The Student Room Group

broken up

i split with my boyfriend of 2 years on thursday and im feeling pretty gutted. He was at uni whilst i stayed at school to finish my A Levels and i really hoped that it was going to work, but he became so wrapped up in his new life that he basically forgot about me. Im just finding it really hard to accept that i wont ever go out with him again and i dont know wat to do really cos my social life really revolved around him. I cant bear the thought of going out and all i want to do is curl up and cry. Has anyone else been in the same situation and how did you get through it? cheers xxx
Reply 1
i'm sorry but i've never been in this situation.

however....:hugs:
Me and my bf split up about a month ago and I'm still finding it really hard to cope. I'm at uni and he works full time, he didn'y really have the time and felt too pressured. Hard when little things remind you of him etc. I would say keep occupied and maybe learn a new hobby or something, I still have really bad days where I stay in bed and cry but it will getbetter, that what I tell myself :frown:
Hugs xxx
Reply 3
I split with my boyfriend if nearly 3 years at the end of December, so I totally understand how you're feeling. I've found the best way to deal with it is to keep as busy as possible. Is he at uni near you? Also if you think you're going to text him it's probably best to delete his number from your phone so you can't contact him. The quicker you stop contact the easier it'll be. My ex keeps calling me at 1am trying to get me to talk to him which isn't helping either of us.

Also get together with some friends at college and arrange to go out for the night to remind yourself that you're still great and you can have a good time without your ex. My social life revolved around my ex's friends, but now obviously I can't go out with them (not that I'd want to!) and my bar job means that I can't go out on Friday and Saturday nights anyway.
I broke up with my boyfriend of nearly a year a few months ago, and my advice would be simple: dive into as many different things as possible to occupy yourself. Create a new life and don't mope about it. You broke up with him for a reason, you'd be foolish to live to regret that decision if you didn't get on with living your decision now.
Reply 5
twiga
I split with my boyfriend if nearly 3 years at the end of December, so I totally understand how you're feeling. I've found the best way to deal with it is to keep as busy as possible. Is he at uni near you? Also if you think you're going to text him it's probably best to delete his number from your phone so you can't contact him. The quicker you stop contact the easier it'll be. My ex keeps calling me at 1am trying to get me to talk to him which isn't helping either of us.

Also get together with some friends at college and arrange to go out for the night to remind yourself that you're still great and you can have a good time without your ex. My social life revolved around my ex's friends, but now obviously I can't go out with them (not that I'd want to!) and my bar job means that I can't go out on Friday and Saturday nights anyway.


yeh i was gona get some bar work to take up my time. i just miss him so much and i cant believe its over. I used to be the most important thing in his life and now im not anything to him. It the most horrible feeling. :frown:
Reply 6
Anonymous
i split with my boyfriend of 2 years on thursday and im feeling pretty gutted. He was at uni whilst i stayed at school to finish my A Levels and i really hoped that it was going to work, but he became so wrapped up in his new life that he basically forgot about me. Im just finding it really hard to accept that i wont ever go out with him again and i dont know wat to do really cos my social life really revolved around him. I cant bear the thought of going out and all i want to do is curl up and cry. Has anyone else been in the same situation and how did you get through it? cheers xxx


Yep, pretty much exatly the same thing happened to me, except he split up with me. (there were other factors too, but they all revolved around us not having enough time together cause he was too busy with uni)

I had a lot of trouble accepting that it was over, and I know it doesn't feel nice at the moment, but it will get better.

The only way I got through it was by throwing myself into my college work and getting more involved with my college mates. Since I've been at uni myself I understand it more (he's at hte same uni as me and we've only seen each other three times since september... we just don't have the time).

See it as a life experience - if he'd never broken my heart I wouldn't be as strong as I am now. It made me take stock of my life and realise what I wanted to change. I'm glad it happened now, and while it's taken me 11 months (first proper relationship, so it sucked) I'm free now to be myself, and I've turned my entire life around.

You just have to remember that there is a reason you've split up, and frankly if he forgot about you cause of new friends then you're better off without - believe me, I know!

PM me if you ever want to chat :smile:

(hugs) it will get better. It's a cliche but time does heal.
Reply 7
I split up with my boyfriend of two and half years in november. It's really really hard. All I can do is echo what other people have said - throw yourself into a new life. Go to the gym, join a new club, get a job, work hard and make lots of time for your friends. It takes a while but it will get easier. However i warn you now it does come in waves - now i generally feel fine but then just sometimes i suddenly miss him - something reminds me of him usually - and it makes me so sad. We had to completely cut contact to get over each other and i hate not knowing what he's doing, if he's ok, what he's up to.

