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    I know there's probably hundreds of girls out there who were/are in the same situation as me.....
    i'm not an 'ugly' girl, and i'm not being big-headed but people do say i'm pretty etc. but when it comes to boys, i have no luck

    I don't really have many male friends because i'm just too shy to speak to them first in case they think something bad of me

    My friends say guys always 'check me out' like on the street or wherever which i DO notice but i don't agree they're checking me out because i just dont have that confidence to believe they actually find me attractive

    so anyway, i was in a club the other day and there was a good looking guy who just happened to come and sit in the spare seat next to me and some other girl on the sofa. I really wanted to speak to him but i feared rejection and then after about 5 mins he went off somewhere
    in clubs guys look at me but they never approach me, why is this? i'm always laughing/smiling so i don't see how i'm so unapproachable because i don't think i come across as a moody b***h or anything to put them off?
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    These days it's a little more 50/50 when it comes to hitting on someone, you have to put a little work in yourself, if you're not gonna say hi at least do everything but and make it obvious with your body language that you're ok with him starting a convo with you.

    Pro tip: don't look for guys in clubs unless you're after a quick shag. This is rule no. 1.

    Shyness is an extremely attractive quality in girls that almost all guys love, and in a country where your average 20-something girl is a loud mouth club rat, it makes you something of a catch. Good luck!
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    One word...smile
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I know there's probably hundreds of girls out there who were/are in the same situation as me.....
    i'm not an 'ugly' girl, and i'm not being big-headed but people do say i'm pretty etc. but when it comes to boys, i have no luck

    I don't really have many male friends because i'm just too shy to speak to them first in case they think something bad of me

    My friends say guys always 'check me out' like on the street or wherever which i DO notice but i don't agree they're checking me out because i just dont have that confidence to believe they actually find me attractive

    so anyway, i was in a club the other day and there was a good looking guy who just happened to come and sit in the spare seat next to me and some other girl on the sofa. I really wanted to speak to him but i feared rejection and then after about 5 mins he went off somewhere
    in clubs guys look at me but they never approach me, why is this? i'm always laughing/smiling so i don't see how i'm so unapproachable because i don't think i come across as a moody b***h or anything to put them off?
    Imagine if you were male. You'd be utterly screwed.

    Anyway, if you had two brain cells, you'd realise why guys don't approach you - because they fear rejection. Act more friendly or actually strike a conversation with a guy yourself (stop being a lazy **** and be proactive for once in your life).
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    1) Who is the people who tell you you're pretty?

    2) I think you have a good body but your face is lacking. I check out girls with good bodies but I never approach them 'cause they mostly don't have a pretty face. Do you have a good body? Bum? Etc etc

    3) This is Britain, most people don't like interaction with strangers. So, if you want a guy go after him.

    4) If you were really pretty, I'm sorry to say this but you'd have been spoken too. I know Muslim girls who wear headscarf and traditional Islamic clothing (jilbab) yet still get approached because they're pretty. There are virtually no pretty-faced girls who don't get approached.
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    (Original post by Xenopain)
    4) If you were really pretty, I'm sorry to say this but you'd have been spoken too. I know Muslim girls who wear headscarf and traditional Islamic clothing (jilbab) yet still get approached because they're pretty. There are virtually no pretty-faced girls who don't get approached.

    This. No offence to OP but you may not be as pretty as you think you are. Being called pretty by female friends doesn't really count because they will (usually) lie to you so you're left with male validation only. And since that's lacking... it's no surprise we're sceptical. Maybe you are pretty but you're one of those girls who have a permanent screwface without realising? Or perhaps... your face is busted but your body is ideal. Dunno. So many possibilities. If I'm wrong on all counts you should just do the approaching yourself. If you're as pretty as you have been told, they'll welcome the attention.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I know there's probably hundreds of girls out there who were/are in the same situation as me.....
    i'm not an 'ugly' girl, and i'm not being big-headed but people do say i'm pretty etc. but when it comes to boys, i have no luck

    I don't really have many male friends because i'm just too shy to speak to them first in case they think something bad of me

    My friends say guys always 'check me out' like on the street or wherever which i DO notice but i don't agree they're checking me out because i just dont have that confidence to believe they actually find me attractive

    so anyway, i was in a club the other day and there was a good looking guy who just happened to come and sit in the spare seat next to me and some other girl on the sofa. I really wanted to speak to him but i feared rejection and then after about 5 mins he went off somewhere
    in clubs guys look at me but they never approach me, why is this? i'm always laughing/smiling so i don't see how i'm so unapproachable because i don't think i come across as a moody b***h or anything to put them off?

    For me, personally, that's the problem. It ain't a problem for most but for me personally yes. It's your shyness. I prefer a girl who is self confident and flirtatious. But if your shy, that is fine, as your being yourself rather than someone else. Someday, you'll find a right guy but probably just not at the club.

