Was it rude of me to phone her on her mobile like this... Watch

Anonymous #1
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Report Thread starter 7 years ago
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I started applying for jobs recently, and asked my swim coach at the end of a training session if I could put her down as a reference for some part-time work. She said "Yes, sure. No problem. I'll meet you outside and give you my email address and contact details". (I thought she meant outside as in after I've gotten changed. She has a son that swims too so she'd have been waiting for him). I got changed quickly and found that she'd left, so I asked one of the other coaches if she was there. The other coach asked if I wanted her number, and as I planned to quit swimming decided to ring her the next day to ask for contact details.
As soon as I rang she was like "How did you get my number?" She sounded pretty annoyed. I told her another mum from swimming gave it me. The conversation afterwards was a bit awkward.
I had thought about perhaps going to one more swim session to ask her in person for contact details, and maybe I should have. She did give me them over the phone, and I thanked her, but I'm not sure I should put her down as a reference anymore.
I'm not sure what to do. I bought her some chocolates and a card before I left swimming.
Basically, was it rude of me to phone her mobile number after having been given it by someone else? :confused:
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Anonymous #1
#2
Report Thread starter 7 years ago
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EDIT: I called at 6:30pm yesterday btw.
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angelbones
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#3
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Hmm. Not exactly rude, but I'd be a bit peed off if someone gave someone else my number without letting me know.
Would probably have been better to wait and ask her in person, but hey ho, it's done now.

If you're really bothered by it, write to her/email her/however you normally contacted her and apologise for phoning her explaining that you were given the number by another coach who didn't know where she was. Say that you really didn't mean to seem rude. You can also ask her then if she's still willing to be a referee for you, because you feel uncomfortable just putting her down after that.

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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by angelbones)
Hmm. Not exactly rude, but I'd be a bit peed off if someone gave someone else my number without letting me know.
Would probably have been better to wait and ask her in person, but hey ho, it's done now.

If you're really bothered by it, write to her/email her/however you normally contacted her and apologise for phoning her explaining that you were given the number by another coach who didn't know where she was. Say that you really didn't mean to seem rude. You can also ask her then if she's still willing to be a referee for you, because you feel uncomfortable just putting her down after that.

Thanks. I did consider going to ask in person again and I wouldn't have asked for her number from someone else. I guess I was offered it and I hesitated but once I'd been given it thought I may as well phone rather than go in. :/
I thought she'd be ok with it because I once overheard her ask a swimmer for someone else's number.
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Callaghan
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#5
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She sounds like a moody cow.
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silverbolt
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#6
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not rude of you but the person who gave it you needs a slap
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Anonymous #1
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I'm not sure on whether to go to a job interview tomorrow. :/
I only got a call today asking if I could go in, and now I feel silly because I don't know if I can put her down as a reference. It's too late to ask anyone else.
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angelbones
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I'm not sure on whether to go to a job interview tomorrow. :/
I only got a call today asking if I could go in, and now I feel silly because I don't know if I can put her down as a reference. It's too late to ask anyone else.
Then I'd say put her down, but definitely email her or go and see her to apologise for phoning her.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by angelbones)
Then I'd say put her down, but definitely email her or go and see her to apologise for phoning her.
Do you not think she'll be annoyed at me for contacting her again, but by email?
She's always been a little unpredictable with her behaviour (I've found on some days she can be grumpy for no apparent reason with swimmers - not just me. But she'd been really nice the past few months and I didn't want to ask my form teacher as I don't think she knows me very well).
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angelbones
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Do you not think she'll be annoyed at me for contacting her again, but by email?
She's always been a little unpredictable with her behaviour (I've found on some days she can be grumpy for no apparent reason with swimmers - not just me. But she'd been really nice the past few months and I didn't want to ask my form teacher as I don't think she knows me very well).
As long as you're very polite and apologetic, she has no reason to be grumpy.

Just give it a go
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RainbowDoll
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#11
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I would be a little bit miffed if someone was just giving out my phone number without asking me about it first. But it's not your fault and I don't think it would have been you that she was annoyed at. If I was in your position I would have probably rang her too. I would still put her down as a reference, she said you could and I don't see what you have done wrong really.
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Shockley
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#12
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Sounds like she was just in a bad mood, don't take it personally. Some people (myself included) just don't like their phone number being given out willy nilly by others.

Keep her as a reference, you'd be silly not to.
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