Shyness...

basically i like this guy, have done for about 2 years. i've heard he's liked me a couple of times but don't know how true this is. the thing is, we are quite good friends but i always have to wait for him to start conversations, i'm one of the shyest ppl EVER. i have nothing to say to him at all :confused:

i've always been quiet and in my opinion boring... i can speak to him on the internet a bit more but even then the conversation dries up. i feel like i'm going to stay this way forever, letting other people make the conversation all the time. i know i will regret not having told him i liked him all this time, but i still keep so quiet. i have become more confident since i joined college, but worried i still won't open up at Uni. sometimes i just feel so lonely even tho i have a lot of friends... i just have nothing funny / interesting to say. :confused:

any ideas? i thought of joining a confidence course thingy, but even too shy for that :frown:

Reply 1

Nysh

1

Shyness can often be a burden, but you should do what you feel is right. I know I've complained a million times on this site, and the truth is, I am being an absolute hypocrite by saying this, but you know what is right, and you know what you must do. Don't be scared of yourself, and trust yourself in giving the right answers.

Basically what I'm trying to say is that, you like the guy, you know you do. You also know what you must do in order to "get" him. All anyone from the outside can say is, good luck, and that you can get what want.

So, Good Luck!

Reply 2

ElWilson

14

Well, you can note down the things you discuss on the internet, try hitting off a conversatioin that way. Also, if you are in the same school and do any of the same/similar subjects, you can complain about exams, revision, ask about subjects etc. If he plays sport, ask him so questions on those sports, guys love explaining, it makes us feel in command. You need to imagine to yourself that your in a relaxed enviorment and chill out. Conversation doesn't have to be a chore, it will become better as you get to know him more. Engaging in conversation over the internet it good, but put it into practice outside of it, otherwise he may get the impression your hiding behind your keyboard.

Hope this helps.

please rep me :frown:

Reply 3

princessa

1

i know exactly how you feel, some people think conversation comes naturally to everyone but it can be really hard. i used to find it really hard to strike up a conversation, and still do sometimes, but i have decided that whoever said confidence is largely about faking it is completely right. you just have to smile alot and look at who you are talking to. and as another poster said, ask questions, it makes you look really interested and it takes the pressure off you. one of my friends told me about an elastic band trick, and now i do it all the time. i get really nervous speaking to people and used to fiddle with my face or my hair, and when i realised i was doing it i would feel even more self concious, so now i always have a hairband around my wrist and if i find myself starting to fidget i start to play about with it with my fingers, it is less obvious to others and it helps me focus on "confidence".

about the guy you like, well either you can bite the bullet and tell him, or wait to see if he tells you. if you cant face it maybe write him an email saying "I really like you, if you like me to tell me if not can we just pretend this email didnt happen?". i would find this easier to handle than telliing someone straight i fancied them, i have no guts to do that. it sounds like you are good friends anyway so you have a good base. or maybe you can get another friend to find out in a subtle way if he is interested for sure, and then it might take away some of the fear of baring your soul?

and you probably will open up at uni. you are living with new people, seeing them every day and will probably just want to die at first but after a while you will get more comfortable with them, and afterwards you will feel more confident about meeting new people in general. you may well still be quite shy but you will have the confidence to talk to people and enjoy the company of new (and old) faces rather than fear them cause you have nothing to say. its hard but trust me! a confidence course might be good but if you dont think you could face it maybe buy a book? i started cutting out articles about confidence from magazines like cosmo and putting them in a folder (cause i am a geek), and they are a bit cheesy but sometimes have quite good tips.

Reply 4

THANK YOU so much!! :smile:

to all that have replied - you have made me realise i'm not alone, sometimes i feel like everyone else is so confident, knows exactly what to say, but the truth is they don't... i guess is comes with practice and new experiences. even if i don't get anywhere with this guy, having him as a friend is almost as great :smile:

Thank you thank you thank you :smile:

Reply 5

music<3

im in the same position as you, iv liked my best friend for around a yr now.. and hes so lovely but dont ever think id have a chance but am so glad hes a friend like u said...grr its frustrating though! xx

Shyness...

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