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God.. lads...confused....

Right, well where do i start.
They'res this lad who is in my group of friends. Anyhow over the summer he and this other girl in my friendship group had a thing- but they never actually did anything about it, she decided she didnt like him so he had to get over her.
Anyhow, weve been getting closer over the past couple of months, and its kinda been like- does he like me etc.. that sort of thing.
Anyhow, last night at a party, the original girl and him started flirting, n he then spends the rest of the nyt depressed.
Well i sorta kinda knew y he was confused, but i thort im sick of all the not knowing so i decided to ask him about it. Basically he said, after some coaxing, cs he really doesnt like talking about his feelings. Anyways i think that may have annoyed him but i had to know, basically he said he was confused between me and this other girl. But im all confused now becasue i dont know if i like him or not- i have phases.
So anyone got any general comments or advice or what do i do??? Im just a bit stressed about this and i needed to write it down.

Reply 1

sr4470

15

Sit down and have a proper talk with him.

Bloody lads, hey?

boys are the most confusing things on this earth
seriously
some of them are just such women!

Reply 4

sr4470

15

lazza

boys are the most confusing things on this earth

Can we not make unhelpful generalisations?

Reply 5

lazza

15

it's a general comment isn't it?
and i say "boys" in the sense of the ones who need to grow up
i've been in similar situations. it's not nice
question is, can you be bothered waiting around for him to make up his mind, or you could move on and find someone else

Reply 6

username30638

13

sr4470

Can we not make unhelpful generalisations?

I agree.

Not really sure what to suggest to the OP other than talk to the guy... none of us know him.

If you don't like unrelated questions, please look away now.

imasillynarb - what is a narb? These are the only definitions I can find:
National Advertising Review Board
No Apparent Reason Boner
Nagasi Agrarian Reform Beneficiaries
NIMA Acquisition Review Board
Navy Acquisition Review Board

Are any of these remotely close? :confused:

Reply 7

lazza

15

oh and also. it was also in relation to the title of this thread. just backing up that yes they are confusing

Reply 8

Archkinkist

Hiya

You said he said how he felt; what was it he said? I think that if you're confused about your feelings for him, (which in a friendship situation, I imagine is very complicated), then you should talk to him. Don't worry about having maybe annoyed him or not; remember he's your friend first and I'm sure he won't be too bothered about it, plus you said he was depressed that night because of flirting with her again-he may not be over her, and if he has feelings for you beyond friends then that's gonna make it more difficult. Tell him how you felt last night; try and talk through his feelings for you and the other girl. Since you're in a group it might be difficult because feelings will be layered I guess, but don't worry. Hope it works out :smile:

Reply 9

Barny

17

jeff2233

I agree.

Not really sure what to suggest to the OP other than talk to the guy... none of us know him.

If you don't like unrelated questions, please look away now.

imasillynarb - what is a narb? These are the only definitions I can find:
National Advertising Review Board
No Apparent Reason Boner
Nagasi Agrarian Reform Beneficiaries
NIMA Acquisition Review Board
Navy Acquisition Review Board

Are any of these remotely close? :confused:

Yeh, its the last one.

Reply 10

rachelrainbow32

OP

2

Thanks for your help. Yes how confusing is it, i think it would be better if i just knew what i feel but i dont. so its kinda my fault, in that respect, but he is being a confused bum, i know cos mr life n soul of the party spent the whole nyt lukin sad on the stairs.
Well thanks to listening to my stress.

Reply 11

Archkinkist

rachelrainbow32

Thanks for your help. Yes how confusing is it, i think it would be better if i just knew what i feel but i dont. so its kinda my fault, in that respect, but he is being a confused bum, i know cos mr life n soul of the party spent the whole nyt lukin sad on the stairs.
Well thanks to listening to my stress.

No problem :smile:

If you ever want to chat about anything, feel free to PM me. It's not anyone's fault that the situation has arisen; but it'll sort itself out. My guess (though not knowing you or him I can't be certain), as I think I've already said :smile:

, is that your friend may be a little confused with getting over/having feelings for your other friend and you, and when he figures that out maybe he will make it clear. Hope it works out for you :hugs:

Reply 12

Calvin

14

God no, don't talk to him about it. If you're confused about something you need to sort it out for yourself. You don't need somebody sitting you down and pressing you to make up your mind right then, or even to some kind of timetable. He needs to work things out , and by the sound of it, you do too. So think, don't force him into a decision which may be the wrong one.

Reply 13

DontBuyTheSun

12

To be honest, you did the right thing by confronting him but you woman are just as bad. How can you go on and off with liking a lad? it is meant to be a permenent thing. And all this to eager.. play them mean stuff is consfusing to. when shud the lad play hard to get and whne she he be dead nice

Reply 14

lazza

15

guys play games just as much
and also at the age of 16 i doubt you're going out with women, more like girls
so yes they will play games

Reply 15

Calvin

14

And then we all grow up and become mature and utterly transparent? :rolleyes:

Reply 16

lazza

15

i'm a lot better than i was at 16 i can tell you. and what that was over 2 years ago. massive difference (i go to an all girls school. trust me).

Reply 17

Calvin

14

And people do improve, but over an issue as complex and often emotional as relationships what somebody says they want from a relationship and what they actually want are often very different things.

Reply 18

lazza

15

ok now im confused
all i was saying is that 16 year old girls play ALOT of games
and there's so much backstabbing at bitchyness... which still exists at later ages... but for some reason at 16 is like RAWR
what has that got to do with the complexity of relationships...?

Reply 19

MNBStyle

9

lazza

it's a general comment isn't it?
and i say "boys" in the sense of the ones who need to grow up
i've been in similar situations. it's not nice
question is, can you be bothered waiting around for him to make up his mind, or you could move on and find someone else

Your contradicting yourself abit there.
You say this guy needs to grow up because hes taking ages to decide between 2 girls, yet you dont think the OP needs to grow up even thoe shes not sure if she even likes this guy.

P.S i presume the comment was partially aimed about the guy mentioned in the thread, if you wasn't thoe then im sorry in advance :redface:

And im not suggesting anyone needs to grow up either.

God.. lads...confused....

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