Like you say, the thought that after all that time being the most important people to each other you're trying to forget each other really hurts. But eventually it will get easier, and you will be able to remember each other fondly, all the good times you had. I'm hoping with a bit of space and a lot of time we will one day be able to be friends again.

Keep busy to break out of habits you had. It's the only way. And i promise one day you will feel better, even though that sounds impossible now.
Reply 8
Anonymous
i split with my boyfriend of 2 years on thursday and im feeling pretty gutted. He was at uni whilst i stayed at school to finish my A Levels and i really hoped that it was going to work, but he became so wrapped up in his new life that he basically forgot about me. Im just finding it really hard to accept that i wont ever go out with him again and i dont know wat to do really cos my social life really revolved around him. I cant bear the thought of going out and all i want to do is curl up and cry. Has anyone else been in the same situation and how did you get through it? cheers xxx


the exact situation i am dreading when my bf goes to uni. i was hoping to have a job and a house by then so he could move in with me, but he is too wrapped up with his best friend so.. oh well.


obviously he wasn't the right one for you, and you should go out and find someone a thousand times better! hehe - and then let him know what a wonderful time you are having without him, and then maybe he will feel bad and start begging for you back.. you can then tell him to shove off because you are happy, and then he will be the sad one.. HAHAHAHAAA!!

also, when my bf goes to uni, it will be 2 years when we have been together.. not being mean, but i really hope that we aren't you.. just a year later....
Reply 9
i just broke up after one and a half years on and off. we kept breaking up and getting back together again. eventually it got to the stage where i woz constantly worrying about whether we were going to stay together or not. we couldnt break up but carry on being friends because we started all over again. in the end i told him that we would stop seeing and talking to each other as i was so fed up of being messed around. i feel so much better for it :smile:
Reply 10
he was the one who split with me
wat happened was: this weekend gone i was going to stay with him at uni, but on the thursday night he was acting odd and i got fed up and asked whether he still wanted us to go out anymore and he said no. At the time i just said thanks for being such a nice boyf etc. and said goodbye.
Over saturday and sunday i began to realise that if i had not said anything, he would have let me pay £50 in train fairs to go and see him when he didnt wana be with me. So i phoned him yesterday evening and asked him if that was true and he said "yes probably, but there was never a good time to tell you." So i went calmly mental - told him that he was cruel, how hurt i was and i was disappointed in him and that it was his fault that he missed me! :biggrin: When i put the phone down i felt so relieved cos he finally knew how i felt. - feeling much better now. If he asked me back i would say stuff you! :biggrin: Girls - we dont need boys!!!
Reply 11
I'm glad you seem to be feeling better.
I can only echo what others have said - it will be difficult but you need to find things to occupy your time, otherwise you will just sit around by yourself all the time thinking about him.
It concerns me slightly that your entire social life revolved around him. Not to sound harsh, but I think you need to make sure that doesn't happen again, otherwise if your next relationship ends you will just feel even more at a loss than you do right now. I have to say that one of the perks of my long-distance relationship is that my boyfriend isn't here all the time - not because I don't love him (far from it!) but because I know that if he was here all the time, I wouldn't spend time with anyone else because I'd just want to spend all my time with him. There's something to be learned from every experience and I hope you take away something good from this. :hugs:
A similar thing happened to me before my ex went uni. I said we might not work, he thought we wouldn't and dumped me. It seems like a quick decision, but then he ended up askin me back and i said no! Took me a while to get used to being without him. I just texted him once to say thanks for everything and never spoke to him till he rung me 3 months later. It was ok cause i was away from him. I just went out with friends and found things to keep me busy. I cried when i needed to. But after a couple of months i was ok. Then i saw him, 6months later and had realised i'd moved on 100%. Now, i've got another boyfriend who is utterly perfect. When you break up with someone and have time to think about things, you realise what was wrong with the relationship but you didn't wanna admit to yourself cause you were dependant on that person. At the time, i thought i was so in love, but looking back, it wasn't that great and i was never really that happy, but i was scared of losing him. I'm a much stronger person because of it. Just hang in there, everything will be ok.

xxx