    Clubs...in my view is for a quick fix, depending how you play your game. I rarely see anyone who dated someone in a club are in married but it aint impossible. Just most guys in clubs (not all) are after fun. Vice versa for girls too.

    Depends who you are, what you look like, and whether your their type. If its all yes, there is hardly a no answer to making out or having fun.
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    Here's an idea, why don't YOU approach them instead eh? Don't expect that just because you're "pretty" everything will come to you in life.
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    Taking the initiaive/being pro-active will help you with talking to guys and flirting in club-like environments, where everyone is just looking for a good time.

    You might be pretty, sure, but since you're shy as well, your body language, facial gestures and lack of eye contact will give off a negative impression to the guys who might be thinking about approaching you.

    Time to overcome the fear of rejection and flirt more with guys Guys fear rejection as well, so if you see a good-looking guy trying to make eye contact with you, go over and introduce yourself :awesome:
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    (Original post by SugarPuffs)
    Taking the initiaive/being pro-active will help you with talking to guys and flirting in club-like environments, where everyone is just looking for a good time.

    You might be pretty, sure, but since you're shy as well, your body language, facial gestures and lack of eye contact will give off a negative impression to the guys who might be thinking about approaching you.

    Time to overcome the fear of rejection and flirt more with guys Guys fear rejection as well, so if you see a good-looking guy trying to make eye contact with you, go over and introduce yourself :awesome:
    that's the thing, i don't act shy when i'm out and about, i mean i'm shy when a guy speaks to me. So for example in a club, i dance with my friends laughing and joking, i see guys, i look at them - eyecontact etc. i don't shy away like that, it's just when i come into face contact with them and talk to them, but thanks for your comment
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    that's the thing, i don't act shy when i'm out and about, i mean i'm shy when a guy speaks to me. So for example in a club, i dance with my friends laughing and joking, i see guys, i look at them - eyecontact etc. i don't shy away like that, it's just when i come into face contact with them and talk to them, but thanks for your comment
    So you're not scared of making eye contact? you're just scared of face-to-face conversation with a guy.

    Well you can still flirt with your eyes I suppose enough flirty eye contact and open friendly body language will invite him over, but like someone else has said, shy girls are attractive as well as/maybe more than the loud, obnoxious girls
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    (Original post by Xenopain)
    1) Who is the people who tell you you're pretty?

    2) I think you have a good body but your face is lacking. I check out girls with good bodies but I never approach them 'cause they mostly don't have a pretty face. Do you have a good body? Bum? Etc etc

    3) This is Britain, most people don't like interaction with strangers. So, if you want a guy go after him.

    4) If you were really pretty, I'm sorry to say this but you'd have been spoken too. I know Muslim girls who wear headscarf and traditional Islamic clothing (jilbab) yet still get approached because they're pretty. There are virtually no pretty-faced girls who don't get approached.
    1) It's not just my friends, it's people like my parent's friends, relatives, my Dr even said it one time
    2) If i was to be honest, i would say my face is better than my body

    4) Well maybe it's just me , i must give off an uninviting impression because i'm not an 'ugly' girl
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    1) It's not just my friends, it's people like my parent's friends, relatives, my Dr even said it one time
    2) If i was to be honest, i would say my face is better than my body

    4) Well maybe it's just me , i must give off an uninviting impression because i'm not an 'ugly' girl
    Damn I feel bad for doing this 'cause you seem to really believe what you're saying.

    1) Your parents friends are just being nice as is your doctor. Seriously, just think about the examples you've used. Do you think either of these two groups would ever criticize someone for their looks? Do you think even if you were really ugly, they'd tell you that?

    2) Got a picture of the celeb you think you look like (body wise)? Please try and be accurate as possible.

    3) Just because you're not pretty doesn't mean you're ugly. Look you're not Gucci/Louy V/[insert another brand luxury clothing], people won't come into the shop just because of you're prestige. This links into what I was saying earlier about Muslim girls. Despite people not having the money for luxury clothing they still enter the store, why? Because of that prestige. Same with the Muslim girl. They know she is wearing modest clothes and the chances of her going out with them is slim yet they still do it. However, this doesn't mean you're Oxfam. This doesn't mean people won't come to you unless they're really, really desperate. You're more like River Island/Top man or you could be at the lower end of the spectrum which is Primark. This means that people will approach you when they feel the need too. When someone is out and about they don't feel the need to approach someone unless they're very gorgeous and don't want to miss the opportunity. You can test out my theory by going to a club. In a club people are looking to find someone. If you get approached DON'T take this as to mean you're Louy V-rank, this at best will mean you're River Island- rank.

