What will you be doing over the Easter break? >>

Where to live next year?

[Apologies in advance for the length of this post, but I'll try to keep it to the minimum.]

I live in a flat with nine other people and I'm worrying about where and with whom I'm going to live next year. Although in the first semester about five of us used to be very close, the boys have kind of drifted away and myself and another girl find ourselves going out with other people more than our flat. Now the guys are starting to talk about getting a place next year and while the original, really un-decided plan was that two of them and another person from their course would take one place, and the other two plus us girls would have another, they seem to be more convinced that they all want to live together next year.

The aforementioned girl and I get on well and she's mentioned she and a friend from her course getting a place. However, although I don't think she'd mind me asking I feel a bit loth to ask about joining them, firstly because I haven't been invited and secondly because they tend towards raves, pills and joints and I'm way less into that scene than them.

That in itself wouldn't bother me and I'd be totally comfortable living with them despite our differing habits but if I ask and they decide they're not ok with me living with them, that kind of exhausts my options.

Because I am doing a course made up of lots of different modules from different schools (two languages, politics, history and international relations) I don't really have any firm friends among my coursemates and the ones that I do get on well with I don't really see enough to, again, feel happy about asking them.

My options seems to be:

1. Ask my female flatmate and her friend whether I can share with them.
2. Check with a couple of the people on my course I know better if they need or want another person with them.
3. Re-apply for accommodation next year (which I'd really like to avoid doing) or
4. Find a place on my own.

It isn't that I haven't made friends at uni, but more that I'm not sure that I'm close enough to any people to want to impose upon them. Am I being way too sensitive about it, or am I going to have to face up to the fact that I don't make close friends easily and I'm going to have to work this out alone?

Any ideas or thoughts would be appreciated.

Reply 1

-TMG-

You can reapply yeah or you can look on something like gumtree.co.uk (google gumtree accomodation) and it has lots of ads with people who want others to move in with them. Try that, they have phone numbers on the site so you can talk to them first, go round for a viewing etc.

My gf is planning to move in with me this year, but if I dont get into uni (transfer course) then she's staying here again. If I dont get in I'm going to just travel all round the country writing, living as cheaply as possible lol. Seriously :P

But good luck. Gumtree is a very good option. Looked good to me.

Reply 2

Little Girl Red

Ask the girl if you can move in with them - you're not being too sensitive! If you don't ask then you won't have many other options open to you. I'm sure that they wont mind. Alternatively, why don't you move in with the boys?

Reply 3

I dont know what to do now, I'm depressed, I get on with everyone but they leave me out as in dont ask me to go out with them and dont know what to do about it now....do i try and transfer halls, which the only options r catered, or do i stick it out? i have left it a long time and it hasn't improved and I can't see it improving

Reply 4

Little Girl Red

Why don't you ask them if you can go out? Include yourself?

Reply 5

I do but then when we do go out they block me out, stand infront of me and don't include me in conversations on purpose

Reply 6

wendizzle22

I felt the same in that I don't feel close enough to live with many mates I've met at uni, and in my current flat (university accommodation) there is 8 of us and only 1 other first year, who is hardly here at all. The others are *all* in their final years, so won't be looking for a house!
Luckily I have something in the pipeline but if it falls through I think I'll be looking at private halls, they look pretty good, no landlord trouble, bills paid etc.

Reply 7

Barny

I'd try and live with people I knew first and foremost, so ask the girl and/or any other mates about living arrangements, then if that didn't work I'd re-apply for campus accomodation, or do that first actually, but after that look for a room in a student house, there are plenty of people advertising for a spare housemate etc. which is how I've managed to find somewhere to live last term!

Living on your own is the last option I'd say, and not a great one at that.