Ex bf and his new "friend"

Thought I'd have a bit of a whinge (hope you don't mind!)

My ex is in the army and we started ging out just before he got posted to Iraq for a year. After about 10 months of the year things started to sour a bit between us, particularly after he got 2 weeks hols to go home and didn't mention it to me til right before so I couldn't get a flight out to see him. Anyhow I started to notice he wasn't really listening to things I said etc. and eventually I really felt he was more taken with the idea of having a girl waiting back home for him rather than that girl being me (i.e. it could have been anyone I just happened to be handy). I was going through a rough time at uni and the stress was adding to it so I broke up with him over the phone (it's not like I could pop round to Baghdad is it!). He was cut up, kept saying I am so special bla bla and how he would never meet anyone like me (I wished it was true but still think it was more about him wanting anyone rather than me specifically). He said he wanted to stay friends, I said sure and then he dropped off the face of the earth. I was worried thinking he'd been hurt or something then over Christmas (about a month after we had broken up) he rang me. I was really surprised and he started saying what a "job" I'd done on him getting him to feel things for me when I never felt anything for him (so not true) and I was half asleep so I was all "whatever". Then he mentioned he had a new "friend" who was apparently a female soldier with his unit and they'd become close, she was fab etc. I wasn't too bothered at the time so just said "good for you" and we ended the conversation.

Now he's home from Iraq and he IMed me on yahoo to let me know he'd gotten home ok. We chit chatted and he seemed really down, like seriously down so I called him. He was so despressed, saying he wanted to go back to Iraq because home wasn't home anymore and how he felt he had more to take him back there than keep him here. I tried to reassure him and made sure one of his workmates came over to stay with him and said I'd call back the next day. So I called yesterday, after not sleeping a wink because I was worried he'd do something stupid and he sounded much better (thankfully!). I asked what was getting him down...expecting some confession about nightmares, post traumatic stress disorder etc and he tells me....this other girl. Apparently she is an interpreter back in iraq (not a soldier as he'd told me) and he hasn't heard from her for a few days. Then he launched into how his family love her (his dad never liked me because I have a tongue piercing of all things lol), she's everything he's ever wanted, bla bla bla.

I want to scratch his eyes out. :cool:

I admit it, I'm jealous. In the couple of months we weren't talking I'd missed him like crazy and when he didn't answer the couple of emails I sent I'd worried he'd been blown to bits, when in reality he was cosying up to this interpreter.

Anyway, should I say anything or just stay away from him? I haven't called him since and don't plan to, but I do still miss him. For someone who was supposedly sooo crazy about me he moved on pretty quick don't you think?

TnV

Reply 1

-TMG-

9

Get over it. You are not with him anymore and he has a new girl. He moved on - why can't you?

Reply 2

bullyfish

12

Get over it. You are not with him anymore and he has a new girl. He moved on - why can't you?

You know, stuff is a little bit more complicated than that, you cant just get over someone like that!

Reply 3

Tarts_n_Vicars

OP

13

lol short and sweet - I like it.

But it's not always easy to move on you know.

Reply 4

Little Girl Red

1

Aww, you show that you're a nice girl by worrying about him and looking after him even though he'd been such an arse. He sounds insensitive and you're much better off without him. You will stop missing him with time, get out and do some new things, spend some time with your friends and celebrate not having to worry about somebody in a war-torn country!
Try to let go and wish him well with his new girl.

Reply 5

icedsilhouette

I think you should try and stay away... It seems he has no respect for your feelings right now, or maybe he's misinterpreted you being worried about him as worried about him as a friend and so thinks he can talk to you just was a friend. Either way, it seems as though talking to him isn't going to do you much good!

Reply 6

Love_Hearts

9

he probably doesnt realise how upset you are, and as you were the one to break it of with him he thinks your over him and are JUST friends. he might be making it all up to test the waters - see your reaction.
prehaps talk to him and let him know how u feel, and reasure him your not just sayin it now that he has found another girl

Reply 7

-TMG-

9

Little Girl Red

Aww, you show that you're a nice girl by worrying about him and looking after him even though he'd been such an arse. He sounds insensitive and you're much better off without him. You will stop missing him with time, get out and do some new things, spend some time with your friends and celebrate not having to worry about somebody in a war-torn country!
Try to let go and wish him well with his new girl.

This is what I was saying - he's not worth it so why waste tears and time on him? Buy a vibrator and you don't even need a man! They ARE all dogs after all right :wink:

Reply 8

Tarts_n_Vicars

OP

13

lol I already have one but it's no replacement for the real thing...

Reply 9

digitalparadox

1

The Green Eyed monster never goes away....Just keep away from him and try get over it. Nothing else we can really say apart from sympathise....

Reply 10

pumpkin7

13

he is an ex. get over it and find someone better who is closer to home.

Reply 11

bone-machine

9

they have shared a hell of a lot over in iraq...so its not suprising they got close...and you say you only started going out properly a little while before he was posted?...so does that mean they have had more time 'together' then you??..if so this might be the reason he feels like this..also ...he could eb trying to make you jealous..but like everyone is saying .it doesnt seem like its going to work..find a man closer to home who will treat you how you deserve to be treated.
xxx

Reply 12

always + forever

1

do you not think you're just missing him more now that he's not still cut up over you? (I'm sorry if that sounds harsh, it's not meant to be a criticism) You will move on, as I think you realise. You just have to realise that you're not upset that you broke up, but that he's got someone else. and that's not really anything that you can do much about. I wouldn't talk to him and say that you're upset about this interpreter girl, as that's going to look needy. Keep a front, and act okay with him about it, and start improving your situation seeing you and him as 'finished'. Then move on to other guys!

Ex bf and his new "friend"

Related discussions

Articles for you