's all false. Anyone else been in this situation?
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    Having depression myself I find its worse when you keep questioning like 'are you happy' etc and try not be patronising. Find out what he enjoys or what he does to feel happy and try do that to distract him.
    Most the time I have an episode I just need to be alone, but sometimes it helps having a friend nearby to chat to or to distract me.
    Depression is a tricky thing to deal with especially if your watching someone else with it.
    Wish I could help more, but not sure what to actually offer sorry!
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    Be you. He's dating you for a reason, so try and keep that reason going. You don't want to push anything, just be accepting when he tells you stuff. He'll open up more and more and then you can slowly start to help, but as it is, just be there.
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    you need to find out the reason WHY he is depressed. once you work that out, maybe you can find a solution. until then, keep him company because he sounds like he could be destructive to himself.. good luck
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    #2

    Yeah I know how you feel, my girlfriend's the same, she's always been like that but it's worse now since I'm spending a semester abroad. She tells me she's numb to everything all the time and when we talked about splitting up before I went away she said she didn't feel sad or angry or anything - that kind of hurt. I know it's not her fault but it's frustrating when you can't help, and everything you try fails.

    At least he's going to the doctor's to see if there's something he can do. The worst is when they refuse to help themselves... Just be there when he needs you and like others have said, don't push things because he could get upset or angry.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    It's a recent thing. He admitted he puts on a show for me and the rest of the time he's just numb. Doesn't feel anything, as in hunger, pain, emotions, and more... It's pretty crushing, but I'm not bothered about that. He had a heap of blood tests today to try and rule out any physical issues.
    I feel as if I don't know what to say to him anymore. Like I just want to be able to support him, but I don't know how. Do I remind him to eat? Or does that seem pushy? He goes for days without eating because he's just not hungry. He seems happy enough around me but I just feel like it's all false. Anyone else been in this situation?
    Being depressed is probably one of the worst psychological states a person can be in. Especially when it is long term. Have you spoken to him regarding when his depression sparked up and started? What triggered it? It seems to me that if he doesn't feel basic human emotions he's probably been depressed for a very long time, and it's possible he's previously given up on his life. Does your boyfriend have any life goals he has set? Is it because he's or he was lonely or something tragic happened in his life? Ask him why he feels that way, why he feels numb. It's not really a matter of reminding your boyfriend when to eat or feel pain or be patronising in that sense. You have to make him question his life, his motives, and why he's feeling this way. The support you can give him is to be there for him when he is in times of deep depression, comfort him, help him recover, and keep him happy. If you can keep your boyfriend happy, he would probably be cured without even knowing it.
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    It would be nice if you could randomly hug or kiss him so that he would know that you care for him no matter what.

    Sitting beside him without talking keeping him company or just talk about what he wants to talk about or listen to also would help.

    It's hard OP, I understand. I'm facing depression as well and whoever wants to stay with me will face a roller coaster ride if they want to stay with me.
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    Don't be asking him if he's alright all the time jeeeez, just smile at him, sorted.

    When you get something to eat, ask if he wants anything or if he's getting anything etc.

    Oh and good idea to not become 'a helper'. Your not together to get him away from depression. Your not going to save him. I cbfa typing more it's late sorry just google it maybe.

    And random hugs 100%!
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    He said it started like this summer, after he knew his exams had gone badly. He missed a lot of school because he was very I'll this year but I think the whole thing may have triggered it. His Dad's made him restart sixth form and everything post results... He doesn't have goals, he almost feels as if he was made to take over his Dad's company..


    Thanks for everyone's advice - really helpful c:
    • #3
    #3

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    He said it started like this summer, after he knew his exams had gone badly. He missed a lot of school because he was very I'll this year but I think the whole thing may have triggered it. His Dad's made him restart sixth form and everything post results... He doesn't have goals, he almost feels as if he was made to take over his Dad's company..


    Thanks for everyone's advice - really helpful c:
    Out of curiosity, did it change your views against him. I hope you could be honest because I have depression as well and I'm getting sick of people telling me how they hope to that I feel better and not knowing what they actually think about the illness.
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    You just need to be there for him. As people have said, he's with you for a reason and if you can see past his depression for the person he is, then he's lucky to have you.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    It's a recent thing. He admitted he puts on a show for me and the rest of the time he's just numb. Doesn't feel anything, as in hunger, pain, emotions, and more... It's pretty crushing, but I'm not bothered about that. He had a heap of blood tests today to try and rule out any physical issues.
    I feel as if I don't know what to say to him anymore. Like I just want to be able to support him, but I don't know how. Do I remind him to eat? Or does that seem pushy? He goes for days without eating because he's just not hungry. He seems happy enough around me but I just feel like it's all false. Anyone else been in this situation?
    Then why are you even with him you silly silly girl.
 
 
 
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