The Student Room Group

How long does it take you to ...

Ok.... Here goes.
Im feeling a little down because my bf takes so long to cum, should i be offended? :frown:
He gets a hard on but just takes really long to cum but at least he does eventually.
Its not just sex its foreplay too although sometimes he can cum quicker!!
ive asked him am i not good etc but he said everythings fine!??
Is this a bad thing and is it my fault, Am i not good enough or something?
If someone could help me or if other people are having similar dilemas feel free to tell me!
All advice appreciated!!
xx
Reply 1
Maybe he just used to err exercise his right hand way too often before he met you, and its reduced his sensitivity and hence it takes him a long time..
i thought most girls liked guys to last long? :confused:
Reply 2
Well there is alot of pressure on men to last for ages, he mite be holding it for that reason or because he wants to be pleasured for longer, when its out its out.
Unfortunately I can't give a guy's perspective on it, but what I do know, is that when it's a case of wanting a partner to come, it's often a very different perspective from male to female. From what I can deduce, guys expect to have to take time to make a girl come, whereas we girls tend to see making a guy come as a fast 30 second flick of the wrist affair.

But, you have to remember that firstly, everyone is different. One of my previous boyfriends enjoyed the feeling of receiving head much more than having sex, though found it much much harder to come if getting head. Most guys will see it as a negative thing to come fast, and would want to try and hold off to prolong the feeling of being so turned on. So don't berate yourself if he's taking his time. However, I do relate, as there's always a feeling of pride and accomplishment if you are able to make your man come in 20 seconds. So what I'd suggest is to play games, such that, he has to tell you exactly what to do: as if you were a robot, to maximise his pleasure. As if he doesn't make it happen, he doesn't get to come. Once you've ascertained what it is that 'does it' for him at different stages of him being turned on, you'll be able to vary your routine a bit.

We all have our buttons, you just need to play around to find them
Scarlett_Jewel
Unfortunately I can't give a guy's perspective on it, but what I do know, is that when it's a case of wanting a partner to come, it's often a very different perspective from male to female. From what I can deduce, guys expect to have to take time to make a girl come, whereas we girls tend to see making a guy come as a fast 30 second flick of the wrist affair.

But, you have to remember that firstly, everyone is different. One of my previous boyfriends enjoyed the feeling of receiving head much more than having sex, though found it much much harder to come if getting head. Most guys will see it as a negative thing to come fast, and would want to try and hold off to prolong the feeling of being so turned on. So don't berate yourself if he's taking his time. However, I do relate, as there's always a feeling of pride and accomplishment if you are able to make your man come in 20 seconds. So what I'd suggest is to play games, such that, he has to tell you exactly what to do: as if you were a robot, to maximise his pleasure. As if he doesn't make it happen, he doesn't get to come. Once you've ascertained what it is that 'does it' for him at different stages of him being turned on, you'll be able to vary your routine a bit.

We all have our buttons, you just need to play around to find them
Good post.
Reply 5
Anonymous
Ok.... Here goes.
Im feeling a little down because my bf takes so long to cum, should i be offended? :frown:
He gets a hard on but just takes really long to cum but at least he does eventually.
Its not just sex its foreplay too although sometimes he can cum quicker!!
ive asked him am i not good etc but he said everythings fine!??
Is this a bad thing and is it my fault, Am i not good enough or something?
If someone could help me or if other people are having similar dilemas feel free to tell me!
All advice appreciated!!
xx


maybe he likes the actual sex part, rather than the 'cumming' part.. i would feel honoured.

plus i feel kinda sorry for lads.. i mean, there are half the girls who complain he cums too soon, and half who complain he doesn't cum quick enough.. whats the happy medium?
my bf has yet to cum with me, and its nerves with him, he's really self conscious and he think what he's doing isnt good enough etc etc. he's gettin hard is the main point, and he obviously isnt going soft quickly so dont worry, im sure its all fine
Reply 7
This might seem a bit nosy but what about your orgasm? Do you come before your boyfriend or not at all? All too often girls are too busy thinking about when the guy is going to come and whether he's enjoying it than their own experience. Use your man's ability to go that extra bit longer and go for gold.. try and find that elusive multiple orgasm....think of him as your very own duracell bunny! :p: :p:
Reply 8
as if you were a robot,[QUOTE]

Ha ha ha!!!
To the OP - how long are we talking here? How long is too long lol!
Reply 10
I think if it takes too long it might start to hurt anyway, no? Like, friction burns?
Reply 11
Anonymous
Ok.... Here goes.
Im feeling a little down because my bf takes so long to cum, should i be offended? :frown:

Dump him.

He has a low sexual drive.
Reply 12
Why would he have a low sex drive? I have a high sex drive and find it hard to cum with my gf.

Anyways, it most likely stems from him taking his time when masturbating, or him worrying so much about lasting long enough that he actually lasts too long.

What I do is show my gf what to do, talk to her. Ram her head up and down on my penis lol (not really :biggrin:)

But yeah, ask your bf what he likes. An easy way is for me to masturbate myself til I'm about to cum then have my gf finish off, and decorate the room with my own personal 'touch' lol.

My gf said she won't let me decorate her room though :frown:
Reply 13
Apparently the average times are 4 minutes and 20 minutes for men and women respectively...although I don't have any real life evidence... However, it can depend on his sexual mood, sometimes I can cum in as short as 4 seconds or extend it to half an hour - if you can stimulate him to the point that he starts cumming without penile stimulation, (I can do this myself :biggrin:) then you won't be hanging around long....