Hi all,
Though this is better placed in the 'Current Medical Students' sub-forum, I am posting it here as I wish to remain anonymous, hope that is OK with the moderators.
I have recently started my 3rd year of medical school, after a busy summer doing university work. I am currently feeling very burned out and I have my preclinical exams in January, which I have to pass in order to progress onto the second half ( full-time clinical work) of the course. However, I am not feeling ready to even begin preparation for this preclinical exam.
Since this year began, my mental health has gone very downhill. I have Generalised Anxiety Disorder, and now I am sure all this constant anxiety is leading to my depression, though my therapist isn't really aware of this as I don't see her very often. Both the anxiety and depression are really giving me a hard time now, and I feel so demotivated to study. I feel as though this has all become too much for me to handle at the moment, and I just don't feel confident about this preclinical exam. Also, the last thing I want to do is continue with my course half-heartedly and then fail my preclinical exams, which would put me at risk of being kicked out.
Because of all this, over the past few days( when I've been feeling particularly low) I have been contemplating whether I should take this year out( as this is the only time out I could take with this course) and return next year to re-start 3rd year. I have always wanted to take a gap year, during which I would take up a full-time job and I would really want to work in Canada full-time for an extended period of time. However, this prospect does seem daunting at the same time, and I feel that one year is quite some time to take out. Then my mind swings to the other view, as I didn't take a gap year after leaving college. There are many people I know who have had to resit a year, or also took a year out and worked/travelled etc.
I don't know what I should do, and don't know whether it is too late to even take this year out now? My personal tutor is aware that I have been having mental health problems, though she has not been made aware of all these recent deteriorations. On the one hand, I feel it will be beneficial for me to take some time out and regain a fresh perspective, whilst also learning new things and treating myself better. On the other, I think that one year is too much time to 'waste' from medicine and essentially, I would have lost a year. I think harshly and say to myself " I wouldn't even be considering this if I wasn't so weak inside!"
What advice do you guys and girls have? What do you think is the best option for me to take? Bear in mind, I haven't told my parents about any of this, so I don't really know what their reactions would be like yet. Though I'm hoping they would understand.
To be honest, the thing that is causing me all the difficulties is the anxiety and depression. I would say these are the root cause of me having to think about taking a year out. It's just that anxiety and depression can be so vicious, for some time you're going steadily and then you go downhill etc. It's this sort of cycle which puts me off from sitting my preclinical exams in January. To succeed, I think there should be no obstacles to your personal motivation, determination and mental health. Or you think that one can still succeed despite having these issues?
Thanks