What Do You Think About This One?...

Ok, got a situation.

Recently started seeing an 'ex again, although we aren't an 'item'. Met a year ago next week, and have been on-off seeing each other since. Basically, I'd like you to interpret his actions and perhaps feelings, if you'd be so kind.

Saw him briefly on the train on Thursday after he'd finished work. He asked what I was doing the next night. I said that I hadn't any plans so we arranged to meet up the following night. I went round his and stayed over. He was completely quiet all evening and didnt seem to appreciate being interrupted by myself talking while he watched T.V! The following morning he was irritable and quite rude, saying that he 'needed space and time to himself' after spending the night with me! We aren't 'together'. I wanted to test the water a little by engaging in a little ''fake phonecall''. I pretended I'd had a cal from a guy while he wasgetting ready in another room. Childish and nasty, I know, but I wanted to test his reaction. He didnt mention it but suddenly his mood changed a little. We went briefly into town that morning for an hour, and suddenly he was all chatty and pleasant. He walked me to the station and kissed me and gave me a cuddle.

We split up on my terms because of his moodiness and because the irregularity of his personality irritates me. You see, I can never be sure as to how he'll be with me. Don't get me wrong, he's not aggressive, just a little moody and unresponsive.

He's not the most loving of people. This I put down to his upbringing. he's often referred to relationsips as something negative and often makes comments like ''I'll probably never get married'' etc, in so many words. He kind of likes to come across as a player, although he isn't. His parents divorced when he was one, his fathers a bit of a so-called 'player'- you know the type- a 60 year old prat that still thinks he can pick up the younger ladies and drive an Aston Martin without looking lie a plonker.

I'm not making excuses, it's just htat his behaviour would indicate this. he's always the one to resume contact after we've split by sending a text. I completely adore him, and can't help it. he's ofetn said in texts- never to my face- that he ''thinks the world of me'' yet his behaviour suggests otherwise.
he's generally quite an incontent person. (He's 26, i'm 18 and at Uni, only live an hours train journey during term time, but live in the same city back home, where i often visit at weekends). he's an Oxford graduate, gets fantasic jobs which he's never happy with so is constantly changing, hates where he lives, blah blah blah, the list is endless. Also, his mother isnt too well with cancer. She's extremely impotant to him and i know how this affects him. I'm able to help him due to losing my own mother a few years ago. he often says how i'm the only person sensitive to this.

There are so many examples that I could list to explain my frustration, but it's a little boring for you readers! Basically, I'd just like some advice as to a plan of action that I should embark upon or if anyone else has been iin a similar situation. Really, any interpretations on this kind of behaviou would be great as i kind of get the feeling that I'll stil be in this position with him in 20 years time- what with the breaking up and regaining contact again malarkee!

Thanks in advance for any replies.

Gosh this is a long one- please accept my apologies!

Reply 1

Sydney

1

Wow - this sounds very complicated so I think you'll have to evaluate whether he's worth your stress. The fact you need to test his reactions shows you're unsure about him, and in itself is not a good sign. You have a bond in that you have lost your mother and his is ill but you need to decide whether you're feeling extreme sympathy and compassion for him or whether it's something more than that. Put yourself first, if he won't make you happy it's best to find someone who will. :redface:

Reply 2

Sydney

Wow - this sounds very complicated so I think you'll have to evaluate whether he's worth your stress. The fact you need to test his reactions shows you're unsure about him, and in itself is not a good sign. You have a bond in that you have lost your mother and his is ill but you need to decide whether you're feeling extreme sympathy and compassion for him or whether it's something more than that. Put yourself first, if he won't make you happy it's best to find someone who will. :redface:

Yeah, you're completely right. But it's not through sympathy, I really love being with him and the 'mother' issue doesn't really dominate our relationship at all, if you get what I mean!
It's just that I wonder as to his behaviour, it seems strange. I wouldnt bother if it werent for the fact that its always him that makes the first move in terms of texting me after we've not been speaking for a while- only to be somewhat 'offish' once the contact has been resumed!

Reply 3

Sydney

1

That must be incredibly frustrating to have your hopes raised and shattered like that repeatedly. Maybe explain how you feel he treats you, give him the ultimatum, change or risk losing you forever, give it one last shot and if he doesn't change his behaviour you'll have to follow through and sever all ties - if only for your own sanity! Good Luck :smile:

What Do You Think About This One?...

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