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Stuck in a Rut. watch

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    TSR, I have found myself in a situation. I need perspectives.

    I have recently started the 4th year of an undergraduate Master's degree in Computer Science (MEng). I do not want to be here. I got a weighted average of 72 in the BSc part, which means I can, if I choose, graduate with a first. I only decided last-minute (after I handed in my dissertation) to switch to the MEng programme because I had nothing else lined up.

    After summer I didn't want to come back. But I did it anyway because, again, I had nothing else lined up. I was offered a PGCE in Manchester but I didn't take it (after days on end of pacing back and forth) because I didn't have time to adjust to the idea (I only applied 4 days before the course started). I regret this decision. So now I'm here and it feels like a huge step backwards. I've gone from a pretty in-depth dissertation (which my supervisor tells me would make a good start to a PhD thesis) back to sitting in lectures about what feels like a broadening of the material from second year. Lectures are shared with MSc students who didn't do the BSc part, so they're largely playing catch up while I sit there sighing.

    My housemates (who were also my coursemates) are gone. I spent the last three years with those guys. All day in uni and all evening at home (mostly). They became pretty much a surrogate family. Now I'm pretty much on my own. Not fun. It feels like this year is going to tar my memories of uni. All the while, my friends at home are spending time together and I'm sitting here thinking about how much better it would be to be there. I have no real drive to try and make new friends over here because all I can think about is how much I want to leave and how I should be moving on.

    I have no money. My overdraft is empty and I can't afford food. I have a new car that - because of this course - I can't afford to run. I'm in a box room in an overpriced flat (£330/month exc. bills), with a 4-month rental commitment and more pressure to make further commitments to internet contracts etc. (currently running 3G off my phone). I don't want to register for uni to get my loan because I still don't want to commit to the fees. Even if I do get my loan, my overdraft will be empty again by Christmas (according to my rather optimistic budget). A bit of a shock after a comfy financial situation in a massive (and very cheap) room in a nice big, all-inclusive, newly refurbished house fully equipped with everything you could ever need.

    At home, my mum is very sick. My dad has stopped working to care for her and to look after my little sister. We don't know from one day to the next what's going to happen and it also means that my dad can't afford the burden of my problems on top of what he's dealing with, which makes me feel even more isolated.

    I have spent the last week sulking through my lectures and spending the rest of the day alone in a lab in uni trying to find jobs near home so I can cut my losses and run (I can't afford to pay for the flat without the FIFTH year of student loans that I'm about to incur, so currently I'm stuck here). I have an interview for a graduate job with an international corporation next week but even if I get it it means moving to London on my own, which, at the moment, is an absolutely terrifying prospect.

    Sorry for the novella.
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    if i understood properly then i would drop the course, take the first and run

    get a job - work, earn some money and come back for the masters when it makes financial sense, a masters is a luxury you just cannot afford currently. you never no, you might never want to return to education
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    I don't want to be here now, to be honest. Thing is, unless I register for uni and get my loan, I can't pay my rent. Can't afford to stay, can't afford to leave. Catch 22.

    And on top of it all, if I stick around and botch this year due to my complete lack of desire to continue, I will jeopardize my first.
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    (Original post by jermaindefoe)
    if i understood properly then i would drop the course, take the first and run

    get a job - work, earn some money and come back for the masters when it makes financial sense, a masters is a luxury you just cannot afford currently. you never no, you might never want to return to education
    sense- your sig makes none
 
 
 
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