not coping with death

One of my closest friends died in the summer....I'm finding this extremely hard to deal with. My college work is being affected hugely by this, however I do not want college knowing about my problems.
To make things worse is the way he died.....it was suicide. This makes it 100 times harder to deal with.

I just don't know where else to turn....anyone any ideas to help me?

Reply 1

pattirudi23

8

Anonymous

One of my closest friends died in the summer....I'm finding this extremely hard to deal with. My college work is being affected hugely by this, however I do not want college knowing about my problems.
To make things worse is the way he died.....it was suicide. This makes it 100 times harder to deal with.

I just don't know where else to turn....anyone any ideas to help me?

Hiya, I'm so sorry to hear about your friend and how you are feeling. I'm currently working as a support worker at an organisation called Cruse bereavement care, there is a helpline you can call to talk to someone 0870 167 1677, but unfortunatley it is closed right now as it is only open on the weekend between 3pm and 5pm. During the week you can call between 9.300am and 9pm. If you're feeling really crappy in the meantime, you could call the samaritans, they can be a good listening ear sometimes 08457 909090. Cruse have a website too, which you might find helpful www.crusebereavementcare.org.uk - I don't know how old you are, but there is a young persons website too www.rd4u.org.uk

Is there a particular reason why you don't want college to know? They may be very supportive and give you some leaway when you need it.

Try and take each day at a time and try tobe good to yourself when you can.

Take care & pm me if you want to :smile:

Reply 2

Lawan

5

Awww

poor you. Sorry to hear about your friend.

I went through a similar situation over a year ago and didn't want to let my school know about my problems either. So I never said anything about it to anyone apart from my best friend and then a lot later on to another close friend. However this year due to a combination of things a teacher found out and it didn't feel so bad telling them, but they also didn't make to much of a fuss over it, which is what I really wanted to avoid. I would advise you to talk to someone you are close to about it or anyone else you would feel comfortable talking to.

Hope things work out for you on the college front. Other than that just take the time to grieve properly, but also try to look forward taking each day as it comes.

Reply 3

Zymoen

You're finding this difficult because you probably need to talk it out.

Try this.
Each day write a letter to your friend, tell her how you feel and the effect she's hand on you by what she's done.

Then burn it and see the smoke as the negative feelings leaving you.

You'll be ok. :hugs:

Reply 4

Juno

20

There's no set way to deal with things, so don't feel bad because you're "not coping". You will find it helpful to talk to someone. If you don't want to go to a counsellor then just talking to friends who also knew them will help. But don't feel you have to act in a certain way or must get over it in a set time.

Reply 5

username30638

13

Anonymous

One of my closest friends died in the summer....I'm finding this extremely hard to deal with. My college work is being affected hugely by this, however I do not want college knowing about my problems.
To make things worse is the way he died.....it was suicide. This makes it 100 times harder to deal with.

I just don't know where else to turn....anyone any ideas to help me?

I'm so sorry to hear about your friend :frown:

A very close family member commited suicide in the final year of my A-levels. I lost all motivation for studying and at one point felt so listless that I contemplated dropping out of 6th form altogether.

I was reluctant to tell my tutors about it, but my parents persuaded me to. Firstly I spoke to the head of 6th form, who was extremely understanding, and agreed to explain to my subject-teachers that I had a bereavement (without giving them full details). Eventually I explained the full situation to my teachers, and suprisingly they had already sensed that something was wrong, they noticed I wasn't putting as much effort into my work & my marks weren't up to usual standard. Without exception, they were extremely supportive and were particularly understanding when it came to coursework deadlines and other work (gave me extra time etc). Admittedly my grades did suffer as a result, but I'm sure they would have been a million times worse if I had not spoken to people about it.

So I would urge you to speak to your teachers at college about your situation, I'm sure you will be suprised how understanding they are. Suicide is a terrible thing to have to deal with, especially being so young & with the stress you're already under with exams. If you need any advice, feel free to PM me because I know how difficult it is :smile:

All the best.

not coping with death

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