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    I don’t know what to do.

    I’m moving into my 2nd year at what is a very good university, but probably the first or second least social university in the UK (or the world?) I’m basically pretty damn miserable.

    I live with three others. We get on, but we have all acknowledged really, that I have the least in common with them. I don’t actually share any hobbies or interests with the other three. But hey, we get on so living in a flat together seemed like a natural move. Although in the last week or so I’ve grown to get very, very pissed off with one flatmate. I have a journal that I write just for myself, and I realised that I actually wrote four pages in size 11 font in a rant about him. I have very good reasons to be annoyed but I won’t write an essay about it here. I’m beginning to suspect that he is autistic or something though, as he cannot tell when I’m annoyed, and he just seemed very selfish and tend to only laugh when it’s at someone else’s expense.... I don’t know. I’ll probably never mention it (or snap one day). One of the two.

    The other two flatmates are fine. One doesn’t like going out and doing anything very much though. The other sort of does, but he only tends to go clubbing without his housemtes. I get the feeling that he doesn’t like me coming along so I don’t. Yesterday I was in the flat all day with him, but as soon as I go to the local shop, he’s gone out. The day before that he said he’d text me if he goes clubbing (as he was going to see some friends) but the text never came. Maybe I embarrass him or something. I don’t mention it, as it would be awkward…

    So okay, social life isn’t great there. What about other friends? Well, they don’t go out all that much either. Not the ones I know. I know some others, but not really well enough to text them and meet up yet, really. I don’t really know how I can build on those friendships really. They’re like friends or friends and I barely meet up with the mutual friend(s) as they don’t often do anything (that I know of).

    What about meeting new friends? That would be good. I am going to join a few more societies this year. Although there are actually VERY few a societies that are actually just for fun, and not for career or particular nationality. My university has a reputation of having a pretty **** social life and student union, so I haven’t got high hopes for that. My other plan of action is to ask this girl out that I know a bit, but not that well...I don't know how interested she is/was... To be honest, at this point, I would rather try and then get shot down because anything is better than this right now.

    So can do I do? I know I’m a bit of a weird guy, and not the most social – I might be a little shy, and I’m very self-conscious about my looks for example - but even worse, what little confidence I did have about my social sills, has been eroded away by how poor my social life has been the last year. You know I lived in uni halls last year, but didn’t even know the ****ing names of my flatmates? God knows I tried talking to people… It makes me think that either I really freak everybody out I meet, or the majority of people I meet here are weird/not very social. It’s just destroyed my confidence, and makes getting out of the sad situation I am in even worse.

    Please help.
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    Sounds like you're looking into each detail far too much.

    Just because he didn't text you doesn't mean he's plotting a death trap for you. Maybe he just forgot.
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    • Thread Starter
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    Maybe. Like I say, lack of any sort of social life has destroyed my confidence. Like the other day, I asked a friend if we're doing anything for another friend's birthday, but she never replied back, so I just assume that they already did something and I wasn't invited, or that nobody can be asked to go out (with me).

    I'd just like suggestions s to how to improve my social life, if I'm honest.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I don’t know what to do.

    I’m moving into my 2nd year at what is a very good university, but probably the first or second least social university in the UK (or the world?) I’m basically pretty damn miserable.

    I live with three others. We get on, but we have all acknowledged really, that I have the least in common with them. I don’t actually share any hobbies or interests with the other three. But hey, we get on so living in a flat together seemed like a natural move. Although in the last week or so I’ve grown to get very, very pissed off with one flatmate. I have a journal that I write just for myself, and I realised that I actually wrote four pages in size 11 font in a rant about him. I have very good reasons to be annoyed but I won’t write an essay about it here. I’m beginning to suspect that he is autistic or something though, as he cannot tell when I’m annoyed, and he just seemed very selfish and tend to only laugh when it’s at someone else’s expense.... I don’t know. I’ll probably never mention it (or snap one day). One of the two.

    The other two flatmates are fine. One doesn’t like going out and doing anything very much though. The other sort of does, but he only tends to go clubbing without his housemtes. I get the feeling that he doesn’t like me coming along so I don’t. Yesterday I was in the flat all day with him, but as soon as I go to the local shop, he’s gone out. The day before that he said he’d text me if he goes clubbing (as he was going to see some friends) but the text never came. Maybe I embarrass him or something. I don’t mention it, as it would be awkward…

    So okay, social life isn’t great there. What about other friends? Well, they don’t go out all that much either. Not the ones I know. I know some others, but not really well enough to text them and meet up yet, really. I don’t really know how I can build on those friendships really. They’re like friends or friends and I barely meet up with the mutual friend(s) as they don’t often do anything (that I know of).

    What about meeting new friends? That would be good. I am going to join a few more societies this year. Although there are actually VERY few a societies that are actually just for fun, and not for career or particular nationality. My university has a reputation of having a pretty **** social life and student union, so I haven’t got high hopes for that. My other plan of action is to ask this girl out that I know a bit, but not that well...I don't know how interested she is/was... To be honest, at this point, I would rather try and then get shot down because anything is better than this right now.

    So can do I do? I know I’m a bit of a weird guy, and not the most social – I might be a little shy, and I’m very self-conscious about my looks for example - but even worse, what little confidence I did have about my social sills, has been eroded away by how poor my social life has been the last year. You know I lived in uni halls last year, but didn’t even know the ****ing names of my flatmates? God knows I tried talking to people… It makes me think that either I really freak everybody out I meet, or the majority of people I meet here are weird/not very social. It’s just destroyed my confidence, and makes getting out of the sad situation I am in even worse.

    Please help.
    sorry to hear about ur situation.. I hope that it gets better for you.am sure u will be fine and freinds will come along wen u least expect it at uni
 
 
 
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