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Life, the universe and everything

Hey all. Sorry for the length of this and it's rambling-ness but I'm just feeling a bit meh-y. I'm 20 years old, in my final year at uni and life is generally going fine apart from relationships wise. Not the friends/family kind of relationships, but the boyfriend type. Basically I have never had a boyfriend. Ever. Fullstop, period. Even back when I was five, as far as I can remember anyway, I've never had one. Never kissed a guy, never been on a date, never even held hands! I feel like a bit of a freak to be honest.

I'm not a lesbian, I'm not attracted to girls. I am attracted to blokes - I have crushes on some guys, and fantasies and such. Sex-wise I just handle things myself, if you know what I mean. But I want to have sex with an actual male human being! Due to the distinct lack of male prostitutes, at least in my social circle, I just don't know what to do. Because otherwise I'm not bothered about the lack of boyfriend. I have friends of both sexes and I enjoy my own company. I'm not too keen on the idea of giving up my time and letting someone get close to me just for sex. Not that I've got much say in the matter really, and this is why one night stands aren't an option either - I'm not exactly stunning. I'm tall and definitely on the larger side of things, plus I have short hair and am not that feminine generally. People have stopped me in the street and asked if I'm a lesbian, which does wonders for your self confidence I can tell you.

I just don't know... I can see myself in the future being married with kids and everything, but I'm just so crap at the relationships thing. I'm not sure if I want a boyfriend or just sex or a long-term partner or anything. I don't really want to end up a lonely old cat woman. It's just depressing.

And reading that back I sound even crazier than I thought. Praise the anon button, praise it!

Reply 1

Elements

13

Aww, poor you! :hugs:

Just remember that you're not a freak. Everyone to theirown and that as well as individuality. I've heard stuff about ppl ending up lonely with lots of cats but you should rest in the fact that that's just a stereotype that you most probably wont end up as, hopefully. But what's wrong with cats?!? Meow! :p:

Sorry for that. :rolleyes:

Try to think positively and change your mantra, if you have one, so that it's more optimistic- it will work wonders. Have ou talked to your friends and family about this? You could try meditation- it's really relaxing and revitalising. It should leave you feeling really zen and happier. Just be yourself and someone somewhere will appreciate you for the person that you are. Hope that helps :smile:

, I'm not really good at this type of thing I think. :redface:

Reply 2

-TMG-

9

Be really forward and sexually predatory. It's what all the non-fit birds do. And it works.

Reply 3

Ferrus

19

-TMG-

Be really forward and sexually predatory. It's what all the non-fit birds do. And it works.

Hahahaha

Dear lord.

Reply 4

Kunster1337

1

Non-fit birds haha. Assumptions :redface:

Reply 5

hugatree

11

You sound exactly, and I say EXACTLY like my friend. :smile:

She's a really nice and funny girl but in the EXACT (it must be said, it's uncanny :p:

) situation.

And yeah I don't know what you can do. :smile:

Just wanted to tell you you're not the only one.

And good news: the non-model-like people are always the happily married ones. :wink:

You'll be fine.

--------------

Elements

Aww, poor you! :hugs:

Just remember that you're not a freak. Everyone to theirown and that as well as individuality. I've heard stuff about ppl ending up lonely with lots of cats but you should rest in the fact that that's just a stereotype that you most probably wont end up as, hopefully. But what's wrong with cats?!? Meow! :p:

Sorry for that. :rolleyes:

Try to think positively and change your mantra, if you have one, so that it's more optimistic- it will work wonders. Have ou talked to your friends and family about this? You could try meditation- it's really relaxing and revitalising. It should leave you feeling really zen and happier. Just be yourself and someone somewhere will appreciate you for the person that you are. Hope that helps :smile:

, I'm not really good at this type of thing I think. :redface:

Wauw. Mantra, meditation and zen in those few sentences. :p:

Impressive.

Reply 6

Thanks Elements and Hugatree! I'm not usually bothered about the whole situtation, I think it must be a hormonal time of the month. I'm fairly sure I don't know you Hugatree, so it's good to know that there are other people out there in the same boat. Sometimes it just seems like everyone else is out there either paired up in the process, and here I am not even in the race yet. I guess I'll just give it some more time and see if anything happens first, before I try and become a sexual predator or a cat lady!

Reply 7

hugatree

11

Anonymous

Thanks Elements and Hugatree! I'm not usually bothered about the whole situtation, I think it must be a hormonal time of the month. I'm fairly sure I don't know you Hugatree, so it's good to know that there are other people out there in the same boat. Sometimes it just seems like everyone else is out there either paired up in the process, and here I am not even in the race yet. I guess I'll just give it some more time and see if anything happens first, before I try and become a sexual predator or a cat lady!

LOL I'd be surprised if you were. :wink:

Yeah I know it takes you down doesn't it, especially around Valentines and stuff. :smile:

It'll get better though. Just be yourself (and if you're shy, have a drunk and be funny/talk about sexual stuff so guys are more interested).

Reply 8

Mata

16

I'm not saying that you should change yourself, but for the purpose of this exercise (that being, 'getting a boyfriend') then perhaps you should don more feminine clothes and wear a bit of make-up? It might not change your appearance dramatically but it sends out signals to men that you have thought about what people (implied: men) will see when they look at you, and that you might be interested in them persuing you.

You may not be 'stunning' but if we're honest, not many women are. A smile is a beautiful thing in itself and you can draw attention to your good points.

Reply 9

hugatree

11

Mata

I'm not saying that you should change yourself, but for the purpose of this exercise (that being, 'getting a boyfriend') then perhaps you should don more feminine clothes and wear a bit of make-up? It might not change your appearance dramatically but it sends out signals to men that you have thought about what people (implied: men) will see when they look at you, and that you might be interested in them persuing you.

You may not be 'stunning' but if we're honest, not many women are. A smile is a beautiful thing in itself and you can draw attention to your good points.

I agree and disagree. Don't wear make-up if you're not comfortable in it, but yeah smiling is very good. :smile:

People like happy people.

Reply 10

gas_panic!

12

Anonymous- please pm me, cause i would like to talk to you.

Reply 11

so_this_is_sam

3

lol some of these comments are too funny. everyone is admired by someone...you will not be alone forever. funnily enough i find myself agreeing with the crazy guy with all the warnings!! be confident and forward in the approach. about 3 years ago i was so shy...but hated it and from then i started to like myself which made my confidence grow loads. so much easier to get on with ppl if u like yourself :P

Reply 12

hugatree

11

so_this_is_sam

lol some of these comments are too funny. everyone is admired by someone...you will not be alone forever. funnily enough i find myself agreeing with the crazy guy with all the warnings!! be confident and forward in the approach. about 3 years ago i was so shy...but hated it and from then i started to like myself which made my confidence grow loads. so much easier to get on with ppl if u like yourself :P

TMG..

And :ditto:

to that last bit!

Reply 13

Elements

13

hugatree

--------------

Wauw. Mantra, meditation and zen in those few sentences. :p:

Impressive.

Thanks! That's me! :biggrin:

Reply 14

bobbob

11

Loads of people of both sexes are in the exact same situation as this - if you read a few pages back you will find endless amounts of threads dedicated to a similar topic... don't feel like a freak, 'cause you aren't. :smile:

Life, the universe and everything

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