The Student Room Group

Trouble....need advice!

this is very hard to put into words....but I'll try
Here goes.....

I'm in a relationship with a man who I do love and loves me (apparently) but everytime we argue...which is about the most pointless thing to argue about...if he doesn't win argument he hits me.
It's happened a few times now and each time it gettin worse...and harder!
I know whilst ur reading this you will be thinkin...stoopid cow get out whilst u can! But I can't.....gradually he has took over my life.....made me quit my job...asked me to leave college but I said no, so surprise surprise he hit me...I've now told him I have left but I have to sneak to college whilst he at work! He is controlling everything I do...money, sex, to simple things like when I can have a bath or brush my teeth..if I don't do as he says I get punished....he his e or throws me down the stairs...

What ccan I do...he controls every aspect of my life..so how can I possible break free?

Any advice offered could really save me...literally..I just need some light in my life because at the moment all I see is pitch black......

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Reply 1
999?
Reply 2
what do you think is the solution? Leave the bastard.
Reply 3
Do you still have your mum and dad local and on speaking terms?
They'd probably be the best bet..
Reply 4
I can't even begin to comprehend the situation you are in, but you need to understand, this bastard only controls your life if you let him control it. As soon as you get the chance to leave him, drop everything and run. Do you live with him right now? If you do then run away, leave everything behind and go to a friend's or your parents house. Remember everyone is on your side here, your college, your old employers, the authorities, they will do everything in their power to protect you, you are not alone. Get out whilst you still can.

If you don't feel there's anywhere you can go, maybe you could check out this website, like I say there are people out there who can help you: http://www.refuge.org.uk. Also I think it would help you to check out that website and have a read of it anyway.
Reply 5
sounds like ur his slave rather than girlfriend. I never imagine someone will treat her gf in this way. LEAVE
Reply 6
Oh god, he's a total freak :eek: :mad: , you have to leave him as soon as you can. You can't just let him control your life. Try to be more assertive to him, do what YOU want, not him. If he hits you again, just tell him how you feel, tell him how much you hate him doing that, just try and get through to him ; give him one last warning. If that doesn't work, just leave him, he doesn't love you if he's hurting you and not letting you go your own way. You don't deserve a person like him.

And if you do leave him, try and aviod him at all cost, it may really hurt you leaving him, but it'll heal over time and you would feel more free and more confident in yourself.

Hope that helped.
Reply 7
Parents ??
Reply 8
or alternatively, you hit him back if he doesn't wash the laundry for you, and punish me in a bad bad way
Reply 9
Deffo need to get away ASAP!!! What a prick!!! Tell the police as well, even if you dont press charges or anything, cause after you leave he may get another poor girl, or try to find you etc... You got any friends who can help you collect your stuff?
If you want out a male friend or relation or even your dad would be the person to get a hold of, as this guy is unlikely to start trouble if there is someone else male there. If he still does, then call the police.
Reply 11
Parents I think are the way out, if he's out at work in the day can you manage to get your stuff together and leave so you won't have to face him? Then you can think about calling the police and be secure in the protection of a family home. Or if not could you stay with a very trusted friend?
Reply 12
Anonymous
this is very hard to put into words....but I'll try
Here goes.....

I'm in a relationship with a man who I do love and loves me (apparently) but everytime we argue...which is about the most pointless thing to argue about...if he doesn't win argument he hits me.
It's happened a few times now and each time it gettin worse...and harder!
I know whilst ur reading this you will be thinkin...stoopid cow get out whilst u can! But I can't.....gradually he has took over my life.....made me quit my job...asked me to leave college but I said no, so surprise surprise he hit me...I've now told him I have left but I have to sneak to college whilst he at work! He is controlling everything I do...money, sex, to simple things like when I can have a bath or brush my teeth..if I don't do as he says I get punished....he his e or throws me down the stairs...

What ccan I do...he controls every aspect of my life..so how can I possible break free?

Any advice offered could really save me...literally..I just need some light in my life because at the moment all I see is pitch black......


You have to be strong and leave him. There's more to life than living under what appears to be a one-man dictatorship, and if he hits you over such trivial things as not brushing your teeth at the right time, well I think you know it's not good for you.... (understatement of the century!)

Please leave. If you can get away with slipping out to go to college in the daytime then you can get away with leaving. Just take the essentials and go. Block his number on your phone so he can't call you. Good luck, I hope you can get away.xx
if you have a friend or family you could stay with then i would just leave one night and leave a note (dont give him chance to hurt you)
i cant believe you can love someone who would do this to you, it terrible, tell someone who can help, dont suffer alone, it'll only get worse, its not something which will go away,

good luck sugar,
LexXx
Reply 14
leave. tomorrow.

dont go back

dont see him

dont let him know where you're staying
Reply 15
How can you possibly love him if he does that?
Fleece
How can you possibly love him if he does that?


It's a situation neither of us have been in. I don't know about you, but I've seen it happen all too often. Unfortunately, the women (and yes, men too) get controlled so much by their partner that it runs as far deep as their emotions. They can't help but love him (or her) still.
Reply 17
I know..I was thinking after i posted that you see/hear it happen all the time. I can't possibly begin to understand it though. :frown:
Reply 18
LEAVE RIGHT NOW! No man should ever hit a woman. Anyone who does that is a coward and is no man. He obviously doesn;t love you, otherwise he wouldn't hit you. Leave him and find a nice, decent caring bloke, there are plenty of them around, you just have to look in the right places! Anyway talk to someone close about this and definately leave him. He doesn't deserve you and you certainly are worth ten of the *******
This problem is all too common, i quote a poster i saw from problemwhat problem.com, 'Thank you for calling me a whore again darling.' These problems don't go away and some women are unable to get out, if you can take advantage of your position and leave him, he's not the kind of guy worth sticking around for.