    I hope this analogy makes sense to you. I'm basically saying that you're probably average thus someone won't approach you unless they need to. When people are out and about they don't need to approach anyone unless the person is above-average. Anyway, got a face picture? If so, upload it and let others judge and receive an impartial opinion. Don't include your body though, remove all bias.
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    Oh ****, just realized you were at a club. ****! Lmfao. This might now mean you are at Oxfam-level. Lose weight/ gain weight. Get professional make-up advice. And you'll defo reach average-level. But, uploading a picture would be your best bet.
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    (Original post by Xenopain)
    Damn I feel bad for doing this 'cause you seem to really believe what you're saying.

    1) Your parents friends are just being nice as is your doctor. Seriously, just think about the examples you've used. Do you think either of these two groups would ever criticize someone for their looks? Do you think even if you were really ugly, they'd tell you that?

    2) Got a picture of the celeb you think you look like (body wise)? Please try and be accurate as possible.

    3) Just because you're not pretty doesn't mean you're ugly. Look you're not Gucci/Louy V/[insert another brand luxury clothing], people won't come into the shop just because of you're prestige. This links into what I was saying earlier about Muslim girls. Despite people not having the money for luxury clothing they still enter the store, why? Because of that prestige. Same with the Muslim girl. They know she is wearing modest clothes and the chances of her going out with them is slim yet they still do it. However, this doesn't mean you're Oxfam. This doesn't mean people won't come to you unless they're really, really desperate. You're more like River Island/Top man or you could be at the lower end of the spectrum which is Primark. This means that people will approach you when they feel the need too. When someone is out and about they don't feel the need to approach someone unless they're very gorgeous and don't want to miss the opportunity. You can test out my theory by going to a club. In a club people are looking to find someone. If you get approached DON'T take this as to mean you're Louy V-rank, this at best will mean you're River Island- rank.

    I hope this analogy makes sense to you. I'm basically saying that you're probably average thus someone won't approach you unless they need to. When people are out and about they don't need to approach anyone unless the person is above-average. Anyway, got a face picture? If so, upload it and let others judge and receive an impartial opinion. Don't include your body though, remove all bias.
    Listen, i came on TSR for a few opinions, not an essay from someone who is trying make others feel worthless so thanks for your comments but somehow, i don't think i'll take them on board. See ya.
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    (Original post by deltabomber)
    One word...smile
    Couldn't agree with this more. Just look at them and smile... ( if you're really shy to do anything else, then make sure you're making a lot of eye contact too and they're noticing you..you'll get the confident ones coming up to you)

    PM me if you want
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Listen, i came on TSR for a few opinions, not an essay from someone who is trying make others feel worthless so thanks for your comments but somehow, i don't think i'll take them on board. See ya.
    I am not trying to make you feel worthless. I'm trying to make you aware of reality. I feel sorry for you. There are two types of girls. There are those that when criticized take the comment on board and inquire about it. And then there are those that are so confident/egoistical that they won't take the comments on board. You're like a fat girl trying to convince herself she is a healthy weight. Good luck.

    Food for thought: most guys go to the club to pull, they don't care who they pull unless she's very very ugly e.g. a 2/3 or under and they're also drunk guys, so why aren't guys going up to you? Why hasn't anyone even given you the opportunity to suck their **** or have sex with them? I'm not saying you would suck their **** or have sex with them but WHY have they not given you this option? Just really think hard about this one. Why aren't the beer-goggles applying to you? Really think about this.
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    (Original post by Xenopain)
    I am not trying to make you feel worthless. I'm trying to make you aware of reality. I feel sorry for you. There are two types of girls. There are those that when criticized take the comment on board and inquire about it. And then there are those that are so confident/egoistical that they won't take the comments on board. You're like a fat girl trying to convince herself she is a healthy weight. Good luck.

    Food for thought: most guys go to the club to pull, they don't care who they pull unless she's very very ugly e.g. a 2/3 or under and they're also drunk guys, so why aren't guys going up to you? Why hasn't anyone even given you the opportunity to suck their **** or have sex with them? I'm not saying you would suck their **** or have sex with them but WHY have they not given you this option? Just really think hard about this one. Why aren't the beer-goggles applying to you? Really think about this.


    I'm sure OP is using the club situation as an example. It doesn't have to be in a club.

    OP my advice is to just smile at them if you see them looking at you because most likely they like you
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    Op, what does your makeup and clothes look like when you go out?

    Over do either of these and it can send the wrong signal out to guys...and you could always approach guys..
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    (Original post by sillysal)
    I'm sure OP is using the club situation as an example. It doesn't have to be in a club.
    "so anyway, i was in a club the other day and there was a good looking guy who just happened to come and sit in the spare seat next to me and some other girl on the sofa."

    How is she then using it as an example? She went to the club and wasn't approached. That's pretty much 99% evidence that she isn't as good looking as she thinks she is.
 
 
 
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